Superwoman Playing At Lincoln U.

You may remember Lincoln University Athletics — the Lions — from their previous exploits: winning a men’s basketball game 201-78 and losing a pair of softball games 30-0 and 48-0.

(By the way, apologies for the anger in that post about the Lincoln’s 201-78 win. I guess in Dec. 2006 I wasn’t quite as jaded? If this happened today I’d probably throw them a party, or maybe criticize Lincoln for not scoring enough points. Seriously, what was wrong with me back then? Don’t answer that.)

Lincoln was ranked 11th in the country at the time it put up 201 points, but maybe the ghost of Dr. James Naismith is making sure they don’t have that kind of success again anytime soon. (He’s also like, “Fuck! Cut the hold in the bottom of the peach basket! I’m a doctor and I didn’t think of that?! Man, am I embarrassed.”) The men’s team is 2-8 this season.

But it’s the women’s team we’re interested in today. Lincoln U.’s athletics website was pretty upbeat back in early November. It’s easy to see why, what with a superstar like Chanelle Harris on the team:

Harris has combined the passion of Allen Iverson, the speed of Usain Bolt, the strength of Jameer Nelson, the grace of Dawn Staley and the precision of Kristi Tolvier to blossom into one of the top point guards in the CIAA.

If you’re wondering: Kristi Toliver was named the top point guard in Division I last season. Yeah, I had to look it up. But, um, shit! The speed of Usain Bolt? She should be running professionally, I think, with that kind of talent. And the passion of A.I.? Does that mean she drinks a soda on the sideline and works on her raps during practice? (This actually happened at a Sixers open practice at the Palestra.)

The article also lets us know our super-human point guard is nicknamed “Monica” after the character in Love and Basketball. Man, if I were a college athlete, I’d imitate a character in Blue Chips and get a duffel bag filled with cash.

As for the Lincoln U. women, well… they’re having a bit of a tough time this season, its second as a transitional NCAA Division II member. The team won its first game but has since dropped 13 straight. Well, we know lack of speed’s not the problem.

Super-charged Harris ready to lead Lincoln to success in 2008-09 [LULions.com]