Congratulations, You’re Alive

Who’s up for some good homicide jokes (as opposed to good Homicide jokes) at 8 in the morning?

Not me. (I’ve been up all night telling them.) That’s why this story’s getting the <blockquote> treatment:

Homicides accounted for 29 percent of workplace deaths in the Philadelphia area last year, the highest percentage of the country’s 12 largest metropolitan areas, according to government figures.

The U.S. Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics said Monday that there were 93 workplace fatalities in the area last year, with 27 of those being homicides. Other causes included falls to a lower level (14) and highway crashes (12). [...]

“The construction industry sector accounted for almost one-quarter of Philadelphia’s fatal workplace injuries with 22 deaths; 14 of these were from falls,” the bureau said. Another 17 deaths occurred in the transportation and material moving sectors.

I’m going to be on optimist for once: At least workplace fatalities are so now low that homicides make up a large percentage. Plus, this is actually everywhere:

Philadelphia was not alone in having homicide as the number one cause of workplace fatalities last year. That also occurred in Atlanta, Detroit, Houston, Miami, and San Francisco, the bureau said.

Still, though, that won’t stop some lazy sports columnists (sorry, redundant) from writing a column about “the time Philadelphians killed Santa Claus with snowballs back in 1868″ sometime soon enough.

Almost a third of ’07 workplace deaths in area homicides [Phila. Business Journal]

LOVE Triangle Leads To Fatal Stabbing

Um, yeah: Yesterday, two women were arguing over Tony Stewart (not the race car driver) in LOVE Park, when one of the women fatally stabbed the other.

As far as I can remember, this is what precipitated the renovation of the park to make it “unskateboardable.” No, wait, that was just a bunch of suburban kids who pissed off John Street because they brought a major week-long event to the city (and were white). Well, whatever. Here’s the details from yesterday:

Cops said that the squabble reached a tipping point at about 3 p.m., when Stewart’s homeless girlfriend, Yvette Prince, slugged her rival in the head. The other woman, also homeless, jumped up and plunged a knife into Prince’s chest.

Prince, 45, died of her injuries at Hahnemann University Hospital at 4:54 p.m., investigators said. The unidentified stabber, who is in her 50s, was taken into police custody, but charges were not filed as of last night.

More »

A Criminal Mastermind

Earlier this year, Mary Jane Fonder allegedly murdered Rhonda Smith because she thought her pastor was giving the woman too much attention. In court on Friday, prosecutors made their initial case and issued a copy of Fonder’s daily planner from Jan. 23, the day of the murder:

Written inside the dated block were these three entries: “Rhonda Murder Hairdresser”

If you’re going to commit a murder, please don’t write it in your planner. Everyone knows you should use your Palm Pilot to plan your murders.

‘Rhonda - murder - hairdresser’ [The Intelligencer]

Body Parts Strewn About NE Pa.

Up near Stroudsberg — it’s kinda close to Jim Thorpe — a highway maintenance worker was minding his own business, doing his job when he found a woman’s head in a bag along Interstate 380.

And, hey, other workers and cops and anybody near the highways got to join it on the fun, too, as body parts were found in multiple counties in Northeastern Pennsylvania along I-80 like it was a scene out of that movie where the guy tries to get his body parts back or something. (I dunno, I’ve only seen the box at the video store.)

“At this point, no, we are not comfortable we have found all the pieces. We have certainly done a search of Interstate 80 in Monroe, Carbon, Luzerne and Columbia counties. Again, could something be dumped down the side, certainly,” state police Lt. Robert Bartal said.

In case you have the intelligence of a turnip and weren’t sure, police are treating this as a homicide. If you check out NBC 10’s slideshow of the area, you will also note that Thursday night at 11 there will be “sexpert tips” on the news. Bah.

Body Parts Found In Bags Along Northeastern Pa. Highways [NBC 10]

Good Looking Man Could Not Possibly Be Killer

A neighbor to the Daily News on alleged robber/killer Mustafa Ali:

IT’S HARD for some Northeast Philadelphians to jibe news accounts about accused cold-blooded armored-truck killer Mustafa Ali with the neighbor that they saw: A good-looking and seemingly hardworking dad to three small kids.

