‘Bonnie’ Back In Town, Naturally

Philadelphia favorite Jocelyn Kirsch is in the news again, and this time, it’s actually for a reason, and not just another media outlet’s long take on the story.

No, Kirsch faced accusations she stole a credit card in California; she’s allowed to head home (but she can’t leave it!) while waiting to make her guilty plea for all the original identity theft back here in Philly on June 5.

‘Bonnie’ accused of stealing credit card [Inquirer]

Blue-Collar Dads In Blue-Collar Caps

Hmm, where were we? Oh, right: The Bonnie & Clyde of Identity Fraud. Anyway, yesterday the parents showed up to take Jocelyn Kirsch (22, w/ tits) and Edward Anderton (25, w/o) home to get away from Lu Ann Cahn standing out front of their condo.

Anyway, the lawyerly damage control has already begun. Anderton’s family, it turns out, can only afford baseball caps.

“To his parents, this is a lot of money,” Anderton’s attorney, Larry Krasner, told Municipal Court Judge Thomas Gehret yesterday. Krasner, who had few words for reporters, griped to Gehret that their reports had made it look like Anderton “is somehow privileged and he is wealthy.”

Facing Bail Commissioner Dwain Hill at a later hearing, Krasner said: “His father works for a newspaper, and he goes to work in a baseball cap and blue jeans.”

Meanwhile, radio DJ Kidd Chris has offered $2,000 for an interview with Kirsch. Two thousand? Please. Girl’s probably just spent that much on Chris’ credit card just this morning.

While You Were Reading This, Somebody Purchased A New HDTV (And A Warranty!) With Your Credit Card

Hey, are you a Commerce Bank customer? Well, whoops, an employee issued personal information to an outside party. The company says a small amount of its 3 million customers were affected.

Of course, even if you avoid that, you might not be able to avoid a credit card skimmer, which was recently installed on a Wawa ATM in Delaware. A skimmer was attached to the ATM’s card reader; it transmitted information to outside parties who then clone the bank cards and withdraw money.

If someone steals your information and all your monty money, though, you can just go and steal somebody else’s. Like a pyramid scheme!

Commerce Bank Warning Customers Of Info. Theft [CBS 3]
Theft devices found on ATMs in Bear Wawa [News-Journal]

Confidential Court Documents Not All That Confidential

Last week, CBS 3 broke the story that allegedly confidential court documents were lining Broad Street in the early morning. With a Local Emmy in sight, reporter Jim Osman acted as if someone had dropped an atomic bomb on Philadelphia and ended his report with “Someone has some splainin’ to do!”

Well, it turns out that the documents aren’t really confidential after all. Take it away, Daily News:

What Lawrence found were piles of criminal histories, documents that get printed out every day for each and every criminal case on the daily docket. Prosecutors, public defenders, the courts and private attorneys all get these documents.

“These weren’t official court documents. There was nothing confidential or sensitive about them,” Lawrence said. “You could go to the clerk’s office and get a copy of one.”

Thanks, Walt, for the splainin’.

Court records make mess, litter-ally [Daily News]
Aug. 18: Just Wait Until The Candy Machine Goes Too Fast And Jim Osman Has To Start Putting Them In His Mouth

Just Wait Until The Candy Machine Goes Too Fast And Jim Osman Has To Start Putting Them In His Mouth

This morning, early bird workers were surprised to find Broad Street littered with sheets of paper. But these weren’t, say, the copies of free alt-weeklies that usually end up strewn about the street. No, these were court documents with confidential information on them.

No one knows, exactly, how those papers got there. CBS 3 contacted all the major court agencies, but no takers just yet. Eventually Center City District employees cleaned up the mess, but not before reporter Jim Osman (pictured) took some confidential documents to himself and showed them to the cameras as if to say, “Here! Want some free social security numbers?”

Be sure to head to CBS 3 and watch the video, if only for Osman’s final line of the report, which is:

“We’ll keep working all the angles on this story this afternoon to see why, and how these documents ended up on Broad Street. As the saying goes, someone has some ’splainin to do.”

In Osman’s next report, he’ll end with, “One of these days, Alice! Zoom! Pow! Straight to the moon!”

Court Documents End Up On City Streets [CBS 3]
The Golden Age Of TV (News) [The 14th Windiest State]