Trentonian Columnist: City Needs Plan For Obama Assassination

Trenton is a city in New Jersey, and it has two newspapers, one of which is The Trentonian. (You follow me here?) And The Trentonian has a columnist named L.A. Parker.

And, today, the columnist with a name disturbingly close to the company that brought us L.A. Lights shoes wrote a column titled Activist: City needs plan for Obama assassination. Oh, yes, what will happen to Trenton if its most famous native son, Barack Obama, is assassinated? They better have a contingency plan!

Anyway, here’s the best paragraph:

Whether you believe James Earl Ray acted alone or Lee Harvey Oswald fired without conspiracy or that John Wilkes Booth delivered a monological historical intervention, assassination remains a showstopper of U.S. human energy.

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