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A Perspective-Changing Event

Your lead of the day, courtesy of the Daily Pennsylvanian:

Meg Ryan closed her eyes, tilted her head back and moaned, “Oh god, oh god.” She appeared to be experiencing an orgasm - but unknown to most men, she was faking it.

Just think, men, how far we’ve come since 1989.

This article also contains the following sentence: “For example, masturbation does not cause deformities.” I kind of miss covering events that would allow me to write awesome leads and sentences like these.

Also: “‘It totally changed my perspective on the vagina,’ College freshman Mathew Lazarus said.”

Sex Educators Demystify Orgasms [DP]

A Criminal Worse Than Hitler


In a city where horrors happen daily, this crime seemed more horrific than most.

Oh, man, what was it? Did Christine Flowers shoot somebody who made fun of the Pope? Did 500 kids get killed all at once?

No, wait, of course: It was an attack on a dog. Okay, so the woman allegedly attacked the dog with a hatchet, which is pretty ridiculous — fight fair, lady! — but of course the Daily News treats it as if Zombie Barbaro had been killed. Uhm, again.

Understatement Of The Day


A beautiful spring afternoon was spoiled for one man who fell about 70 feet while trying to scale High Rocks in Ralph Stover State Park on Wednesday.

Yes, I would say falling 70 feet might spoil my day. Thanks, Intelligencer.

Climber falls 70 feet [The Intelligencer]

Soul (Cleansing) Train

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Hey, here’s how the Daily News summed up the weekend!

Thousands of residents took to the streets Saturday for a citywide spring cleaning, but after a violent weekend - including two home invasions, a robbery, a stabbing, five shootings, and a homicide - a citywide cleanup of the soul might also be needed.

The hell? Did Bill Bennett write this lead? Yes, let’s all get together, hold hands and cleanse our souls.

The Philadelphia Soul had no comment.

Weekend violence rocks the city [Daily News]

Lead Of The Day


READING, Pa. - March 10, 2008 (WPVI) — Saturday night into Sunday there was a series of storms and high winds the hit the area around Reading, Pa. But the same time, at the home of a supermarket chain executive, something deadly was going on.

Gary Redner, 55, was found dead outside his home in Lower Heidelberg Township. The father of 2 adult children is divorced and lived alone.

Supermarket executive murdered [6 ABC]

OMG STFU NEWB PAEDOPHILE

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State police have busted a dude with a collection of child porn apparently by using tactics from the Book of ChrissMari:

BENSALEM - State police have busted another alleged child porn collector in Bucks County after trolling the Internet.

They managed to catch the dude after countless hours spent telling newbies to go back to other forums, telling bloggers their blogs aren’t as good as they used to be and exhorting the candidacy of Ron Paul.

Man charged with collecting child porn [Bucks County Courier Times]

Death At, Erhm, Hobo Camp

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Six were killed in eight hours last night. Let’s read the Inquirer story about it.

Violence in Philadelphia last night left five dead and an armed man wounded in a span of eight hours. Another death in a West Philadelphia hobo camp is under investigation as a possible homicide.

Wait, really? HOBO CAMP? Well. There is a National Hobo Convention, so I guess it’s accurate. Erhm.

Yeah, I never really thought I’d see the words “hobo camp” in the newspaper. I’m not quite sure how to react.

Update: Google News shows three instances of “hobo camp” in newspapers this month.

Eight hours, six dead in Phila. [Inquirer]

When Murder Turns Deadly

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Not just that, but this homicide was against the law!

Homicide in Claymont [6 ABC]

Deer Hunters, Protesters Inspire Easy Lead Joke

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Leads like this are great because they work with any story:

What do deer hunters and protesters have in common?

Both will rise bright and early Thursday for the deer hunt at Tyler State Park.

I know, I get it; but it could just as easily be adapted to “What do the Eagles and Giants have in common? They’re meeting at the Linc next weekend.”

Protesters ready to greet hunters [Courier Times]

Lead Of The Day


The theme song for a classic television show several years ago crooned about going to a place where “everybody knows your name.”

Yes, a classic television show! Boy, what could that show have been that aired several years ago?

Family rooted in Waterford [Courier-Post]