Presidential Election Distracting U.S.

While Byrne says the toy industry is typically “recession-resistant,” this year also has the presidential election, which could distract some shoppers, and five fewer shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas than last year.

According to this Associated Press article on toys and the recession, the presidential election will distract our nation enough to cause fewer toys to be sold this Christmas. That means a drop in tax revenue, a loss of jobs and pretty soon we’ll look up and notice Iraq has invaded and taken over the United States.

Why do Barack Obama and John McCain hate America? That can be the only reason they continue to keep this election going instead of just having it, say, tomorrow. Please? Can we please have it tomorrow just so it ends? C’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?

Anti-McCain Letters Sent To Northeast Philly Residents

Hey, it looks like somebody in the Great Northeast is having a little fun with McCain supporters. Or maybe it’s a McCain supporter sneak attack! Ohh, the possibilities are endless. But here’s the story:

Some Northeast residents who have signs on their lawns expressing support for John McCain have received letters in the mail accusing them of being racists.

McCain, a white Republican senator from Arizona, faces Democrat Barack Obama, a biracial senator from Illinois.

The printed letter reads, in part, “You white racist that sign is offensive. You make sure you vote for Mr. Barack Obama. Get use to a black house in Washington.”

The letter tells the residents to move if they think blacks make the city look bad and that anyone supporting McCain is “a loser, a racist and a sinner.”

“Mr. Barack Obama is the man. It is our time our city our country. So just move racist. Anyway your vote does not count. Obama got it!”

Well, at least the letter got the part about your vote not counting correct.

Local mom has a brush with Sarah Palin [Northeast Times]
Photo by NCinDC used under a Creative Commons license

The Debate Is On!

As you’ve probably heard by now, John McCain will show up at tonight’s debate, as he’s fixed the economy and has some time before bed tonight. Phew. That was a close one.

Sarah Palin. To Watch Debate. At Irish Pub.

Art from Foobooz passes along this information, another in a recent string of events in Philadelphia that are just so perfect it’s like somebody’s planting news stories for local bloggers to make jokes about.

So, yes, the headline is correct: Sarah Palin is tentatively watching the debate at Irish Pub tomorrow night. If you need to ask which one, just think: Which one could attract a crowd that would vote for John McCain, and which one is in the Gayborhood?

Fox 29 reports Palin is currently in “an unspecified location in our area.” Pat Burrell will, unfortunately, be unable to attend the Irish Pub soiree, as the Phils have a game. Oh, Burrell/Irish Pub jokes never get old.

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse [Foobooz]

Oh, Hey, Sorry…

… I lost track of time while getting together a big long post about the Alycia Lane lawsuit and making wacky photoshops that will probably one day end up on the blog. But apparently, the presidential election has been canceled by John McCain.

No, seriously, look at Philly.com’s front page right now:

See? We’re just going to end up with four more years of Bush, I’d bet. Let the conspiracy theories start now.

I love the poll; the evidence that somebody at Philly.com wants McCain in the white house is mounting with each new ridiculous poll. Of course it’s a political action, even if McCain could fix the economy by flying over Washington and dropping $100 bills to unemployed i-bankers it would be a political action. And if John McCain offered to give me a certain amount of money I would totally vote for him. (My vote costs $2 mil, Johnny, but I’m willing to negotiate.)

But, uhm, he’s running for president! Everything he says or does is a political ploy hoping to get some voter to pick McCain. And, uhm, he isn’t going home to be with his sick puppy, though I hope that’s the next stunt pulled by either him or Obama. Whatever action the government takes will most certainly be just as horrible with McCain as without him. I guess he wants the debate delayed, most importantly, because lots of successful government action gets done on Friday nights. I can only wait for McCain’s next attack ad, though: “When the economy was in crisis, Barack Obama wanted to debate the issues rather than return to Washington.”

