Beer Truck Crash Fails To Spill Any Beer

Ha ha, a truck carrying Yuengling crashed on the ramp off I-95 at Woodhaven this morning, tying up traffic and not even spilling any beer on the road. Geeze, what’s the point?

Photo via David Swanson/Inquirer

Philly Coalition Of Reason Billboard

No longer will we have to simply be terrorized on I-95 by multiple Christian billboards; now the atheists have their own billboard, too! It is not nearly as stupid as the one that says “Jesus hated going to church, too,” but it’s up there. Leave alone the weirdness of doing a billboard of, uhm, the sky: I thought the bonus about not being religious was not having to deal with getting together with a bunch of people you don’t really know or like to do chants and such.

I believe it’s time for us to pool our money and get a billboard urging people to worship Jupiter.

Don’t believe in God? You are not alone. [Phillyblog]

Naked Man Causes Car Accidents

A man from the Philly area was arrested for drunkenly streaking on I-95, causing three car accidents in the process.

Police say 26-year-old Ardonas Gilbert was running on the Southbound lanes around 10 Monday night on I-95 in Delaware. Allegedly, two citizens attempted to help Gilbert, but he assaulted them in return and ran onto the highway, causing three separate accidents.

I really love the CBS 3 URL, which includes this: Streaker.naked.nude. It’s like they’re trying to get as many search engine hits as possible. That’s actually not a bad idea.

Del. Streaker Wreaks Havoc On I-95 [AP/CBS 3]

Reason #28 To Love Philadelphia: Out-Of-Town Hunters

A Lancaster man was questioned by Philadelphia police after the popo found him hunting on the side of I-95.

Tuesday was the beginning of doe season, and so this Lancaster hunter decided to celebrate it (and Boxing Day, presumably) by pulling his car to the side of I-95 at Island Avenue near the airport and taking some shots.

Not only was he hunting on the side of a highway, but this hunter was dressed in camouflage, had a bow and arrow and was in a tree stand. The cops presumably noticed his car alone on the side of the highway and decided to investigate, eventually taking him in for questioning.

Philly PD spokesman Benjamin Nash: “You are allowed to do bow and arrow hunting within the city if you have the proper license and you have the permission of the owner of the private property you are hunting on. There are probably not a lot of places within the city where that can give a person proper authority to do the bow hunting.”

The side of I-95? Not so much. But, hey, what isn’t there to love about the hunting culture that permeates the rest of our state. Need dinner? Pull over and bag a deer! Now that’s self-sufficiency.

Hunter Takes Unusual Stance [KYW 1060]

BREAKING: BANANA TRUCK CRASH ON I-95

Word is that a banana truck has crashed, possibly spilling its bananas, at the intersection of I-95 and I-476 — really — injuring several Super Mario Kart racers. More TK.

Nightmare on I-95

Yikes. Might want to avoid that area for however long it takes to clean that up, which should be sometime in 2022.

Editor’s Note: Earlier this morning, I’m fairly sure that on KYW 1060, the reporter said an accident on the turnpike was caused by a truck that crashed and caught fire — and it was hard to put out, because it was a truck carrying paper. Tee hee.

Three Major Backups Causing Traffic Delays [KYW 1060]

Apocalypse Philadelphia: The Xylene Spill

Oh, yes, boys and girls, we have a theme today, and it makes no sense. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to milk it all morning.

Have you been outside today? Have you heard any of the news? Well, today everything in Philadelphia is leading up to Apocalypse Philadelphia, and this city’s going under.

Example No. 1: The xylene spill. Yesterday at 5:30 a.m., a tanker truck went over the center barrier and overturned on I-95 in South Philly. It spilled xylene, a highly flammable solvent used in the printing, rubber and leather industries. And although only a small bit spilled out, one spark could have lit the entire tanker ablaze.

And the road wasn’t completely cleared until 8:15 p.m. (The first pump they brought in to clean up the spill failed.) Nobody was hurt. But who knows what’s going to happen now? The xylene could have been released into the air, and we could be breathing it in! Especially with these high winds… oh, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Tanker spill snarls I-95 traffic [Inky]
xylene [Answers.com]
Photo via CBS 3

Just in case you’re driving home…

TV and radio just said I-95 in South Philly will be closed until 9 p.m. They need to clean up all the xylene (which is flammable, and also my new favorite word) that spilled when the tanker truck overturned, and the first pump they brought in failed.

Have fun with alllll that.

I-95 Remains Closed Near Stadium [KYW 1060]
I-95 Still Closed As Rush Hour Begins [NBC 10]
Earlier today: This is why I’m glad I walk to work

This is why I’m glad I walk to work

I-95 in South Philly: Still closed. And with a Flyers game tonight at 7, well, they’d better hurry up.

I-95 May Be Closed As Rush Hour Starts [NBC 10]
Hurricanes at Flyers, 7 p.m. [Yahoo! Sports]
Photo via NBC 10 (obviously)