Keystone Cops: Myspace Dangers Intensify!

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• Two men were killed yesterday, bringing the homicide total in Philadelphia to 71. (Yesterday’s total was wrong because I forgot to change the number. But of course.) One of the victims was an 18-year-old who was shot 10 times. [Inquirer]

• Pro anorexia groups are infiltrating Myspace! And here I thought the only dangers on Myspace were NAMBLA members and really, really shitty bands friending you. [NBC 10]

• A local anti-tax activist faces jail time for not paying his federal income tax. He’s supported in this article by a man who served 31 months in jail for conspiring to bilk the IRS out of money. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• And an army man had to come home because his mother was shot and killed. Yeesh. Let’s just move on. [Daily News]

Keystone Cops: Your Shooting Is Delayed

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• The shooting at the hotel near the airport yesterday was apparently apparently a hoax. No, really: “There were several questions that were asked of him that led us to believe it was a possible hoax. We asked him to look outside room and tell us what color railing he had and he said it was one color but it was actually another color which was the opposite of what he said.” [KYW 1060]

• The woman who allegedly swung her baby as a club to hit her boyfriend pled guilty to swinging her baby as a club to hit her boyfriend. [6 ABC]

• The $500k-a-year police patrol at the old MOVE house has been shuttered after 20 years, City Managing Director Pedro Ramos said. The city will look for new and exciting ways to waste $500k a year in the meantime. [KYW 1060]

• And a car flipped over on the boulevard. [CBS 3]

Keystone Cops: Hotel Shooting

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• A woman was apparently shot at the Renaissance Hotel near the airport. The suspect is reportedly barricaded inside his room, and the Philly SWAT team is down there along with Delco law enforcement. [CBS 3]

• The Pennsylvania woman who allegedly used her 4-week old son as a weapon against her boyfriend will be in court today. Here’s hoping her punishment is being beaten with four-week old infants. Hmm, wait, that might not work. [AP/6 ABC]

• Meanwhile, three people are dead in an apparently murder-suicide in New Jersey. Geeze, I guess when someone decapitates Ronald McDonald all the rest of the crime becomes super-depressing.

• A huge fire destroyed a Chili’s in New Jersey. Workers were immediately transferred to the 47,000 other Chilis in the mile radius around the store. [Inquirer]

Keystone Cops: Black Cash Moan

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• A new version of the Nigerian Pigeon Drop/419 scam! Two Liberian men told a worker at Station Check Cashing they needed $200,000 to clean the black goo they smeared over money in order to smuggled it into the U.S. For a reward, he’d get his 200 grand back and some extra cash. Of course, it was a scam and the men were arrested in a sting operation. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• It’s unclear why the two people executed in a car in a Mantua parking lot were actually there to begin with. Apparently, the man got into an argument and was shot and killed, and the 65-year-old woman was shot for witnessing the killing. Yeesh. [Daily News]

• A Pittsburgh man sent a severed kitten head to his ex-girlfriend — in a gift box! — because the relationship ended. Aww, isn’t it cute when couples try to make up? [AP/NBC 10]

• A police officer was injured by a drunk driver last night but is expected to be okay. Basically, if you like car crash porn, the video on the Action News website will totally be your bag. [6 ABC]

Keystone Cops: More Of The Same

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• A double homicide in Mantua was the city’s 63rd and 64th killing this year, 13 ahead of last year’s total. [Inquirer]

• Cherry Hill vs. Smut may have succeeded (I guess), but Cherry Hill vs. Sex Offenders isn’t going so well now that a court has thrown out the township’s ordinance restricting where convicted sex offenders live. “I frankly cannot understand why the state courts would not support our township’s efforts to trample on the rights of everyone we don’t like,” Mayor Bernie Platt said. [Camden Courier-Post]

• Meanwhile, Miguel Figueroa will represent himself in a retrial of the 1996 murder/rape of a 13-year-old girl. He’ll lose. [Camden Courier-Post]

• The Cherry Hill grade-change scandal? All just a practical joke gone awry. A practical joke that ended in third-degree computer theft. [Inquirer]

Keystone Cops: Piracy Funds Terrorism

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• Warren Greene, of Spinsters Records in New Hope, has been charged with violating federal copyright laws. He allegedly had 5,000 bootleg/pirated/etc. CDs. RIAA agents worked with federal investigators — not quite sure how that works, but whatevs — blah blah blah you know how these things work. Fight the man, Warren! [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Jon Corzine is looking to start a new bear patrol to keep the bear from scaring away New Jersey’s salmon. Also, people should remove their bird feeders as to not attract those lovable black bears. Obligatory Simpsons reference: “We’re here! We’re queer! We don’t want any more bears!” [AP/CBS 3]

