This Is Why I Leave My Gun At Home When I Go To The Local Strip Club

Patrons at Cheerleaders were having a good time watching the silicone bounce — or, rather, not bounce — last night until, oh, a dude accidentally shot himself in the head. The Daily News‘ David Gambacorta writes:

Police were called to the topless bar - a sports-theme establishment nestled in a quiet South Philly shopping center - about 9:30 p.m. A patron had accidentally shot himself in the head, splattering a bare-chested dancer with his blood.

Investigators said it appeared that the unidentified middle-aged man was somehow carrying his firearm improperly, which might have caused it to discharge while he was sitting inside the topless bar.

Wait, he splattered a stripper? (Uh, that sounds dirty.) Was she giving him a lap dance? Man, that’d be a way to go.

Gun goes off in topless bar; man critical [Daily News]