Barbaro’s Brother Begins Career

Well, well! Today, the Daily News‘ Dick Jerardi reminds us today is a national holiday: It’s the second anniversary of the day Barbaro died! (If you’ve forgotten what a wonderful time that was in terms of Internet hilarity, please read the Field Guide to Barbaro Messageboard Factions. I can’t believe I forgot to submit it! I’m totally using that as an excuse.)

Anyway, the news is not all good on this oh so holy day. It turns out that Saturday will be the debut of Barbaro’s full brother, Nicanor. He’s in the eighth race in Gulfstream Park; Rockland, a son of Smarty Jones, is in the race right before him. Smarty Jones was the local horse the local media was obsessed with in 2004 (as opposed to 2006), but he actually began his career at Philadelphia Park (in Bensalem, of course) and won two races on the teevee instead of one. He did blow the Triple Crown after leading coming around the turn at the Belmont Stakes, but at least he’s still alive. (He is! I bet if you asked random Philadelphians if Smarty Jones was still alive, a majority would confuse him with Barbaro and say he was dead.) Jerardi writes that “something cosmic is at work here.”

Will Nicanor have the backing of God like Barbaro did? Considering how well that worked out for Barbaro, let’s hope not. But even if Nicanor is no good, don’t fret: There’s another Barbaro brother who’s about to start training.

Oh boy.

Barbaro’s brother Nicanor makingdebut at Gulfstream Park [Daily News]
Image by RNHurt used under a Creative Commons license

Del. Likely To Legalize Sports Gambling

Get this, fools: The Daily News reports today that Delaware is likely to approve sports gambling next year, with patrons possibly able to bet on sports by summer. Whee! By the time those Philadelphia casinos open, there won’t be any reason to go to them (except free drinks).

How can Delaware legalize sports gambling? It experimented with it briefly in the 70s, so it’s essentially grandfathered in (along with Nevada, Oregon and Montana); a 1992 federal law prevents gambling on sports except horse racing, because that’s a rich person hobby. (Note: I’m not saying anything bad about horse racing; I love it! But that’s because I hate horses.)

Don’t get too excited, though, it’s going to be stupid for some reason:

Unlike in Nevada, gamblers won’t be able to place a bet on a single sporting event.

Instead, he said: “You’ll have to place a ‘parlay bet’ - a minimum of two bets. You can bet the Eagles to win by seven [points], but you also have to bet [on something like] Brian Westbrook rushing for 100 yards.”

Of course! How dare gamblers be able to bet on something with decent odds. They might win money that way. Now they’ll have to get two bets right in order to win money (if I understand that correctly). No word on where these casinos are going to be, but one might guess places like Dover Downs, Delaware Park and Harrington Raceway, which already have slot machines and recently added roulette.

On a side note, the new places to eat at Dover Downs that opened in September have already closed. Ooh, I can’t wait to go already! When’s the MBNA Best Buy 400, we’ll make it a week down there!

Leftovers: Crying Green (And Red) Tears

• Green Party gubernatorial candidate Carl Romanelli — whose attempt to get on the ballot was bankrolled by Republicans — has been thrown off the ballot by a state judge for failing to have the correct number of signatures. He’s not going away, though. Romanelli is planning to fight for his right for a third-place finish until 2010, at least. [AP/Philly.com]

• Media fight: It’s Jay Glazer versus Les Bowen! Glazer says, “Jevon Kearse’s career is over! The sky is falling!” and Bowen retorts with, “That exclusive Fox story yesterday about the severity of Jevon Kearse’s left-knee injury contained some details that hadn’t been disclosed previously, but the overall conclusion that the injury was worse than reported was not entirely true.” Snappy comeback! [Fox Sports, Inky via NBC 10 Eagles Blog]

• Next Pennsylvania stop for the smoking ban lobby? None other than Pittsburgh, which is considering it. Sigh. Pretty soon all of Pennsylvania won’t be able to breathe noxious fumes in the steel plant or coal mine (yes, yes) all day and then breathe noxious fumes in the bar all night. [Inky Fishbowl]

• Pennsylvania’s gambling board is going to take time out from being arrested to approve the casinos planned for Pennsylvania’s racetracks later this week. The towns with tracks are pumped. Says Bensalem’s William McCauley: “We know who’s going to be on the property. We’re not going to end up with… another mall or a shopping center-slash-housing development.” Because, really, a housing development is so much more destructive than a casino! [AP/Courier Post]

• The turnpike service plazas are getting more bathrooms! Hooray! [AP/Philly.com]

Quickies: Kid Gloves

• The Philadelphia School District has banned workers from listening to music on their computers, since the students can’t play music in school. This is lame; the best part about being an adult (I’m told) is that you get to do things that kids can’t? Why ruin everyone’s fun, School District? [Daily News]

• An anti-gay marriage letter to the U.S. Senate had Cardinal Justin Rigali’s name on it. This should surprise anyone who’s never heard of any religion, let alone Catholicism. [Philadelphia Gay News]

• Barbaro is doing much better, thank you very much. Hooray! Money quote: “My hope for him is that he lives a painless life. Whether that means he’ll be a stallion with little Barbaros, that would be the extreme hope for him.” Would that painless life involve being forced to run around a track while being whipped? [AP/Metro]

• Apparently, one Camden school collected money for field trips when — whoops! — the school district pays for the trips. We can do that? say Philadelphia schools? Now we can get textbooks that go past Chester A. Arthur! [Inky]

Is Barbaro The Worst? Boy, I Guess!

This post has been taken down out of respect for Barbaro’s family.

Barbaro Hurt, Can’t Finish Preakness [NBC 10]
Chat with Barbaro [NBC 10]
Related More Fun With Barbaro [Starting A Landslide In My Ego]
Archives: Barbaro

The Bigger Story: Frankie Avalon Rooted Against Barbaro

Nestled between an ad on the back and a hippie-bashing front page, Metro interviews Frankie Avalon for its “The Week That Was” segment. The paper asks Avalon his top hangouts down the shore, his opinion of The Da Vinci Code and his relationship with Annette Funicello.

And they ask him about the Preakness this weekend:

Who do you like in the Preakness this weekend?

Who won the Kentucky Derby? Barbaro? Yeah, I like Barbaro, the favorite. I was rooting for the horse [Brother Derek] trained by the crippled gentleman. It would have been a good story.

Yeah, Frankie always roots for the cripples.

The Week That Was: Frankie Avalon [Metro]
Earlier today: Metro Breaks Stereotypes, And Plays Into Them

Good Luck In The Pre-Ak-Ness, Barbaro!

Yes, thanks to all of you who have sent this in. Yes, NBC 10 has a robot talking Barbaro that you can talk to. Some have even in depth conversations with Barbaro. (Apparently, his favorite band is Pearl Jam.) At first, really, I didn’t think this was all that crazy — remember, this is the network that brought us Irresistible Ella, Dress the Weatherpeople Up in 80s Garb game and the People are Afraid of Clowns exposé.

Then, I asked him the question in the above screenshot, and got this reply:

I’ll try my best to win the Pre-Ak-Ness!

I mean, I don’t expect talkikng horses to have the best grammar, but you’d think they’d be able to pronounce the names of Triple Crown races. Is that too much to ask?

Oh, before you ask, if you type, “Say: ‘[x]‘” where [x] is any string of words, you can make Barbaro curse. Which is all you want to do anyway.

What If Barbaro Could Talk? [NBC 10]
Mr. Ed’s Robot Bastard Son [Starting a Landslide in My Ego]
PWD Archives: NBC 10