Hatboro Horsham Not Lovin’ It

Remember Morgan Spurlock? He was the guy who made Super Size Me, the funny 2004 documentary that looked at America’s obesity problem.

In the movie, he ate McDonald’s at every meal for a month and encountered serious health problems due to it. (Remember those annoying people who then did it, but ate like, small McDonald’s portions and were like “You stupid liberal!” or something. They were way more annoying than he could ever be.) Since then, he had a TV show, a book and has been going on speaking engagements.

Friday, he spoke at Hatboro Horsham High School and caused a bit of a stir. He got a standing ovation after his speech, but some school officials didn’t like it because of his profanity and his line about teachers smoking marijuana in the balcony.

Oh, yeah, and he also joked about the low IQ of McDonald’s employees and made a comment about “retarded kids in the back wearing helmets.” There were several mentally challenged — insert your own PC term if that one’s not good enough for you — kids in the back, and since they weren’t really offended according to any news reports, school officials got upset for them and cancelled a later speech Spurlock was slated to give that night.

“If you put the whole package together, the use of the F-word and poking fun at teachers and the comments about special-needs students, it just wasn’t appropriate,” Superintendent William Lessa told the Associated Press, but Spurlock retorted with “The greatest lesson those kids learned today was the importance of free speech.”

Indeed! I think that’s actually in the first amendment: “You have the right to make fun of retarded kids at a high school.”

Update: Morgan Spurlock responds to the event on — where else — his blog.

Spurlock Lecture Causes Stir at Pa. School [AP/ABCNews.com]

Holy wars

There’s something about high school basketball that seems to cause fights to break out.

No, wait, scratch that: There’s something about Catholic high school basketball that seems to cause fights to break out. For some reason, when those Catholic high schoolers ditch the navy blue sweaters and plaid jumpers for casual garb and head to a local gym to watch players who can actually shoot free throws, there’s bound to be some fighting.

Case in point: After Neumann-Goretti edged Roman on a three at the buzzer in the Catholic League championship, fans threw bottles, tempers flared, and six people were arrested — including Antonio “Tone” Jardine, father of N-G point guard Antonio “Scoop” Jardine. (The Daily News‘ Ted Silary is one of the best high school writers in the country, if only because he always puts in the nicknames.)

The Neumann people say it’s Roman’s fault, since they threw “debris, including plastic bottles, at least some with varying levels of soda/water” — this is another reason why Silary rules — at Neumann players and fans. But the Roman people say it’s N-G’s fault, since Derrick “D.J.” Rivera ran over to Roman’s bench to celebrate after hitting the gamewinner.

Anyway, Catholic league hoops probably won’t be back at La Salle’s Tom Gola Arena next year, and the Palestra probably won’t take them, either. Are you ready for the Catholic League championship at the Hank Gathers Courts at 25th and Diamond? Actually, that would kind of rock.

Buzzer-beatings follow buzzer-beater [DN]
Photo by absolutwade

Quickies: Such great heights

• A woman who fell on some packages can sue the Postal Service for it. Sweet! Quick, somebody throw some mail on the floor, I’m gonna be rich! [NBC 10]

• Stabbed on the steps University City High? Well, you’re going to jail! [Inky]

• NB to local journos: If you write about PW — and by all means, you should — please don’t refer to us in a headline as Phila. magazine. It makes us all feel a little icky. [KYW 1060]

• The more you hear, doesn’t it just seem like President Bush doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing? I don’t even really think UAE-owned ports is a security threat, and somehow I still disagree with him. [AP/Yahoo!]

An Overbrook student’s rap, presented without comment

Coming to school 90 percent of the time

I mean grip your ID and get into line
Do excellent work, plus stay on task,
and if you want to pass, go to every single class.

I know you want to go home and get your rolly on,
but you need French I. Don’t cut Ms. Collignon.
Everybody got potential, we can see it in your eyes.
If you want to rise, keep your mind on the prize…

Student rhymer helps principal rally school [Inky]

Some people will complain about anything

Oh bitch, bitch, bitch.

Parents Frustrated Over Bomb Threats at School [6 ABC]