Dude In Funny Photo Indicted

Catherine Lucey sends news that Jack Kelly’s chief of staff has been indicted, along with three local developers. The local developers did not appear in any funny photos, however, so who cares about them?

Breaking News: Council Staffer & Developers Indicted [Clout]

Friday Morning Image Mixup Fun

And then he used the money to make himself look like Alycia Lane, like that creepy MTV show? Weird.

Yes, if you’re wondering, I used to go to this man’s masses.

D.A.: Priest from Ryan stole 900G [Daily News]

Everyone’s Defrauding The Seaport Museum Nowadays

Vince Fumo, who fired the first shot yesterday, was officially indicted on 139 counts this morning.

With 139 counts, it’s going to take a little time to get through the entire thing. (For the comedy, people. I do this for you.) But the Inquirer’s John Shiffman is already all over it, detailing a few of the more awesome charges. On the whole, Fumo is alleged to have used Senate staff for personal use (is there anyone that doesn’t do this?), defrauded a multimillion dollar charity, etc. The charges are conspiracy, fraud, obstruction of justice and filing false tax returns.

But here are the best allegations so far:

• Citizens Alliance for Better Neighborhoods — the charity Fumo created — paid for Fumo’s trips to Cuba.
• He defrauded the Independence Seaport Museum, which is a popular thing to do.
• Fumo used Citizens Alliance to form an astroturf group down the shore to block a dune replenishment program that would obscure his view.
• Used Senate funds to spy on his ex-wife, political rivals, girlfriends, etc.

I think the first one’s the best. (Well, the second one is wild because who knew the Seaport Museum had enough money for two people allegedly defraud it, too.) The idea of a state senator having his charity pay for his trips to Cuba is too awesome. Can we get Fidel Castro involved somehow, too? That’d be awesome.

Fumo Indicted on 139 Counts [AP/6 ABC]
Grand jury indicts Fumo [Inquirer]
Yesterday: Fumo Delivers Pre-Emptive Defense
Archives: Independence Seaport Museum

Fumo Delivers Pre-Emptive Defense

A day before he’s expected to be indicted, state senator Vince Fumo has lobbed a pre-emptive strike at the feds. (Ahh… what a politician.) The speech took place on the Senate floor this afternoon.

Fumo explained how he’s innocent, the charges are trumped up, blah blah blah. You know how this works. He temporarily resigned from the minority chair of the Senate Appropriations Committee, but says he’ll be back. The indictment is expected to focus on his dealings with Citizens’ Alliance for Better Neighborhoods and will most likely allege he used millions of the charity’s money for his own political and personal benefit.

So why hold a presser a day early? Easy: It lets you go first. But he also was able to, in a traditional political tactic, kinda sorta blame the media, saying he was subject to “threats, intimidation and frequent leaks to media… intended to embarrass me.”

Only one day until the official indictment, it seems. Huzzah!

Fumo: I Am Not Guilty of These Allegations [6 ABC]
“I know in my heart I have not done anything illegal” [Inquirer]

Milton Street Indicted, To Announce Mayoral Bid Soon

The mayor’s brother, Milton, has been indicted for tax evasion and corruption charges related to — what else? — his contract at PHL.

The Inquirer’s John Shiffman and Marcia Gelbart report:

.A federal grand jury alleged that after John F. Street took office in January 2000, Milton Street “began hiring himself out as a highly paid consultant to area businesses who believed that Milton Street could help them obtain business with the city of Philadelphia.”

From 2000 to 2004, Milton Street received about $2 million in consulting and other non-vending income, none of which he reported to the Internal Revenue Service, the grand jury charged. He was hired by a company called Philadelphia Airport Services to be a consultant for $30,000 a month, the grand jury said.

Milton Street was also the president of a company named Notlim, which was certified with the city’s Minority Business Enterprise Council.

Aw, Milton. What would we do without you?

Update: The Inquirer has a Flash photo gallery up of Milton Street through the years. It’s like fucking Christmas here today.

Milton Street indicted on corruption, tax charges [Inquirer]

Also, The Mayor Has Not Been Charged With Any Wrongdoing

Now that he’s done courting bloggers, our man Vince Fumo can get down to the real business at hand: Hiring some new aides.

According to KYW 1060, two of Vince Fumo’s aides are charged with widespread destruction of computer records and emails — whoops! — dating all the way back to 1999. (”But, officer, everything was wiped out by Y2K!”)

Fumo isn’t charged with anything, so he isn’t named in the indictment, but everyone’s kinda-sorta-maybe-okay-yes figured it out.

Aides charged with destroying evidence? Chillin’ with bloggers? What’s next in Mr. Fumo’s Wild Ride?! Only time will tell!

Two Aides of Pa. State Senator Fumo Indicted in Federal Corruption Probe [KYW 1060]