Ho ho ho (and a bottle of rum)

All right, kids! Where do you want to see Santa this year? The mall? The basement of your church after mass? A parade of some sort?

Well, you know what, we’re going to somewhere even better: The Prison System’s Training Academy! Yes, Thursday night, from 5-7 p.m., the Philadelphia Prison System’s training facility (across from the defunct Holmesburg Prison, natch). Things don’t really get better than this, do they?

The press release quotes:

“The Training Academy is right across the street from the Enfield and Holmesburg neighborhoods,” said Director of Training Lt. Frederick Abello. “We want to welcome our neighbors and help celebrate Christmas with them this year.” Santa Claus, in the person of Correctional Officer Orlando Carugno, will be on hand to greet children and their families.

You know, I’m all for outreach by the prisons — okay, to be honest I don’t really fathom how anyone could have an opinion on this — but I think it might be some sort of a trap. Doesn’t Santa know all the boys who are naughty and nice? And doesn’t Correctional Officer Orlando Carugno know that as well? (He does.) Don’t you all see it? They’re going to arrest the bad kids! And possibly give the good ones candy canes!

Eh, maybe that’s not so bad. Either way, full non-jokey press release after the jump.

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