NBC 10 Eliminates Town’s Fire Co.

Way back in 2004, NBC 10 (”The Investigators!”) broadcast a report alleging that firefighters in Colwyn, Delaware County, were operating an illegal bar, and the mayor and others were going there. Colwyn is a dry town, and Lu Ann Cahn actually said this, “Are you all above the law?” OMG IRL drama.

Then for some reason earlier this month all of Colwyn’s firefighers resigned at once. Cops also raided the “speakeasy” and killed seven members of the Hogan gang, as well as confiscating illegal video poker machines and alcohol.

Then last night the town council ended its relationship with the fire company. The head of the Colwyn Fire Co. was dramatic: “God, heaven forbid, someone gets hurt or really killed. Then it’s really going to hit the fan.” And this is also pretty much the best government plan ever:

Colwyn borough officials said the borough would have fire protection from surrounding Darby and Collingdale until they can re-open a fire company with a core of volunteer firefighters who didn’t go to the firehouse bar.

So thanks to your local media, residents of Colwyn, Pa., you no longer have a fire company. Be sure to thank NBC 10 for the service.