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Leftovers: Is the Pizza Pope Catholic?

022706redpanda.jpg • Hey kids! Want the opportunity to (1) make more money than I do and (2) get poked fun at on this website at least once a week? Metro is hiring! [JournalismJobs.com]

Kevin Smith is coming to speak at Penn! And what he is known for, according to the campus paper: “His films are also known for for sexual references and graphic displays of bodily functions.” Indeed! [Daily Pennsylvanian]

• Fearing the success of Marley & Me will put America’s CQ (Cuteness Quotient) at levels that the Chinese could not ever match, the nation opens a panda kindergarten. [Reuters]

• Ahh, but America returns the cuteness volley: Red pandas doing online dating! That means that, despite having both tried online dating, the red panda Fagan is leading me, 1-0, in number of dates. But how can I be mad when the little buggers are so cute! [6 ABC]

• The official mascot of the NCAA, J.J. Jumper, caused $6,500 worth of damage to the Columbia student TV station’s equipment when he accidentally backflipped into it. Sadly, this is probably the highlight of the year for the Columbia athletic department. [Columbia Daily Spectator]

• Earlier today I admired Bode Miller’s use of the Olympics as simply a two-week party. Now it’s time to admire the rich. Mark Cuban is offering a million dollars for charity if Donald Trump blows up a rubber glove with his nose on For Love or Money tonight. Make it $2 million for Trump to put on the J.J. Jumper costume and you could probably get elected president, Mark. [Blog Maverick via Deadspin]

• Will the day soon be coming when bloggers accept oral sex for linking new products? I’m a little easier than that. Really, all you have to do is laugh at my jokes and I’ll write whatever you want. [Jeremy Zawodny]

• The founder of Domino’s Pizza — the “Pizza Pope” — is planning the first “Catholics only” town in the U.S. No abortion, no fornication, no contraception, &c. And, on Tuesdays, Jesus’ blood is three goblets for $7 and comes with a free side of consecrated cheesy bread! [The Sunday Times]