Phillies Trade 3 Prospects For Fat Pitcher

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Yes, the Phillies traded for Joe Blanton yesterday, sending three awesome prospects including Josh Outman, the best named player ever. Okay, I don’t know if they are awesome prospects, really, but this is Philadelphia, and we are negative.

Blanton has a 4.96 ERA, but think of the problem once he discovers Philadelphia cheesesteaks. Many a fat pitcher has become a fat, out-of-shape pitcher once they’ve hit Philadelphia. As you can see from my simple math above, Joe Blanton plus Philadelphia cheesesteaks equals a really heavy pitcher with a poorly Photoshopped Phillies logo on him.

What’s great about this trade is not too many Phillies fans have seen these prospects, but pretty much everyone everywhere hates it.

On the plus side, well, the Mets won their 10th straight yesterday, eliminating a 5.5 game deficit in just 13 days. The teams are tied for first; the Phillies play the Marlins tonight in Miami. Oh, boy, the second half of the season will surely be slow and painful, no matter how it ends up.

Phillies Pitching Prospect: Out Man!

The Phillies have four starters set for this season: Cole Hamels, Brett Myers, Kyle Kendrick and Jamie Moyer. After that, though, it’s anybody’s best guess. So the Daily News asks who this year’s surprise pitcher will be. (What if there isn’t one?)

The Phillies, though, do have a Pitcher named Josh Outman. The 23-year-old had a 2.45 ERA at Clearwater last year and a 4.50 ERA at Reading. He’s only been pitching conventionally three years, having previously used an unconventional style his father taught him.

The Fritz Outman Pitching Style is way too complicated to explain:

The delivery, awkward in its appearance, begins with the pitcher raising his arm vertically with the ball, then bending it behind his head — seemingly touching his opposite shoulder. The pitcher then pivots his front foot, beginning his follow-through with a “walking step” forward. There is no leg kick as with conventional mechanics.

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