Philly.com Continues Baiting Its Readers

Philly.com’s current previous front is devoted to Karen Heller’s column on cheesesteaks. Heller’s column is mostly a recap of the recent hilarious Internet drama-style cheesesteak war in City Council, but veers off at the end into a discussion about why the cheesesteak is annoying. Heller proposes the city’s sandwich be a “roast pork Italian with aged provolone and broccoli rabe.” (Hmm. A bit wordy for my taste, though I do appreciate any sort of attack on cheesesteaks, the most overdone Philly thing besides Rocky.)

There isn’t any new Alycia Lane or Kidd Chris news, so Philly.com plastered this on the front page. And now there are over 100 comments. And they’re pretty typical of the website with the world’s stupidest readers; my favorite is, “Next person who tries to defend this woman will find me outside of their residence/place of business w/ a tire iron and a determination to ‘keep it real.’”

We’re coming up on even slower news days — both later this week and in the news-dry month of August. John Carroll and I came up with some future front-page topics for Philly.com, which you can read below. These are sure to attract a ton of comments.

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‘Inquirer’ Getting Hang Of This ‘Internet’

Today, the Inquirer’s Karen Heller writes a column clearly not intended for my demographic. It’s about how Facebook, um, exists, and kids use it more than adults. (GG on Karen Heller: “It’s almost too easy to make fun of because she doesn’t really make a coherent argument most of the time…. I feel like she probably has a lot of devoted middle-aged women readers though.” Just like Philadelphia Will Do!)

Her point at the end of this column appears to be: “Now, we’ve entered into a whole new world of Facedroppers, people who will tell you they have so many more friends than you do.” I really don’t know anyone who cares about their number of Facebook friends; perhaps “Google Analytics Analysts” bragging about their blog’s traffic would have fit better here. There’s also this:

Facebook turns out to be as slow as America Onhold once was.

Now let’s all add Karen Heller on Facebook now. Her and I already have eight mutual friends, after all.

Karen Heller: Beware strangers asking to be friends [Inquirer]

Oh, I Get It! ‘Stacked’! Oh, That’s Clever

In yesterday’s Inquirer, Karen Heller reviews and comments on Stacked: A 32DDD Reports from the Front. (To note: Gawker has doubted her DDD-ness.)

Heller pretty much summarizes the book — guys care about boobs, guys stare at boobs, bra makers don’t make bras right, etc. — but also offers some of her own advice:

In a survey of 50,000 women and men, almost three-quarters of the female respondents said they desired fuller, rounder breasts. Men were a slightly happier lot: Only 44 percent said they wouldn’t mind if their partners had larger ones. However, in the same poll, 85 percent of the women claimed utter satisfaction with their partners’ size.

In other words, women are perpetually unhappy with their appearance, ever desirous of change, while men are swell the way they are.

No. In other words, dicks are big, and boobs aren’t big enough.

Intuition | Sizing up the female infatuation with big breasts [Inquirer]
Is ‘Stacked’ Author Susan Seligson Padding Her, Uh, Resume? [Gawker]