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Leftovers: Chase Utley No Longer Only Person On Phillies With Blank Expression

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• Turns out Chris Coste switched to a blank red catching mask because his old nice-looking one violated some new MLB rule due to a league agreement with another equipment manufacturer. Coste called the rule “asinine.” [High Cheese]

The new SEPTA trains will soon be on their way! And by soon, I mean not so soon. (Note: This article features a bonus random Carrie Underwood reference.) [Inquirer]

• The question must be asked: What did the governor know, and when did he know it? About his lieutenant governor’s cancer treatments, that is. Although Catherine Baker Knoll is sick, she’s upbeat and in good spirits. [KYW 1060]

• From the front page of Phillyburbs right now, presumably from an AP story: “Barack Obama says he’s decided on a running mate, but he won’t say who. The Democratic presidential candidate told USA Today on Thursday that he went with someone who is independent and would challenge him in the White House. He also said he wanted someone who is prepared to be president and would help him strengthen the economy.” If you tried, you could probably come up with more meaningless qualifications (”I want someone with at least one x chromosome who has political experience!”) but it would be tough. Here’s the full story, which is (right now) three paragraphs long. [AP/Phillyburbs]

• Comcast is testing a new bandwidth-limiting tool, “an experimental method for managing the Internet [that] could slow speeds for all heavy online users for 10 to 20 minutes.” So instead of just punishing users of the bittorrent protocol, it will punish all users? Oh, goodie. [Inquirer]

Leftovers: Survivor Girls Love The Phillies

• Apparently, young Phillies pitchers can only date women who have been on Survivor, as Kyle Kendrick makes two (Cole Hamels is now married). You’re up, J.A. Happ! [Phillies/baseball]

• SEPTA plans to extend regional rail service (on at least the R5, 6 and 7) after midnight as early as next month. [Bucks County Courier Times]

Yes, yes, I’ve seen this. [Philebrity]

• That anti-casino guy Bill Kearney on the casino industry: “The power this industry has is greater than oil, insurance and banking businesses combined.” The casino industry could totally win the presidential election if it wanted to. [Courier Times]

Leftovers: Consensual Activities

• Another northern Bucks County town doesn’t want any strip clubs in it. Says the Quakertown borough council president: “Because of what has happened in our society in the last 20 years, the boundaries have been so pushed. We have to push back.” [The Intelligencer]

• Lawmakers in Harrisburg are considering allowing social clubs to install video poker machines, because gambling is a-OK as long as undesirable people don’t do it. [KYW 1060]

• Meanwhile, in New Jersey a man has been arrested for allegedly running a brothel out of a vet clinic. A… human brothel, or a dog brothel? [The Star-Ledger]

Nicotine water is back! [Reason]

Leftovers: From A Slow, Hot Summer Day

• The Inquirer had a story on Rittenhouse Square’s homeless population today; the story’s certainly interesting, the comments are certainly exactly what you’d expect. [Inky]

The El in back in service in West Philly. No word if those mysterious possible urban legends known as “token machines” have made it out there yet, though. [SEPTA Watch]

• Sly Fox Pikeland Pils has been named the best beer on the Main Line by Main Line Today. Hey, who knew me and that magazine shared the same taste on anything. [Beer Lass]

• In case you weren’t sure, Pat Burrell does not like being taken out of games for defensive purposes, especially when the Phillies blow the lead he was taken out to protect. Yes, obviously. [Inquirer]

• The PPA might allow you to look up what parking spots are open via your phone so you can drive around the corner only to find somebody just took the spot. Progress, I guess. [KYW 1060]

Leftovers: Good News, Weird News

• St. Joe’s fans rejoice! CBS has replaced NCAA Tournament announcer Billy Packer with Clark Kellogg. [Soft Pretzel Logic]

• More good news: No American Idol auditions in Philadelphia this year. [Inquirer]

• Apparently, the province of Alberta (in Canada) will need to import a ton of workers — but it offers enticements like free health care (starting next year) and high wages and cold air masses. Officials were in Philadelphia today to try to get us to go wrestle against Bret Hart or whatever it is people do for work in Canada. [Daily News]

• Apparently, yesterday was Philadelphia UFO Awareness Day. Gee, how’d I miss that one? [uwishunu]

Leftovers: Soul Men

• Friday’s Family Circus was completely nonsensical. [Comics Curmudgeon]