I’m glad U.S. Senators are absolutely forbidden from doing work on the road, or talking on the phone, or using the Internet. Geeze, I can blog from, say, 150 different places in Center City alone, but one has to return to Washington. I know that Senators still communicate via telegram, but unless McCain is digging up Lincoln’s gold himself, it seems kind of ridiculous.

Arlen Specter Tired Of This Crap

I just want to find Jessica Griffin right now and thank her for this photo in today’s paper (and currently on the front of Philly.com). There’s John McCain and Sarah Palin, apparently doing a cheerleader routine. (Either that, or Palin doesn’t know how to signal touchdown.) Then there’s ol’ Arlen Specter, the only man in America older than John McCain, looking like he just wants to go home and bitch about politics for a while. I can only imagine his thoughts. “I’ve been a politician since the Depression and she gets to be vice president because she hunted a few moose?”

Or maybe he just wants to get this over with so everyone’s Facebook status messages go back to being regular annoying instead of 2008 election annoying.

Update: Oh, I almost forgot, Sen. Specter even appeared much more gracious when he had to deal with a question about the North American Union and the new “amero” currency. I’m going to print this photo out and hang it on my wall.

John McCain’s Mom Now A Pennsylvanian

Of all the strange things about this election — the Democrats running a black dude, the Republicans possibly being victorious, etc. — the strangest part might be this: John McCain, the oldest man since Abraham, has a living parent.

Yes, Roberta McCain is a spry 96, and she’s still out there kicking it on the campaign trail. Very impressive, I must say. And since she’s in good health, she’s resorted to the same kind of cliches usually reserved for Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton!

This morning, 96 year old Mrs. John McCain spoke to the PA delegation at breakfast. She told us the story about living in the Walnut Street Hotel in Philadelphia in 1941 at the beginning of World War II. She asked the PA Delegation is she could be considered a Pennsylvania resident. The PA delegation wholeheartedly agreed.

Oh, I see where this is going. Once that carpetbagger gets declared a Pennsylvania resident, she’ll run against Arlen Specter in the primary for his Senate seat in 2010, and, really, who’s going to vote against a 98-year-old woman? Then, suddenly, we have a brand new Sen. McCain in Congress.

Mrs. McCain speaks to PA delegation [Pennsylvania Avenue via Keystone Politics]
Thanks, Alli!

McCain, Candidate Of The Teenyboppers

Who is the celebrity candidate with all the adoring fans? Stop before you say Barack Obama. Some of McCain’s adoring fans lined up in York like it was 1999 and McCain was N’Sync.

First in line this morning were Beckie Rineholt of Jackson Township and Emily Saare of Red Lion, who said they woke at 4 a.m. to get good seats.

“We’re both supporters of McCain and we wanted to see him in person,” Rineholt said.

Both are 17 and will be voting in November for the first time.

(I’ll leave you to go find their Myspace photos; I deleted my account last week.)

Yes, that’s ol’ John McCain, attracting the teenyboppers from all parts of York County. Reinholt, the story notes, “said she thinks he is the candidate more likely to keep taxes down.” Exactly what taxes for jobs 18-year-olds have will John McCain be lowering in the near future?

Supporters arrive early to greet McCain [York Dispatch]

The Best Political Cartoon All Week

Signe Wilkinson’s take is pretty funny as well.

[via Blog Reload]

McCain Postpones Area Visit

In an attempt to make a throwaway morning post all that much harder, John McCain has postponed his Bucks County “town hall” meeting until Monday. Let’s hope this will give more time for people with hilarious questions to come up with them.

Scary old McCain — I saw one of his new ads on Jeopardy! I wasn’t sure if it was John McCain for President, or The Happening. will visit Worth & Company in Pipersville, Bucks County.

There is obviously a backstory here: Worth & Co. is, naturally, under investigation by the state for allegedly violating the Prevailing Wage Law, cheating its employees out of $142,000 in wages. John McCain will no doubt berate the company and its employees during his visit, and then go to Sesame Place for some kick-ass water slides.

McCain to visit area firm [The Intelligencer]
Town Hall Meeting in Pipersville, PA [JohnMcCain.com]