Drexel Staff Baffled By Obvious Jocelyn Kirsch Lie

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about our girl Jocelyn Kirsch, the female half of the Bonnie & Clyde of Identity Fraud. Today’s Daily News points to a story from a recent Drexel Triangle article with this fun tale: Jocelyn Kirsch allegedly claimed to be an adjunct professor at Drexel.

The Drexel paper says Kirsch pretended to be an adjunct in order to get a free parking pass and use University computers at Drexel’s Language and Communication Center.

Kirsch, known around the language office for her revealing clothes and long dark hair walked to the front desk and asked for a pass last year while taking a placement test. When asked if she was a professor she claimed to be an adjunct and was granted the pass. “I was very convinced,” said one staff member who wished to remain anonymous.

Kirsch used the pass for two weeks, the paper says, but doesn’t say why she stopped. Now they apparently “grill” people asking for passes. Actually, here Kirsch just sounds kinda awesome. Compared to Alycia Lane, I think she’s Katherine Drexel.

Leftovers: Recycle, Beautifully

• Rejoice, Northeast Philadelphians! You can now recycle without sorting and you’ll get it picked up by these spiffy trucks! Because nothing is going to make people on the Avenue recycle than pretty, pretty trucks. [Metro]

• Hey, look, there’s war going on in the Middle East. Man, I thought that show was cancelled. [CNN.com]

• Article of the Day™: This New York Times piece about the word slut. Apparently, “Like ‘queer’ and ‘pimp’ before it, the word slut seems to be moving away from its meaning as a slur. Or is it?” One day, I hope to be able to write an article with a paragraph that profound. [NYT]

• Philly: Not prepared for an evacuation. So if aliens attack, we’re screwed. [Inquirer]

• More Metro fun: Goers, who lives in the G-Ho section of Philly, is a computer programmer.” G-Ho! [Metro]

Leftovers: F—ing Interesting

• The Language Log investigates the history of using asterisks or dashes to block out those d— curse words. Turns out it goes back to 1680! Fucking interesting, I say! [Language Log]

• Philly gets some love from CNN for not being as fat as we used to be. Yes, they’re praising our city for a woman (Fitness Czar Gwen Foster) who came up with the plan of “virtual ‘trips’ to creatively named cities such as Hon-A-Lose-It, Hawaii; and Las Veggies, Nevada.” Eh, sounds good to us. Hooray for a more fit Philadelphia! (Well, according to suspicious magazine rankings.) [CNN]

• Puppy in a hose! [Cute Overload]

• The Philadelphia Archdiocese is being sued under federal racketeering laws. Legal experts — surprise — say it’s a long shot. [Inquirer]

• Philadelphia’s Planning Commission seems kind of like every other kind of government in this town. Maybe the world. [Changing Skyline]

Language Change Frightens Clark DeLeon

Clark DeLeon’s Metro column today avoids defending the little guy and instead attacks him (and him and her and her) by explaining his opposition to gay marriage.

Unlike others, DeLeon’s opposition to gay marriage isn’t because of religious or squeamish reasons. At least that’s not what he says. It’s due to the fact that, well, letting two people of the same sex marry would just confuse him:

I don’t know why the state decided that one man can’t marry two women, or that two women can’t marry a 12-year-old boy, but I agree with those prohibitions on an intuitive level. … Forget the arguments, both legal and emotional. Consider the fate of the language. Remember when “partner” meant a co-equal in business or tennis? Subtlely, noticeably, people don’t use the word “partner” the way they used to. Without knowing why, I always hated the word “queer.” Now it’s in the name of a TV show. The rules of language — the meaning of words — changes. But certain words have immutable definitions.

You hear that gays! You’ve already ruined the word partner and Clark DeLeon doesn’t want anyone thinking his tennis partner is his gay partner! You selfish bastards, wanting this whole “gay marriage” thing without thinking what it does to poor Metro columnists.

State of marriage complex enough [Metro]
May 30: Goliath vs. Goliath

America Votes 2006

I’m afraid, but okay: Click.

CBS 3

Leftovers: Sex, Lies & Videotape

• Story of, perhaps, the year, courtesy of Dan Gross: NBC 10 traffic reporter John Ogden was handcuffed and it was caught on video. (He ended up not being charged with anything — “wrong place, wrong time” it seems.) But the actual best part of it was that CBS 3 bought the video without knowing Ogden was in it. They say they’re not going to air it, which is good for the contest-winning traffic reporter, but bad for the other 1.4 million Philadelphians. [DN]

• I’m going to try to link this story about “city girl” speak without, like, writing some sort of city girl speak. Wait… d’oh! [New York Observer]

• An update: The meeting between John Street and James Kenney was not just them, it was a four-way with Bob Brady and Frank DiCicco. Ew, that’s nasty. [DN]

• Rumor of the Day: Judy Miller is going to be writing for Atlantic Monthly. And Steve Glass has the cover in the next issue of, uh, N+1. [Gawker]

• This article in Slate about how drug testing doesn’t deter students from drug usage is good, but I love the caption on the stock photograph even better: “A student smokes a joint.” [Slate]

• People are so scared of peak oil — the idea that, essentially, we’re going to run out — they’re acquiring land in the desert to start new lives when the shit hits the fan. Uh, I’ll continue being not stupid, thank you very much. [Salon]

• The prostitute/”real estate agent” who was allegedly murdered by a bouncer was dismembered after her death, according to testimony. And then a 17-year-old allegedly shot the bouncer. Wow. [NBC 10]

¿Quiénes son estas idiotas?

A poll from NBC 10:

This just in: At least 2,047 people who visit NBC 10 are total effing morons.

Teen Sues After Being Suspended For Speaking Spanish [NBC 10]

And now, a persnickety rant

Okay, yes, I know “kudo” is now a word and I know that back formations of words have happened before, but you know what: No. It’s incorrect. I almost always thing think (Editor’s note: I’m an idiot.) the “dumbing down of language” argument is really stupid, but since “kudos” was already singular there’s no reason to drop the ’s.’ For shame, Inquirer copy editor! You should know better.

Wi-Fi project director gets another kudo [Inky]
Definition: kudo [Merriam-Webster]