GLOAT.O.: A Tale Of Three Papers

Side by side, the front pages of the Dallas Morning News and the Philadelphia Inquirer. Eagles-Dallas coverage is highlighted in green.

And, of course, our city’s precious Daily News (again, with Eagles coverage highlighted in green):

The moral here? Our city (and the media within it) may be obsessed with football, but at least we won!

American Justice

Yesterday, from the Inquirer:

In 1999, [Lawrence Scott] Ward ended a six-year legal fight in a sex-solicitation case by entering a plea in which he did not admit guilt but acknowledged prosecutors had enough evidence for conviction. ¶ He was sentenced to five years’ probation by Montgomery County Judge S. Gerald Corso.

Today, from the Intelligencer:

Baby formula theft: Joseph M. Riddle, 44, of Warminster, was found guilty by a Bucks County jury on Aug. 21 for the attempted theft of baby formula from the CVS on Route 202, police said. He was sentenced to no less than two years and not more than four years in the county jail.

Police news - 8/30/06 [Doylestown Intelligencer]
Yesterday: Penn Professors Love Their Kiddie Porn

The Real Philadelphia Victims

Inquirer, “Pressing the flesh during the dog days,” today:

The streets are a little emptier, the clothes a little brighter, and pedestrians’ steps a little lighter. Some days it seems the whole city is at the Shore.

It’s the dead of summer, and the living is easy in Philadelphia - unless you want to be mayor.

Daily News, “A dream dies in N. Philly,” today:

The house that Ruth built was shuttered last month because Birchett can no longer support it on a small juvenile-delinquency-prevention grant from the city’s Department of Human Services and large contributions from her modest disability income.

Her absence will be felt in her drug-riddled neighborhood, where the police reported 578 violent crimes last year and 653 through July of this year.

“The only commerce in this neighborhood is D-commerce, drug commerce,” the 54-year-old grandmother said. “That’s because there is no access to any other kind of employment that pays a living wage.

Yeah, but those mayoral candidates have it the hardest.

The Out-Of-Towners

“Locals lament the boors at the Jersey Shore,” Philadelphia Inquirer, by Jacqueline L. Urgo, yesterday:

Up and down the coast, from June to September, police, beach patrols, real estate agents, and just about anyone else who will listen field calls and complaints about disorderly conduct, or trespassing, or misappropriated parking spots, or streakers on the beach, or tourists feeding seagulls.

“There’s an old saying at the Shore that people check their brain at the bridge when they come here for vacation,” said Avalon Chief of Police Stephen Sykes. “Some of them just seem to let go of all common sense, and 90 percent of what they do here are things they wouldn’t dream of doing back home in Pennsylvania or North Jersey.”

Sykes said his department gets so many complaints in the locals-vs.-visitors category each summer that “at some point, we all just stop shaking our heads over it.”

“Curbing drunks is fine with most fans: 20 arrested as Eagles crack down on rowdies,” Philadelphia Daily News, by April Adamson, Nov. 24, 2997:

During yesterday’s showdown with the Steelers, 20 fans were arrested .

Perhaps the biggest surprise was that only one of the 20 people who were collarred was a Philadelphia resident. Most of those nabbed hail from New York, New Jersey, Delaware and the Pennsylvania suburbs.

People are assholes. People from out-of-town are even bigger assholes. Nothing’s changed in nine years.

Locals lament the boors at the Jersey shore [Inquirer]

It’s A Gas On Taxes

Here’s a pair of headlines, conveniently right on top of each other, on the front page of Philly.com yesterday:

The moral of the story? Raise gas prices to three or four bucks a gallon if you want, but if you make people pay an extra penny in taxes for every dollar they spend, they’ll fight you to the death.

Wheels just keep rolling despite high cost of gas [Inquirer]
Already fed up with the 7% tax [Inquirer]

In George Bush’s America, he’s actually doin’ alright

If you ever need to know anything about the strange, inexact science of journalism, all you need to do is look at the two following headlines. One is from the Bucks County Courier Times. The other is from the Doylestown Intelligencer. The Courier covers Lower Bucks, while the Intel covers Upper Bucks and parts of Montgomery County.

They’re both owned by the same company (Calkins) and frequently the same articles run in both papers. And the following two headlines are on the same exact story.

First, the Courier:

Good job, Fitz! Clearly your high school student council secretary look is getting your accolades. Now let’s check the Intel head:

Erhm.

The D- is a “good score” on this League of Conservation Voters report, actually. Which makes me wish I had gone to school whereever they went.

Fitzpatrick’s votes on environment commended [Bucks County Courier Times]
Fitzpatrick earns D-minus for environmental voting [Doylestown Intelligencer]

Fun with juxtaposition, university edition (vol. 2)

Last week, the Washington Post wrote an article mainly about how Penn has shed its image as a crime-ridden University and has improved its relations with the community extensively. This is true, to a point, but it was an odd article especially after the crime surge that took place on campus this fall. The article read:

Today, Penn is the among the hottest schools in the country — sitting smack in the middle of a clean and vital retail neighborhood where crime has been reduced by 49 percent in the past decade, and where students swarm the streets shopping at upscale stores. Penn has jumped in the U.S. News & World Report college rankings to No. 4 and attracts significantly more applicants — successes that school administrators attribute in large part to Penn’s “West Philadelphia Initiative.”

And, just Sunday morning — when yours truly was in West Philadelphia no less — this happened:

Engineering sophomore Mari Oishi was shot at about 2:45 a.m. this morning near 38th and Sansom streets.

Whoo! Nothing bad ever happens at Penn!

Urban Colleges Learn to be Good Neighbors [WaPo]
Penn student shot at 38th, Sansom [Daily Pennsylvanian]
Jan 10: Fun with juxtaposition, university edition