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Jun
27
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Jill Porter: Hey, look, it’s a sarcastic (and incredibly annoying) column on the Supreme Court DC gun ban ruling!
Christine Flowers: Hey, look, it’s a sarcastic (and incredibly annoying) column on the Supreme Court DC gun ban ruling with the added bonus of a random attack on contraception.
Elmer Smith: This column shows some staggering statistics in the number of people in this city who won’t graduate high school. Sad, even. So let’s just quote the headline and make fun of it: “Can bureaucracies together stem dropout tide?” Umm, I’m going to have to guess: No.
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dmac | 8:49 AM | 0 Comments
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Jun
25
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Jill Porter: “Gossiping about Alycia Lane and Larry Mendte is no longer fun now that serious accusations have overshadowed the giddy scandal.” What, reading someone’s email? I mean, yeah, that’s a shitty thing to do, but it’s not like Larry Mendte put a gun to anyone’s head. This wouldn’t even make for a good episode of Gossip Girl.
John Baer: The drug companies don’t want Pennsylvania to spend less on prescription drug costs, so it’s not going to happen. No $100 million savings for us!
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dmac | 8:42 AM | 0 Comments
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Jun
20
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Elmer Smith: He thinks your vote matters.
Jill Porter: Hey, apparently — and I know this is kinda wild — people have the right to protest police procedures without being detained by the police.
Dave Davies: Ha ha, here’s a whole column about how L&I never comes out for anything but did come out for these protesters of police brutality. It’s probably my favorite column by anyone so far this year.
Okay, besides that Christine Flowers column where she defended police brutality and then the next week claimed no one defended police brutality.
Christine Flowers: If you vote for president on any issue besides the Supreme Court, you’re wrong, stupid! Anyway, Flowers thinks the federal government should be able to lock up anyone it chooses for no reason. Are you surprised?
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dmac | 8:18 AM | 0 Comments
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Jun
18
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John Baer: Yes, it’s John Baer doing his “there won’t be any reform, this is Pennsylvania” shtick again. It’s okay because it’s true, though.
Jill Porter: Yes, channel your fury over someone you didn’t know about until the other day “getting off easy.” Add it to your already-outraged plate.
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dmac | 7:31 AM | 0 Comments
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Jun
13
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Christine Flowers: Grrar, I want the state to kill people for me!
Jill Porter: It’s a heartwarming story, Father’s Day edition!
Elmer Smith: The DRPA is going to raise tolls because it gives away all its money to stupid causes. Also, I like Elmer Smiths’s censored tagline: “Send e-ma*l to sm*thel@ph*llynews.com or call 215-854-2512. For recent columns: http://go.ph*lly.com/sm*th.”
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dmac | 9:34 AM | 1 Comment
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Jun
11
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Jill Porter: Ha ha, Jill Porter has damned someone not only to hell, but to a certain section of hell, in her column today. Uh, what?
John Baer: Hey, let’s completely change the way America picks a president.
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dmac | 9:44 AM | 0 Comments
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Jun
6
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Jill Porter: If you’re a Clinton supporter who won’t vote for Obama you should kill yourself. That’s really what she writes. This is my favorite Jill Porter column ever.
Elmer Smith: Ooh, a recollection of a 1983 boxing match opens this column.
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dmac | 8:55 AM | 1 Comment
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Jun
5
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Wednesday
Jill Porter: There has never been a more complicated issue in the history of mankind than Rick’s Steaks leaving the Reading Terminal Market.
John Baer: It’s about Obama, and it’s pretty good I guess.
Thursday
Dave Davies: We now have a strict deadline from the Daily News for the mayor to stop taking advantage of a loophole in the city’s campaign finance laws.
Stu Bykofsky: Stu thinks Bonnie & Clyde should get more than 5 years in prison. Also, he is starting to write awesome endings in every single column.
Maybe the best punishment Bonnie & Clyde got was the public exposure and humiliation.
Thank you, Regina Medina.
Ronnie Polaneczky: This is a column that namedrops other Daily News columnists. Not just at the end this time. Throughout.
Michael Smerconish: Smerconish was quoted by Bill Clinton in a press release! “Independent observers continue to praise President Clinton’s abilities on the stump: ‘I have always said that Bill Clinton is still par excellence among all of them .’”
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dmac | 9:47 AM | 0 Comments
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May
30
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Christine Flowers: Hey, apparently “not allowing atheists and gays in your group” is “fighting back against political correctness.” Flowers leaves out of this column a part about how the local Boy Scout council had to rescind their nondiscrimination policy due to the national group, but, hey, she’s trying to make a point. Gotta leave out those facts that don’t support the cause!
Elmer Smith: Yes, let’s help the homeless, especially the ones with mental illness.
Jill Porter: The city has owned a camp in East Stroudsburg since the 1950s. Now it’s closing, apparently.
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dmac | 8:56 AM | 12 Comments
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May
28
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Jill Porter: Ahh, the Daily News informs us once again how easy it is in this city to steal a house and how nobody ever bothers to investigate. Maybe the city will attempt to fix this sometime in the near future? Maybe Nutter could pass some new laws and have the National House-Stealing Association challenge them in court.
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dmac | 8:33 AM | 0 Comments
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