• Philly: Murder Capital of the Big Cities. Well that’s not a very good nickname at all. However, indoor murders are up the most, possibly due to the recent cold spell. Oh. [Daily News]

• 26-year-old Kareem Hutt was charged with one of the 18 splash-and-grab robberies. Hutt has been charged in connection with a robbery at a Voorhees Wawa, but not any of the others. [Inquirer]

Keystone Cops: Before There Was Dick In A Box…

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the “boy in the box” murder, Philadelphia’s most famous — and, really, strangest — unsolved mystery. No one has ever figured out who the boy is, who murdered him and put him in a box and pretty much anything else in the case. It’s all very strange, but, I mean, whoever murdered him is possibly dead, right? Which kind of makes it sadder, I guess. [Inquirer]

• Seventeen people were arrested at a brawl at Camden High yesterday. “They were using nightsticks and hitting us for no reason,” said Izzy Tomlinson, a senior. “It was one little fight turned into this big thing — they Tased children.” Except Jersey cops aren’t allowed to use Tasers, so… uh… do they have them? The cops say no. Kids? Lying to make themselves look better? Well I never! [Camden Courier-Post]

• Police seized 40 bags of crack in an undercover drug deal in Bensalem. And, as such, the supply of drugs in our area ended for good. [Bucks County Courier Times]

Keystone Cops: 58 Is No-So-Great

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• Philadelphia had its 58th homicide last night, easily outpacing last year’s total of 49 at this point. There was a little lull in mid-January, but now the city is just rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, possibly to 500 homicides! We’ll be at Revolution War-level mortality rate in this city before long! Sigh. [Inquirer]

• Additionally, weekend gun violence killed four other people and wounded six. One of the incidents with wounded men was in front of the CVS at 19th and Chestnut, after a dispute at Tragos. Naturally, the people involved in that one were from Jersey. Hey, go to your TGI Friday’s in your own state, jerks! [Inquirer]

• A woman in Buxco is pushing for methadone clinics to be open on Sundays so patients can’t take or sell their Sunday take-home dose. [The Intelligencer]

• The Tropicana in A.C. is going smoke-free with non-gambling smoking lounges. [Camden Courier-Post]

• And this Daily News letter writer wants you to know that even though these people died in a fire, they broke the law with their illegal electricity hookup and so they deserved it, or something. [DN]

Keystone Cops: Teenagers Nowadays

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• A 15-year-old high schooler from Norristown is charged with holding up six convenience stores. Fortunately, since he’s only 15, the prosecutors have come up with a great rehabilitation program: “Our position is going to be that he is not amenable to any kind of rehabilitative treatment — none, zero. This kid needs to go away and he needs to go away for a long time.” Oh. [KYW 1060]

• Andre Henry, the man who said it was actually his twin brother — which he doesn’t have — who committed all the crimes he was accused of, was found guilty of all those crimes. Oh, yeah, he also tried to sneak a homemade knife into the courtroom and wanted to blow up the Gallery in order to rob a bank while everyone was concerned about the Gallery. Henry’s plan was foiled when he realized people would be celebrating too much for him to get into any banks to rob if the Gallery were blown up. [Inquirer]

• 19-year-old Jacob Christine of Bethlehem was arrested after firing a gun at a motel that hit two people after it ricocheted off a wall. [NBC 10]

• A 14-year-old has been charged with several attacks at Temple University. Yes, it appears almost all of our criminals today are teenagers. [6 ABC]

Keystone Cops: Did I Ask A Stupid Question?

Keystone Cops is a daily look at crime, police, public safety and drug news. Homicide totals are unofficial.

• Two women who helped a man enter for a home invasion robbery are now facing second- and third-degree murder charges since the owner of the house was killed. How’d they find the alleged culprits? The man who allegedly fired the fatal shot left his cell phone at the scene and then allegedly asked police: “Did I leave my phone at a crime scene?” [Bucks County Courier Times]

• An 82-year-old woman who was beaten during a home invasion Feb. 2 died yesterday due to injuries sustained in the attack. Police are looking for the assailant, now with an upgraded charge of murder. [Inquirer]

• KYW 1060 headline: “Death at Olney Station Disrupts Broad St. Subway Service.” Oh no! Disrupting service! Oh, yes, and a man died. [KYW 1060]

• One of the police officers who was hit by a robbery suspect’s brother with a car yesterday is in critical condition after surgery meant to save his leg. Police commish Sly Johnson said the officers heard a man say, “You’re not going to take my brother to jail.” Which may be true — no word on whether the robbery suspect was arrested — but now the man trying to stop that is probably going to be in prison himself for a long time. [Inquirer]