Stupid Newsletter Editor Fired

The University Village Apartment complex near Temple sent out its newsletter earlier this month with a little April Fool’s Day poem on the backside.

But whoops! The poem contained the line “Extinct are the Jews,” and now somebody has been fired at University Village. As CBS 3’s Jamie Smith reported, “The newsletter offended many at the apartment complex.” Gee, you think?

Video after the jump. (Note: Yes, Redlasso clips crash some browsers still, and that’s why I keep embedding them after the jump. I apparently hadn’t posted this warning before; sorry about that.)

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Jews Take Time Out From Controlling The World’s Money Supply To Complain About ‘PW’ Cover

When PW’s Holiday Guide came out two weeks ago, you might have just thought to yourself, “Eh, I’m not much of a hamster guy, but that’s fairly cute.” Or maybe you said, “Hey, D-Mac finally got off his ass and did some writing.” But it turns out the holiday ode to cuteness wasn’t cute at all. It was offensive.

Yes, PW’s cover pissed off some Jews who felt it was similar to the Nazis. And if making me invoke Godwin wasn’t enough, well, here, you read it:

“Where did your art director receive her training?” wrote Solomon Moses in an angry letter he sent to PW and then forwarded to the Exponent. “At the Heinrich Himmler Academy of Design?”

It’s amazing how much funny shit is in this article.

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Augustus Finally Holds Second Census

Wait, so is this like the foreshadowing of the second coming? Or is it something more nefarious?

Federation asks Jews to be counted [Morning Call]

Worst Corn Maze Ever

Hey, know what’s a good thing to do around Rosh Hashana? Well, hell, I don’t know, I’m not Jewish. But I do know something that’s not all that nice to do: Cut a giant swastika into ground!

Yes, the swastika at right was hand-cut into a corn field in Washington Township in Mercer County recently and was discovered by a helicopter pilot on a “routine maintenance mission.” A routine maintenance mission for what? To check for swastikas carved into cornfields? Because that would be a pretty hot job.

Anyway, people are blaming stupid punk kids or possibly racists. But police aren’t expected to find the culprits because the news media fucked it up:

The attention directed to the site by news helicopters, however, may have led people to trample evidence, which could hamper their investigation[.]

Huh? Did people think it was a corn maze? Please, Corn mazes are only carved into cool things, like Gerald Ford.

Police Find Swastika Cut Into Acres Of N.J. Cornfield [NBC 10]
Police Investigating Giant Swastika Carved Into New Jersey Cornfield [Fox News]

Rendell: Without New SEPTA Funding, We Will Have Flooding For 27 Days And 27 Nights

SEPTA met yesterday to pass a budget, and Ed Rendell decided he needed to quote Lord of the Rings to show how serious this is:

“A day may come when the courage of men fails!” Rendell’s Aragorn told a startled-looking SEPTA board of directors. “But it is not this day! This day, we fight!”

Later, Rendell went even further back in written history by quoting the Bible, although he got the number of apostles confused with the number of pieces of silver Judas betrayed Jesus for:

“Don’t let them buy you off for 12 pieces of silver!” Rendell said, abandoning “Lord of the Rings” for his own interpretation of Judas’ betrayal price, which was actually 30 pieces of silver.

“Dig your heels in!” Rendell exclaimed. “Hold your ground!”

I’m a little unclear as to who, exactly, is betraying whom here, but one can only assume this will culminate in the crucifixion of someone or something, most likely SEPTA. Transfers? Who needs transfers?

Guv urges SEPTA board: ‘Don’t settle!’ [Daily News]

Barack Obama Attempting New Campaign Tactic

Barack Obama is mixing the old and the new in this area today. One, he’s frolicking around New Jersey trying to get the AFL/CIO to support him and chillin’ with Newark’s mayor.

Two, he’s renaming a local Jewish school after himself:

Akiba Hebrew Academy has received a $5 million gift from the Barrack Foundation. That will result in a change in name from Akiba to the Barrack Hebrew Academy.

Oh, watch out, St. Hillary’s.

Obama To Visit New Jersey [CBS 3]
Mainline Hebrew School Will Change Its Name [KYW 1060]

Fumo Puts Trust In Ancient Way Of Studying Jewish Texts / Annoying Fad Among Celebrities Two Or So Years Ago

Dan Gross reports today that Vince Fumo isn’t just putting all his trust in lawyer-to-the-rich and indicted / Queensbury rules boxer Richard Sprague.

