My Fave Eagles Story Of The Day

It’s hard reading Eagles stories the day after a disappointing loss — and, for the most part, I’ve just been skimming — but this is a story I read all the way through. Using the popular “traded emails” format, we learn that, indeed, the Eagles were not any easier to watch in Iraq than in Philadelphia. Or Arizona, for that matter.

But, you know, maybe the only appropriate place for Eagles fans to watch that game was in a war zone.

It did not look any better from Iraq [Inquirer]

Meghan McCain Will Soon Have 2 More Published Books Than You Do

John McCain’s daughter, Meghan, was recently in Philadelphia stumping for dear old dad. She also stopped by McCain’s Bucks County headquarters and revealed her plan for literary world domination:

Meghan, who bears a striking resemblance to her mother, Cindy, recently authored a children’s book, “My Dad, John McCain,” and plans to write a satirical account of her campaign experiences after next month’s election.

She described the experience of watching her younger brother, Jimmy, deploy to Iraq two years ago as “a big motivator” to begin stumping with her father and to begin writing her blog.

Typical reaction, actually: Seeing a younger sibling go to war frequently causes the urge to blog. Seriously, go look it up. Anyway, I certainly cannot wait for her satirical account of the election. Ooh, maybe she can then write a couple episodes of Futurama like Al Gore’s daughter!

Meghan McCain stumps for dad [Bucks County Courier Times]

Four out of Five Agree: Larry Mendte Should Rot in Jail

PW’s own sister paper South Philly Review has it on good authority that the common man wants to see Larry Mendte go to jail. From Lauren Shumacher of Broad and Jackson streets.

“…he deserves five years, and that’s being lenient.”

That is too lenient, Lauren. I say stockades or bust.

Meanwhile, this guy got off easy: he only has to spend a year in Iraq. Hey! Maybe we can send Larry Mendte to Iraq, too. That ought to teach him not to look at someone’s email again!

Word on the Street [South Philly Review]
Guilty of beating at Phillies game, National Guardsman opts for tour in Iraq [Daily News]

Troops In Danger Of Consuming Fake KFC

The crack morning show team at Fox & Friends reported last week on a KFC now open in Fallujah. For some reason the U.S. military reported on the opening of a branch of the fried chicken chain, instead of some sort of company spokesperson. Anyway, the opening of a fried chicken restaurant in Fallujah meant that Iraqi citizens were no longer killing each other and were doing their killing the American way: To themselves, by clogging their arteries.

Anywho, it turns out the KFC in Fallujah is an unauthorized knockoff, as if you hadn’t already guessed. (Why else would I be writing about it?) TPMMuckraker got this comment from a KFC spokeschicken:

I understand you wanted some details about the store in Falluja that looks like a KFC. This store is not approved by KFC International and we have [been] working with the US Military to warn the troops of this situation.

Yes, please warn the troops immediately! We wouldn’t want them eating chicken not up to the colonel’s usual standards.

I also enjoyed this little bit at the end of the article:

We’ve also called the number of the faux KFC itself, but no one at the restaurant seems to speak English.

Gee, nobody seems to speak English at the bootleg KFC in Fallujah? I think they’re just stonewalling, scared of the muckraking about to take place. Someone will get to the bottom of this.

KFC In Fallujah? Too Finger-Licking Good To Be True [TPMMuckraker]

Dead Dogs, Bad Cops & Thieving City Workers

Obligatory first sentence about media attention paid to Alycia Lane followed by a segue into a bullet-point list of recent people committing funny crimes. KYW 1060 does the same thing but sums it up with a headline: 3 Area High Schools Affected by Unrelated Incidents.

• Philadelphia police officer Malik Snell was arrested for allegedly being the getaway man for a home invasion. See, here’s who shoulda been punched! [Daily News]

• An assistant to Donna Reed Miller was arrested for extortion. Theresa Pinkett allegedly extorted $5,000 and a cell phone in exchange for providing assistance on real estate issues while providing constituent services for Miller. So… Theresa Pinkett is basically “taxes.” [Philadelphia Business Journal]

• The Turnpike Authority dropped a lawsuit against a pair of dead motorists it sued for damage to the roadway. Blah blah outrage blah blah blah. Whatever. I want to be able to sue Barbaro and he’s dead. [Phillyburbs]

• Iraq security firm Blackwater murdered the New York Times‘ dog. OMFG now the people will finally be pissed at Blackwater, not like when they killed humans. [Wonkette]

Badgers Set Up Provisional Iraqi Government

The competition is over.

British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra.

Update: Somebody smacked some sense into me and told me I should add some of the quotes. It must be a great job when you get to say this sentence seriously.

UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: “We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.”

And I enjoy the description of the badgers as well.

“My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer,” she said. “It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey,” she told AFP.

British blamed for Basra badgers [BBC]

Today In Obvious News

Yeah, know what else is lacking? The freedom to walk down the street and not get blown up.

Mental health care lags in Iraq [Bucks Co. Courier Times]

Two Hotels In The Green Zone

The Associated Press has a nice little recap of all of Atlantic City’s political scandals today, including, our favorite, Bob Levy’s claim that he was a Green Beret, later amended to that he just wore a green beret during the war.

The newest Atlantic City scandal is another whopper that puts Philadelphia politicians to shame, frankly. A man wearing a fake beard and glasses — no, really — told Atlantic City Councilman Eugene Robinson to resign or he’d expose him; the same man later gave a tap of the councilman with a topless woman performing a sex act. The councilman says it was consensual, etc., and nobody seems to notice.

Despite Atlantic City’s problems, though, I don’t think it’s reached this level just yet:

“People in Atlantic City have no trouble understanding the political situation in Iraq. All that counts, the only way to make a living, is to be in the government,” said [former City Councilman Seth] Grossman, a lawyer who now lives in an Atlantic City suburb. “You will lie to get in, you will cheat to get in, you will set somebody else up with a prostitute to get in.”

Yep. That sounds a lot like Iraq to me! I mean, without the IEDs.

Scandals color A.C. landscape [AP/Inquirer]
Nov. 20: Green With Envy

Nostradamus, reincarnated

No way! What a prediction! Will there be sand involved?

Local Middle East Expert Warns of More Trouble in Iraq [KYW 1060]

Bush’s speech puts off another disappointing ‘Family Guy’ for about 15 minutes

Last night was Our Fearless Leader’s big ol’ speech about Iraq. It delayed my Family Guy, but I figured Bush was going to talk about, oh, you know, the illegal spying on Americans that he “authorized.” (He left that to Dick Cheney.)

And, you know, whatever. I guess I pay attention to the news a little more than Joe Average, being a quasi-media critic and all, but — come on! — Bush was talking about WMDs and how we didn’t find them but, come on, everyone thought Iraq had them. Eh? Eh? I’m sorry, Mr. Bush, but I don’t even remember what “WMD” stands for anymore. Watermelon something? Washington? No idea.

Eventually, around 9:10, Bush got to the idea that Iraq had elections and “YAY!” and everyone was smiling. He also quoted some Iraqis’ one-liners about freedom and voting after the election, which is fine, but I was kind of hoping he’d say it in the original Arabic (or whatever) first. Because could you imagine Bush trying to speak a foreign language? But, alas.

At that point I about tuned out. I did hear, though, that Bush things terrorist try to be on “the offense.” Which means terrorists have some good shooters, but they don’t play much D. So they’re kind of like the Sixers. I always knew that Allen Iverson was up to something.

In Sunday Speech, Bush Is More Humble, but Still Firm [NYT]
US Defends Decision on Domestic Eavesdropping [Reuters via NYT]
Photo by Elginite