“He’s a really attractive man, and he has three beautiful kids,” said Deborah Lewis, 37, a neighbor of Ali in the Franklin Square Townhomes on Woodhaven Road in the Far Northeast . “I’d see him come home from work with the kids, but he never spoke to me.”

The guy also had a job and after murdering two people went home and go to sleep, which a neighbor calls “really mental.” And there’s a ton of great bordering-on-old timey newspaper speak Daily News-type phrases, like cold-blooded armored-truck killer, retired cops-turned-armored-car guards, ruthlessness of the killer, etc.

Slay charges befuddle [Daily News]

Breaking: Philly’s Homicide Problem Solved

Police: Murders Not Yet at 200 [6 ABC]

CBS 3 Begins Broadcasting In HD, Committing Murders

With 6 ABC and Fox 29 already broadcasting the news in high definition, it was only a matter of time before the other networks fell into line. No word on NBC 10, but CBS 3’s 11 p.m. — or, rather, after the National Championship — newscast tonight will be broadcast in HD. The station has also gotten rid of videotape and will record on Blu-Ray discs. (Neat!)

The new CBS 3 digs are at 15th and Spring Garden, because… ah… because the incredible location on Independence Hall apparently wasn’t good enough for CBS 3, and the station felt North Philly would be a better idea.

In the Daily News story today, though, there’s a bit of an ominous sign. Check out this photo by David Maialetti, where a man apparently didn’t do a good enough job for the CBS 3 brass and they killed him and put his head on a pike:

Thanks for that caption identifier, too, Daily News. I was having trouble figuring out which one Paul Hicks was.

Lights, camera, HD [Daily News]

The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem

Philly Murder Rate “Disturbing” [6 ABC]

Four Dead In Navy Yard Shooting

It was like the City of Philadelphia woke up and said, “Hey, we haven’t had a murder in a while. Let’s make this next one really memorable!”

Last night at the old Navy Yard, three people were killed and a fourth critically injured before the gunman committed suicide, allegedly after a dispute over money at a board meeting.

The papers have conflicting reports about what business it actually was; the Daily News reports “much of the bizarre mayhem took place inside the second-story offices of Zigzag.net, a prominent black-owned advertising and marketing firm based in a business center near the banks of the Delaware River,” while the Inquirer says “the shootings occurred about 8:30 p.m. during a meeting of the board of directors of a company called Watson International.” So, ah, the biz is Watson International but the shootings took place at Zigzag.net. Of course.

It’s the worst killing in the city since the Lex Street Massacre in 2001 where seven people died and three were injured. Apparently the conference room scene was “utter chaos.” More on this as more information comes out.

Gunman kills 3, then himself at Navy Yard [Inquirer]
4 ARE SLAIN IN S. PHILA. [Daily News]

Trials In Montco Now Done On Radio

Penn professor Rafael Robb — whose wife was murdered Dec. 22 — gave DNA samples yesterday to Montgomery County authorities, the Inquirer’s Larry King writes, after DA Bruce Castor named him as the chief suspect.

Castor has said there are discrepancies in Robb’s story — for example, after finding his wife he said he put his laptop and briefcase away first — and that he would never publicly name a suspect if he wasn’t going to arrest him.

Over on KYW 1060, though, the two parties are simply content to wage a war of public opinion. David Madden reports:

There are lots of holes in the story Dr. Robb told authorities, according to Montgomery County DA Bruce Castor. And then there’s the defense lawyer insisting arresting his client would be “a mistake.”

Oh snap! Anything to say in reply, Bruce?

“He must be privy to evidence that we don’t have, because everything that I have seen points in the direction of Dr. Robb.”

Oooooh! What do you have to say to that, mister defense lawyer?

“If there were, we would be the first to let Mr. Castor know about it. I guess, unfortunately for Dr. Robb, he’s already told the investigators everything he knows.”

Oh snap! I can’t wait until these two end up on Jerry Springer.

Update, 2:09 p.m.: I missed Regina Medina’s Daily News story about the Robb incident, which spells out some of the gruesome details. It also contains this awesome first sentence:

Ellen Robb appeared to be in a festive mood when an unknown killer bludgeoned her to death three days before Christmas.

And you thought your family’s Christmas gathering was bad.

Professor provides a DNA sample [Inquirer]
Penn Prof Named Suspect in Wife’s Murder [KYW 1060]
Castor dubs husband suspect [DN]