While meeting with Angie Everhart — duh — Vince Fumo was spotted wearing a Kabbalah bracelet. Kabbalah, if you didn’t know, is an ancient Jewish mystic tradition that’s popular with Madonna for some reason.

The bracelet was a gift from Rabbi Solomon Isaacson, of Congregation Beth Solomon in the Northeast. The rabbi gave Fumo the bracelet on Feb. 6 in Harrisburg just before Fumo delivered a speech denouncing federal prosecutors who leveled a 139-count indictment at him the next day. The bracelet is meant to ward off evil, says Isaacson, who has also given one to Mayor Street.

Fumo’s spokesman, Gary Tuma, said Friday that the senator “hopes it brings him good luck.”

With Vince Fumo now wearing a Kabbalah bracelet, it’s only time before he attempts to include other celebrity trends in his defense. I’ll be looking soon for Skylar Fumo, adopted directly from a poor family in Malawi.

Dan Gross | Fumo’s good-luck charm [Daily News]

Lead Of The Day, Chosen People Edition

In Hebrew, rabbi means “teacher.”

Rabbi adapts to new kidney [Camden Courier-Post]

If Shitty Bands Can’t Stop Genocide, Who Can?

Penn student and online Daily Pennsylvanian columnist Stephen Morse went to a rally against the Darfur genocide recently and posted about it on the DP’s blog.

Morse was shocked — shocked! — that the rally was mainly attended by rich priviliged people who had the time to attend the rally. And he blasts American blacks for not attending.

My problem was the sea of white faces who were rallying in Central Park against the injustices of the Sudan. In every corner of the field I counted no more than 20 minorities among the tens of thousands of people who were packed into the park. ¶ I also observed (not scientifically, I must admit) that the majority of the crowd were Jews.

We can only assume that he went around Central Park checking to see if the males were circumsized to confirm this not scientific (he must admit!) hypothesis.

I approached each black person I saw throughout the day. The scary thing was that I saw but one person the entire day who was African-American, rather than an immigrant from Africa.

This event was a disgrace. It was not a unified America. It was a majority of Jews and some Catholics from their faith-based organizations, and a contingent of hippie liberals from Amnesty International. There were no Muslims there.

Ahh, see, he approached every black person and assumedly asked them why there weren’t more black people at the event. Way to make them feel welcome! Not sure how he checked to see if there weren’t any Muslims there, though. Maybe there was an anti-Pope rally across the street or something.

American Jews stepped up to the plate this summer to help their brothers and sisters in Israel. When will African-Americans do the same for their brothers and sisters in Darfur?

Well, at least he didn’t write “brothas and sistas.”

After an imam gave a speech Morse didn’t like, it appeared that he’d get some salvation for the rest of the afternoon. Unfortunately…

Not even a performance by OAR to end the event could help the crowd overcome such harsh and dismal words.

You see, people? OAR is against genocide! Why didn’t you get your free $15 bus from your Ivy League university’s Hillel to attend?

Barely a dark face in the crowd [The Spin]
Editor’s Note: This is headline is approaching “He lost a toe, but gained a thumb” status.
Update, 10:00 a.m.: Fixed (1) the bus cost $15 and (2) Morse’s first name.

Despite The Constant War Instigation, Gibson Was BFF With Penn Girl

The New York Daily News reports today on… Mel Gibson! Yes, in case you haven’t tired of the incessant coverage of Mel’s drunken, anti-Semitic tirade, there is — surprise! — more in the paper today.

The NYDN does, though, have a look into Mel’s personal life while he was filming Signs way back in 2001:

Some of Mel Gibson’s best friends are Jewish - and sexy.

Malibu cops have said the Oscar winner spewed vile anti-Semitic bile during his drunken-driving arrest last week. But we hear the “Braveheart” star couldn’t have been nicer to a fetching 23-year-old University of Pennsylvania grad student in 2001, when he was filming M. Night Shyamalan’s “Signs” in Philadelphia.

Sources say the 50-year-old married father of seven was seen around town with the Jewish brunette, and even visited her apartment.

Yesterday, the woman, now 27 and married, downplayed their friendship, telling us, “We happened to be in a couple of places together.”

Wow! He liked a young, pretty Jewish girl from Penn? Just another reason to believe that lust is stronger than all prejudices.

Some Jews are Mel’s chosen ones [NYDN]
Related: Dan Gross had this Wednesday, too