Curt Schilling To Annoy Us In Whole New Outlet?

Used to be, avoiding being annoyed by Curt Schilling was pretty easy. All you had to do was not watch post-game Red Sox interviews and don’t play the PC game Everquest. But, no, Schilling wasn’t content with that. No, he has to go and try to make sure that every American is annoyed by him no matter how much they try to avoid him.

Now there’s a possibility of Curt Schilling running for John Kerry’s Senate seat. A group of Massachusetts residents are starting a drive to draft Schilling to run in the 2008 election, in the hopes of finding out just who the American people are annoyed by more. (It should be pretty close. Remember, Curt Schilling is “a horse’s ass the other four days” but John Kerry did lose to President Bush — President Bush! — in an election.)

Anyway, let’s hope this election does take place. It might open up a black hold of annoyance over all of New England, saving us from having to hear about Schilling, Kerry and the New England Patriots ever again.

Editor’s Note: Apparently, Curt Schilling saying he might vote for Barack Obama is “patronizing,” according to Will Bunch. Curt Schilling doesn’t care about black people!

UPDATED: The Next Kerry Swift Boater…Curt Schilling? [Attytood]

Bob Brady To Channel Adlai Stevenson, Al Smith, William Jennings Bryan In Next Campaign Speech

Bob Brady apparently wants everyone to know that not only can he win the race for mayor, but he can do it even while channeling losers.

The Inquirer’s Michael Currie Schaffer writes that Brady’s announcement speech contained a few lines that had been used before:

When Bob Brady announced his mayoral candidacy on Thursday by declaring that “help is on the way,” veterans of past Democratic campaigns may have felt a sense of deja vu. The line was the key refrain of John Kerry’s 2004 acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention and a constant theme in the campaign that followed.

And the very next line of Brady’s speech - “I’m Bob Brady, and I’m running for mayor” - evoked an even more distant Democratic standard-bearer. In 1976, a little-known Georgia politician introduced himself to voters by traveling the country declaring, “I’m Jimmy Carter, and I’m running for president.”

The Brady campaign says the lines were merely coincidental, but I can’t help but think that channeling John Kerry and Jimmy Carter — even accidentally — isn’t the best idea for a candidate who wants to, y’know, win.

Echoes of the past in Brady’s present [Inquirer]

John Kerry: Possibly Correct, Still An Idiot

Hey, remember John Kerry? Big guy, got Botox, lost to Bushie in the election? Yeah, that guy. Well, he was supposed to come speak at a rally for Bob Casey, and now he’s canceling all of his appearances because he said soldiers are dumb. Or that poor people fight wars. Or something.

Here’s what the furor is over:

The furor was triggered over Kerry’s comment to a group of California students on Monday, that people unable to succeed in America’s educational system would likely “get stuck in Iraq.”

Kerry says it was a botched joke, the people in the White House say Kerry is worse than Satan and the soldiers in Iraq continue to not know about this brouhaha because they’re actually fighting and dying while politicians fight over what some other politician said while the troops are like, “Uhh, hello, we could use some helmets or something? Guys? Hello?”

Anyway uh, don’t we send poor people to fight wars? Don’t poor people tend to be less educated? Who’s the last soldier to come out of Yale, John Kerry? (Okay, okay.) Anyway, if you do good in school, aren’t you less likely to join the military because you can’t get a job somewhere else? You still might join the military — and I think the military is, on the whole, more educated than a random sampling of the public, which makes sense — but not in a Hobson’s choice situation. And so you’d, indeed, “be stuck in Iraq” because you didn’t succeed in school?

I don’t know. Perhaps that’s what John Kerry was really trying to say, or perhaps he really thinks troops are dumb. Perhaps he eats babies at night. But it’s a big news story! Because bloggers are talking about it! And so we fight over whether he thinks troops are dumb and see who can moralize the best and act all holier than thou on their keyboards. Oh, please, we are so close to the election, thank you so much.

Kerry Cancels Philly Visit Amidst Controversy [CBS 3]