• The dolphins kickin’ it in the Shrewsbury River in New Jersey made it through the weekend okay, though several boaters got in trouble for nearly killing them. [Daily Record]

• MarketWatch runs a story on Philadelphia’s economic situation, and the comments explode with anti-Philly sentiment. New postulate: “If a story mentioning Philadelphia has a comments section online, it will explode in anti-Philly vitriol.” Thanks, RJ [MarketWatch]

• Hey, the Philadelphia Soul are in the conference title game. Um, yay? [Inquirer]

Leftovers: Conlin, Sixpack And Puppies

• Bill Conlin is apparently doing penance for his “offensive” comments on Daily News Live by writing about the Phillies’ lack of Latin prospects. I guess? [Daily News Live]

• Joe Sixpack writes the new Yards Brewery location at Poplar and Delaware might be opening a brewpub. [Beer Radar]

Rescued puppies in Florida! [CBS 4]

• The Philadelphia Soul have invited the entire town of Morrisville to its playoff game Saturday for free, since one of its players hails from the town. [CNBC]

Leftovers: Gas And Growlers

• Due to high gas prices, there may be another 50-cent surcharge for fuel on taxi rides. But will you be able to pay with a credit card? [KYW 1060]

• A bunch of local Congressman who the liberals fawn over have voted with the Bush Administration in two recent votes. You mean to tell me these people are (gasp!) politicians? [Young Philly Politics]

• Lew Bryson got a ruling on growlers from the LCB, and it’s.. uhm, confusing. But, apparently, growlers are legal in Pennsylvania, despite what some people may tell you. (People are always just passing me on the street, telling me growlers are illegal.) [Why The PLCB Should Be Abolished]

• A school in New Jersey was shut down after a student said he spotted a ninja in the woods. Oh, kids. [Daily Record]

• Ex-Bulletin editor Kevin Williamson has an op-ed bashing the Philly papers in the current issue of National Review. Rest assured I am going to be expensing a copy of the magazine tomorrow. [Clout]

• A lightning strike in Europe briefly knocked out the feed for Euro 2008 for the entire world, apparently. Ha, ha, ha. Lovely.

Leftovers: O, Canada!

• The Canadian Press (of course) reports there’s a new race car museum opening in Philadelphia. Why, thank you, Canada, for this information about our fair city. [Canadian Press]

• A soccer player in Delaware is wanted for biting a ref after he got a red card. Knowing soccer refs, I’m going to say this man deserves a medal and not an assault charge. [NBC 10]

• For just $17.99, you can get Mike Schmidt’s new wine at the state store. (Probably not all of ‘em.) [Phoodie.info]

• Hey, a woman in Warwick allegedly attacked a man with a vacuum. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a Dyson, so the suction wasn’t as powerful as it could have been. [The Intelligencer]

OMG NEW TD COMMERCE BANK! [Camden Courier-Post]

• Vai Sikahema is training for his bout with Jose Canseco down the shore. Better get on the ‘roids! [NBC 10]

• And, finally, your Phillyblog thread of the week: A crossing guard caught smoking pot. [via Hickey]

Leftovers: Comcast, Etc.

• Hey, look, SportsNet NY is available on satellite but Comcast SportsNet isn’t. On the plus side, there will (hopefully!) be no more astroturfing by Comcast PR flak as Comcast and the Big Ten Network are close to reaching an agreement. Oh, boy, how do I love Comcast minutiae. [Inquirer, Philly Business Journal]

• By now you’ve read about Beau Zabel, the future Philly public school teacher/Starbucks employee shot and killed yesterday at 8th and Ellsworth. And now the Inquirer is asking if he was killed for his iPod. Be sure to read the comments, as usual. [Inquirer]

• Oh, yeah, the SEPTA cops are back on the job. [SEPTA Watch]

• Meanwhile, police are going to start issuing “positive tickets” for kids who do good deeds. “In turn, the tickets could be redeemed at several businesses for rewards, such as a free slice of pizza.” So it’s like Book-It, kinda. [AP/NBC 10]

• Legendary music venue J.C. Dobbs will soon re-open on South Street. [Philebrity]

• Let’s get pumped for two big future-of-Philadelphia forums coming soon to (just wait) Philadelphia. [The Illadelph]

Bonus! Headline of the day: What’s happening to M. Knight [Shyamalan]?