Deer Hunters, Protesters Inspire Easy Lead Joke

Leads like this are great because they work with any story:

What do deer hunters and protesters have in common?

Both will rise bright and early Thursday for the deer hunt at Tyler State Park.

I know, I get it; but it could just as easily be adapted to “What do the Eagles and Giants have in common? They’re meeting at the Linc next weekend.”

Protesters ready to greet hunters [Courier Times]

Pa. Deer Hunting Season Off To Fantastic Start

Pennsylvania deer hunting season (with a rifle) began yesterday, and it’s already claimed the life of one and the foot of another. Not deer, mind you, but hunters.

Sadly, a 56-year-old man from Meyersville — I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s on the Western side of the state — died after a 20-foot fall from a tree stand. More hilariously, a hunter in Westmoreland County shot himself in the foot while hunting.

Philadelphia continues to not be able to make its own gun laws because men like these need to purchase more than one handgun a month. What’d that state rep call ‘em? Rednecks or crackers or something?

Hunter Killed In Fall; Another Shoots Own Foot [WGAL]

Pa. Man No Longer Allowed To Hunt For Food

Ever spend time in your backyard — what the hell’s a backyard? — wondering just what would make your 4th of July cookout or Memorial Day hoedown even better? Well, there is a way: Have a hunter move in next door!

A judge in Easton yesterday ordered a couple to stop shooting in the backyard of their Lower Saucon Township home. The preliminary injunction prevents the two die-hard hunters from firing at targets or pigeons or whatever. And why did the neighbors seek an injunction against the backyard hunters?

“How would you like to have a picnic at your home and have this guy shooting 18 feet away?”

But things aren’t all odd quotes designed to elicit a “I wouldn’t like it” response. Township police filed 19 gun charges against the hunter, Richard Seruga, but 17 of them were thrown out since he didn’t violate any local gun laws. The township responded by banning shooting within 450 feet of any residence. Sergua is, naturally, claiming conspiracy and has filed a lawsuit. Ain’t this country grand?

Couple ordered to stop target shooting [Express Times]

Reason #28 To Love Philadelphia: Out-Of-Town Hunters

A Lancaster man was questioned by Philadelphia police after the popo found him hunting on the side of I-95.

Tuesday was the beginning of doe season, and so this Lancaster hunter decided to celebrate it (and Boxing Day, presumably) by pulling his car to the side of I-95 at Island Avenue near the airport and taking some shots.

Not only was he hunting on the side of a highway, but this hunter was dressed in camouflage, had a bow and arrow and was in a tree stand. The cops presumably noticed his car alone on the side of the highway and decided to investigate, eventually taking him in for questioning.

Philly PD spokesman Benjamin Nash: “You are allowed to do bow and arrow hunting within the city if you have the proper license and you have the permission of the owner of the private property you are hunting on. There are probably not a lot of places within the city where that can give a person proper authority to do the bow hunting.”

The side of I-95? Not so much. But, hey, what isn’t there to love about the hunting culture that permeates the rest of our state. Need dinner? Pull over and bag a deer! Now that’s self-sufficiency.

Hunter Takes Unusual Stance [KYW 1060]

Hunters Kill Bambi, Deformed Deer

The annual thin-the-herd deer hunt was held in Bucks County on Tuesday, and it went on with the usual hunters-vs.-protesters vibe, although the crowd of protesters has thinned in recent years. Even the court challenges against the annual Tyler State Park event have ceased.

But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some amazing sentences and quotes in Ben Finley’s story from the Doylestown Intelligencer. Let’s list some, shall we?

• “Don’t leave piles of (deer) guts out,” a Pennsylvania Gaming Commission official had told them. “If there are piles of guts out on the trails, people are going to have opposition to this hunt.”
• Signs demanded a stop to “killing Bambi.”
• [Bert] Brelsford said he’s seen some abnormal-looking deer at Tyler. He mentioned deer that have been hit by cars and survived. They have small, squished faces instead of long faces. Their antlers have grown oddly or only grow on one side of their head, he said.
• “The deer don’t observe political boundaries,” [the park manager] said.
• As far as the protesters go, [John] Cox said, “They have a right to their opinion. A vegetarian is a vegetarian. A Protestant is a Protestant. A Catholic is a Catholic. I’m not going to argue with them.”

You know, John Cox may be the wisest person quoted in any article this year.

Herd of protesters shrinks at deer hunt [Intelligencer]

Leftovers: R.I.P., Ed Bradley

• Philadelphia native and longtime 60 Minutes correspondent Ed Bradley died today from leukemia at 65. Y’know, “All that and Andy Rooney tonight” isn’t going to sound the same if it’s not preceded by “I’m Ed Bradley.” [CBSNews.com]

• White Dog owner Judy Wicks is leaving the White Dog, even though she lives above it. But she will no longer own the Cafe — without the pretentious é, thank you very much — and is turning it over to her employees. And, in news I can’t make up, she’ll be a Katharine Hepburn Teaching Fellow at Bryn Mawr next year. [Inquirer]

• A company that makes generic Tylenol is recalling 11 million bottles because they might have metal fragments in them. CVS, Wal-Mart, Dollar General and other stores, come on down!

• New Jersey looks like it won’t have a bear hunt this year. But that won’t stop Tony Soprano. Come on! You remember? He had the bear in his backyard? Aw, nevermind. [Camden Courier-Post]

Quickies: First person perspective

• Sound the sirens! First person journalism in the Inquirer! (This is when we, like 6 ABC, use exclamation points.) It’s a reporter’s tale of his encounters with Roger Keith Coleman, who was executed in 1992 for raping his wife’s 19-year-old sister and slashing her throat. And it’s good, which means there probably won’t be another such front page first-person piece until 2011. [Inky]

• Spread the Benergy! (This word is a frontrunner for “Word of the Year 2006″ already.) Channel 12 asks Philadelphians for musings on Franklin in About Benjamin (cute, I get it) tomorrow night at 9 p.m. [Inky]

• New Phillies GM Pat Gillick speaks at a Police Athletic League luncheon, and actually talks about outfielder Jason Michaels, who’s entering a first time offender program after punching a cop in Old City over the summer. Well, he’s not afraid to shy away from things, I guess. No way the last guy would have mentioned him. [KYW 1060]

• The Pennsylvania Game Commission recommended banning the totally awesome (but possibly inhumane, so maybe not) lacrosse stick-like dart thrower, the atlatl, which is about 8,000 years old. Hunters will still be able to totally vaporize deer with a variety of newer weapons. [Inky]