Guiliani No Longer Cheesesteak Idol

From the Dept. of People I Am Jealous Of (be flattered!) comes the above video, done by PW’s own Cassidy Hartmann, who I occasionally yell stupid jokes over the cubicle wall at. Cassidy is the Pennsylvania correspondent — unfortunately, they apparently call it a “Street Team rep” — for MTV’s get-young-people-to-vote web thingy.

In this video, Rudy 9u11ani is airing a new campaign ad in Florida broadcast in Spanish even though he appeared at Geno’s Steaks with Joey “Speak English” Vento. He’s not happy about it, and it’s totally worth watching the whole thing, ig only to see Joey Vento refrain from saying “That’s bullshit” on camera.

She’s going to be doing this through the election, and you should be able to follow her here. Huzzah.

Hey Look, That Dude From 9/11 Was At Geno’s

Oh, man, look the cheesesteak guy endorsed him. The guy who makes cheesesteaks at Geno’s endorsed him. Forget the “Speak-a English” sign, that the endorsement of a cheesesteak maker would help shows this country is doomed, no matter who gets elected president.

Rudy visits Philly [YouTube]

Geno’s Story Rises From Grave Again

It seems that every time I’ve just about forgotten about Joey Vento and his “Speak English” sign it comes roaring back with a vengeance.

The newest foible is the revelation by a poster on DailyKos that Joe Vento doesn’t use American beef! Yes, Vento’s cuts of beef speak Spanish before they’re slaughtered and shipped to America. They come from Uruguay, and therefore are cheaper for Vento and for you, the consumer, so it’s a smart business move, blah blah blah.

But, with Vento’s “This is America, speak English” sign — as well as one that says “LEGAL = WELCOME; ILLEGAL = LEAVE” — it’s quite amusing, of course.

Also amusing? The Inquirer’s Michael Klein, reporting on the DailyKos post, lets us know that the beef is probably Vento’s only immigrant product:

It’s likely that the rest of Geno’s ingredients are American. Much lettuce and tomatoes come from California and Florida, onions from the Northwest - though perhaps picked by migrant farmworkers. Canola oil is pressed in the Midwest. And then there’s Cheez Whiz, which no foreign land can claim.

But what about provolone? What about provolone?!

More Fun in Philly With “English-Only” Geno’s Cheesesteaks! [Daily Kos]
Geno’s lets beef moo in Spanish [Inquirer]
Archives: Geno’s

Joe Vento, America’s Expert On Everything

Man, those Metro staffers know everything. After yesterday’s Metro/Roots mashup, a different staffer of the free daily let us know yesterday afternoon about a special guest on television:

You must turn on Fox News..Joey Vento’s talking about Tom Cruise…Huh?

But of course. Isn’t Tom Cruise an illegal immigrant?

If anyone saw this and either has video or any description of it, please let us know.

Vento Donates To ESL Program, Wants People To Know He Doesn’t Really Want People To Learn English

The Bensalem Rotary Club was looking for fundraisers for an English as a Second Language program they were funding recently, and one fellow laughed that they should ask Joe Vento, owner of Geno’s Steaks, for money.

Rotary member Stvee Moran, however, didn’t take this as a joke, and drove down to South Philly (all the way from Bensalem!) to order a pizza steak (in English) and ask if Vento would donate to the program. He spoke with Diana Vergagni, Vento’s sister-in-law, who handles much of the charity work of the Geno’s owner.

And, hey, what do you know, the next day a check for $200 was in the mail. Good for Vento et al. But in case you were wondering, well, he doesn’t really care:

“We don’t go looking to donate money to people who want to teach people English,” [Vergagni] said. “He just basically donates to Rotary clubs and anything for kids. It’s just a coincidence. He’s not promoting to have courses to teach English.”

Phew. We thought he might actually be interested in teaching people English for a minute there.

Geno’s donates to ESL program [Bucks County Courier Times]
Archives: Geno’s

Santorum Adds Immigrants To Already Impressive List Of Phobias

Last night, everyone’s favorite senator, Rick Santorum, made an impromptu appearance at — where else? — Geno’s.

Here’s what ol’ Ricky told the Daily News after his visit:

“It makes all the sense in the world to have a sign like this,” he told a Daily News reporter after the paper was tipped off to his late-night visit. “There’s not really an extensive menu here. I mean, come on, it’s cheesesteaks, onions, et cetera. It’s not that hard.”

If it’s not that hard, WHY DO YOU NEED A SIGN? What’s that you say? The sign has nothing to do with ordering in English and everything to do with Joe Vento’s displeasure with Mexican immigrants replacing Italian immigrants in South Philly? No! You lie!

In plain English, Rick backs Vento [Daily News]
Archives: Geno’s

That’s It, Jill Porter, You’re On The List

AAAAARGH! NO MORE!

Jill Porter: The Geno’s Debate Should Continue [Daily News]
Nixon’s Enemies List [Wikipedia]

Geno’s! Geno’s! Geno’s!

You know how every once in a while somebody will see the Virgin Mary in a sandwich or oil stain or something, and thousands of people will flock to the stain and pray to it and shit? Yeah. This is stupider.

Be sure, though, to check out the discussion on one of the Joe Vento posts here. That also might be stupider.

The world weighs in on Geno’s sign [Inky]
May 30: Press 1 For Asshole

Leftovers: King Of The CEOs

• I’ve never heard of the Elmwood Park Zoo in Norristown, but now I want to go, just because of its intense CEO (left), Rafael Suarez. [Elmwood Park Zoo]

• Now that I have your attention, be sure to check out Liz Spikol’s Top 10 Mental Health Tips, which is so official it gets capital letters. Number 1 is exercise. [The Trouble With Spikol]

• Despite Big Ben’s injury, Gov. Ed Rendell stands by his signing of the helmet law repeal three years ago. [KYW 1060]

• Will Bunch sez the helmet law is a good idea, because head injuries cost taxpayer money. Now that’s a language anyone can understand! [Attytood]

• Speaking of that, this Joe Vento thing just won’t die. But you knew that. [Inky]

NBC 10 Tugs At Our Primal Urges

The current top four stories on NBC 10’s website:

Those primal urges, of course, are sex and cheesesteaks.

NBC 10