Doink. Doink.

Let’s head back to Bucks County and focus on the District Attorney’s race there. Duh! Of course this is what’s next on the agenda.

Republican and current “Chief Deputy District Attorney” Gary Gambardella has dropped out of the race for DA, because ex-judge and fellow GOP member David Heckler (Boo! Hiss! Your jokes suck!) has decided to run. Gambardella is now going to run for a judgeship.

Let’s see why:

“We desperately need a unified party,” he said. “Staying in this race for even a minute would have disrupted the party. I think that with Dave Heckler on board we can have a ‘Law and Order’ ticket that will draw people to our party.”

There’s a chance he’s referring to “law and order” (the stupid campaign slogan that usually means “cracking down on and locking up undesirables”) and not Law & Order, the show, but I’m hoping it’s the latter.

Not just for political reasons, mind you! I was hoping we’d get a Law & Order campaign for president, but Fred Thompson failed to gain any traction in the Republican primary (after making one of his first campaign promises a pardon for Scooter Libby) and eventually dropped out. I’m thinking campaign ads with the L&O theme, promising to indict as many people as possible in every situation (a la Jack McCoy) and maybe a rule that only incredibly attractive assistant district attorneys will be hired.

All in all, I think it’s a good idea. Doink doink!

Gambardella drops district attorney bid [Courier Times]

There Is One In Delaware, Though

I was watching Law & Order, uh, well a few minutes ago, and Det. Green said a suspect had opened a bar “near Philly.” Now, L&O almost always uses real place names. And so, Briscoe and Green went down to this little burg right near our fair city.

Can Pennsylvania sue for defamation of character?

Jack McCoy To Indict 100 People, Too

Hey kids! D’jou like Law & Order? How about L&O character Arthur Branch? Ahh, Arthur Branch, he’s the DA. Jack McCoy’s boss. Yes, yes, that guy. The guy in the photo. Okay. God it? Good, good.

Uh, where was I? Oh, right, Arthur Branch. Well, Arthur Branch, or at last his real-life alter-ego Fred Dalton Thompson, is thinking of running for President. Yes, you might be able to vote for the guy who kinda-sorta know from L&O. Thompson was a also a senator from Tennessee from 1994 to 2003, but really the only reason anybody’s suggesting he run for president is he’s a semi-recognizable guy from a TV show that airs 24 hours a day on TNT.

If you’re wondering, in addition to a bunch of conservative positions — pro-life, anti-gay marriage, anti-gun control, pro-war — Thompson also has two views that will surely get him elected to leader of the free world: (1) More troops in Iraq and (2) A pardon for Scooter Libby. That second issue, of course, is the most important one to 99 percent of Americans.

In other news, Richard Belzer will be running as Det. John Munch in next New York City mayoral election. He’ll probably win.

Actor Fred Thompson considers 2008 run [AP/Boston.com]

Reason #8 To Love Philadelphia: Bob Saget

You may know him as the dad from Full House or the guy with the funny cameo in Half Baked. But tonight, Philadelphia’s own Bob Saget — who, as his IMDB page helpfully notes, attended Temple — is on Law & Order: SVU. (And tonight Mariska Hartigay returns and does a live blog after the East Coast airing!)

Saget plays a member of a dance troupe who may have all gotten together to murder a woman in a case involving drugs and infidelity. Seriously, this is already way better than Farce of the Penguins. Huzzah.

Update, 1:16 p.m.: A tipster passes along this nugget: Bob Saget comes to the Tower Theatre Jan. 19, and tickets go on sale Saturday. Wow, this post was more topical than I originally thought.

‘Law & Order: SVU’ Does Phillyspeak

I wasn’t really paying attention too much last night while watching Law & Order: SVU, but this totally caught my eye (apologies for the audio not matching up in the beginning):

Down the shore! The show totally has to have a writer from Philly.

In the criminal justice system…

Late last week, CBS broke the story that former Senate Majority Leader Howard Baker asked President Bush to shake up his advisers by adding former Tennessee Sen. Fred Dalton Thopmson. Big whoop, so what, you say?

Well, Fred Thompson is none other than D.A. Arthur Branch on Law & Order (that’s him in the center of the photo) and a few of its spinoffs.

Just imagine the possibilities. I don’t care if Thompson’s policies include shooting bald eagles for sport — there would be a cast member of Law & Order in the White House, and that means we’re one step closer to getting D.A. Jack McCoy (played by Sam Watterson) elected president!

Could you imagine McCoy as prez? He’d just indict all the terrorists, bring them in, bing bam boom and there’s no more terrorists. that Iranian nutjob causing problems? Just use a little legal maneuvering and, wham, he’s in jail for at least a year. And just think how well the economy would do when T.D. Waterhouse takes over Social Security!

If you’re not quite convinced just yet, there’s more: Fred Dalton Thomspon was in both Racing Stripes and Baby’s Day Out, which might even be better than electing a president (twice) who was once in a movie with a chimp.

Shakeup Urged For Bush Staff [CBS News]
Fred Dalton Thompson [IMDB]

Quickies: Yo Adrian!

• The National Coalition for the Homeless releases a list of the 20 meanest cities to the homeless and Philadelphia is not on the list. Take that, Sarasota! (Oh, and Chicago and New York and Las Vegas and Dallas and Houston and San Francisco and Los Angeles and Phoenix and Pittsburgh.) [KYW 1060]

• The Case of the Hit and Run Nun heats up: Police found a truck that kinda sorta matches the description of the truck that struck and killed Sister Paul Mercedes Perreca. They questioned the driver, a Northeast Philly man, but say he’s just a “person of interest,” not a suspect. If Law & Order has taught me anything, there’s about 15 more minuntes left until Briscoe and Green catch the real killer! [Inky]

• New Jersey slogan: “New Jersey: Come See For Yourself.” Eh. I don’t see that making it onto an ironic Urban Outfitters tee anytime soon. [6 ABC]

• And, KYW 3 has a slideshow of Rocky Balboa sightings. [KYW 3]