Phillies Rally On Game Keys

Tonight’s Built Ford Tough Keys to the Game:

Phillies: Use last night as rallying point.

Dodgers: Food tastes better at home.

The Phillies rallied so much from last night they opened the game with three straight hits. After Chase Utley’s RBI double, Ryan Howard grounded out to put in another run.

Fat Joe gave up a couple of hits, but the Fightins are still ahead, 2-1. Let’s hope they can continue to make the Dodgers eat horrible cooking in Los Angeles.

Phillies Trade 3 Prospects For Fat Pitcher

Click to enlarge.

Yes, the Phillies traded for Joe Blanton yesterday, sending three awesome prospects including Josh Outman, the best named player ever. Okay, I don’t know if they are awesome prospects, really, but this is Philadelphia, and we are negative.

Blanton has a 4.96 ERA, but think of the problem once he discovers Philadelphia cheesesteaks. Many a fat pitcher has become a fat, out-of-shape pitcher once they’ve hit Philadelphia. As you can see from my simple math above, Joe Blanton plus Philadelphia cheesesteaks equals a really heavy pitcher with a poorly Photoshopped Phillies logo on him.

What’s great about this trade is not too many Phillies fans have seen these prospects, but pretty much everyone everywhere hates it.

On the plus side, well, the Mets won their 10th straight yesterday, eliminating a 5.5 game deficit in just 13 days. The teams are tied for first; the Phillies play the Marlins tonight in Miami. Oh, boy, the second half of the season will surely be slow and painful, no matter how it ends up.