WFC FCC WTF

Hey, remember this?

Yes, of course, you remember that, it was hilarious when Chase “The Model” Utleybot 5000 said “World Fucking Champions” on live TV during the Phillies parade.

Somebody (Mike Klein, I guess) at the Inquirer got the good idea to FOIA the complaints to the FCC over the incident; the result is this article from the Inquirer that details the Utley complaints. Some of them are great.

“If they didn’t want such words to be broadcast, they should have aired [it] on a delay to catch any obscene language,” wrote a viewer from Philadelphia. “Pull their license to broadcast.”

The Phillies? All the local TV stations? Man, it aired on pretty much every channel, I really don’t want to have to watch just MyNetworkTV and the CW from now on, although I guess I would still get Gossip Girl.

Another viewer wrote: “He should be disciplined for his lack of respect towards his fans and in particular the children exposed to such vulgarity. . . . The broadcasters are not at fault. Chase Utley is.”

Disciplined… by whom? The Phillies, I guess. The Phillies could suspend him or fine him or something. Why this person would be writing to the FCC about this, I have no idea. But people do just complain about anything to anyone, as we’ve seen.

On a side note, can we look at what Chase Utley said to deflect questions about saying fuck on TV:

“I tell all kids not to use that word. If they’re 29 and they win the World Series, I think they can say that. But I definitely would say to all the kids out there, ‘Kids, it’s a bad word. Don’t say it. And I’m dead serious.’”

Ha ha, great, I mean it. I also love how dead serious he is — dead serious enough to say “And I’m dead serious.” Don’t say that word, kids. Take it from me, Chase Utley. Look at all the stupid mail I’ve had to deal with because I said it!

Another: “This was not a casual slip. This was an intentional misuse and abuse of the public airwaves. . . . How am I to explain such profanity to my child?”

I don’t know, maybe you can explain to your son or daughter that multimillionaires who have an uncanny ability to hit a ball (far!) with a bat sometimes say silly things, including saying the one word you’re not supposed to say on television on a live television broadcast. Ha ha, that was so awesome, I just remembered.

And another: “It was embarrassing that he was allowed to do that and if there are no ramifications I will be furious. Is there no platform that is sacred anymore?”

Yes, back when World Series victory parades were sacred. Like when the Philadelphia Athletics won the World Series in 1930, and they had the big parade, and second baseman “Camera Eye” Bishop gave a speech about how the A’s finished 102-52 but their Pythagorean record was only 93-61 and it just made him go, “World Bullfeather Champions.” Yes, I don’t know when things changed, but I bet it’s when they took the prayer out of World Series victory parades.

A radio listener who wrote, “I heard it here in Camden,” said: “That sort of language is no big deal… except that Howard Stern was driven off free radio by you, the FCC, because of content and bad words and the like. It’s only fair that broadcasters be held to the same standards… Fine KYW as much as you are legally allowed to fine them!… Lord knows the US Treasury could use the money.”

And, of course, one of the letters is from a Stern fan. I would wager good money the next sentence of this was, “Baba Booey, Baba Booey, Oh my, Richard Christie!”

FCC gets complaints on Utley’s on-air F-bomb [Inquirer]

Stern Gives Lane His Seal Of Approval

Alycia Lane is now a free woman, and she looks better on her left side than she does straight on. But still, she’s a free woman, as Dan Gross and Michael Klein report in articles full of juicy backstory and descriptions like “demure in a black Moschino suit and matching Louboutin stilettos” (that’s Klein, on Lane).

But by far the best report comes from Mighty Dan Gross, who chats it up with Howard Stern to get the King of All Media’s report on Alycia Lane.

“She’s hot…she has nice big titties… and is the best piece of ass Booker’s ever had,” Stern said of the former CBS3 anchor.. Lange chimed in that he had only met Lane for 10 seconds, but he had enough of a lasting impression that he was able to, we’re paraphrasing here, fantasize about her while masturbating.

Thanks, Dan! I was wondering if Howard Stern thought Alycia Lane had big tits and if Artie Lange jerked off while thinking about her!

Oh, and Alycia Lane wants to go work for another station in Philly. Sounds good to me!

A liberated Lane aiming at CBS3 [Inquirer]
Booker’s friend Howard Stern approves of Alycia [Phillygossip]
Alycia Lane: ‘I’m so glad this is over’ [Daily News]

Ne’er-do-well-hung

Okay, time to admit: I kind of like Howard Stern. When I was little I used to sneakily read my dad’s Stern books and I occasionally listened to him on the radio when I used to drive into work. (I alternated with NPR’s Morning Edition. Yes, this makes no sense.)

Anyway, I didn’t make the transition over to Sirius satellite radio; I’m not hardcore enough of a fan to pay $12 a month to listen to the same show I got for free for all of my life before, but Dan Gross reports today there was talk of CBS 3 sports anchor Beasley Reece last week. (That’s Reece at left.)

Reece is not only a sports anchor, he’s a former football player himself, spending 10 seasons in the NFL in the 70s and 80s. One of his teammates on the New York Giants was Roy Simmons, who came out in 1992. The Stern gang was asking him if there were any players he was attracted to, and, wouldn’t you know, he named Beasley Reece. He also said that Reece had a perfect body and was very well-endowed.

Reece called in the next day to chat with the gang, and I’ll let DG take it from here:

Reece called into Stern’s show Friday because Stern had called him Thursday, but he didn’t seem to know why Stern was calling. Reece said on the show that he was “very uncomfortable,” when the topic of his endowment came up. “I assure you, I’m a normal human being. I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Reece told Stern.

NB to Reece: When someone says you’re well-endowed, don’t tell anyone else otherwise.

Dan Gross | Reece to Stern: I’m normal [DN]
Bio: Beasley Reece [CBS 3]