It’s Still Hot Today, Reports Everyone

Yes, it’s a slow news week — everyone is too hot to do anything newsworthy — so there is news about the weather everywhere! It’s allegedly going to be 99 degrees today (and is currently 78 with “Haze,” whatever that is).

Those lucky schoolkids get off at noon again today. NBC 10, meanwhile, exposes the seedy underworld of swimming where no swimming signs are posted.

Despite the “no swimming” signs posted along the creek, they were still going in the water. “Well I don’t consider this swimming. I consider it wading,” one man told NBC 10.

One girl was asked, “Is it safe out here?” “Yeah, kind of. … It’s sort of safe out here, if you watch what you’re doing,” she said.

The station also gives a helpful tip: “Do not leave older people, children or pets alone in cars.” Look, I don’t think you should be doing that even in the winter.

Apparently, all of this is going to break sometime tonight; tomorrow will be a more pleasant 87 degrees.

Really Hot News

I noticed this ad for Philly.com on the side of a SEPTA bus this morning right before the bus went right through a red light. (Of course.)

Not a bad slogan, I guess. But if Philly.com really wants to take it to the next level, might I suggest a change to the logo?

Now that’s hot, thermometer-melting news.

The Heat Wave Is Over!

Wait, this means it’s over?

Slight Break Expected in the Killer Heat [KYW 1060]
Philadelphia [Weather Underground]

Leftovers: Oh, Pennsylvania

• Thank you, KYW 1060, for this lead: “At a county fair you can usually buy hot dogs, funnel cakes, and maybe a t-shirt or stuffed animal. ¶ But at Pennsylvania’s Clearfield County Fair, three vendors have some very different items on sale. They’re hawking Nazi and Ku Klux Klan merchandise. ” Bonus: A lawyer was hospitalized for dehydration after he chained himself to the courthouse in protest. [KYW 1060]

• It’s not just humans who don’t like the heat wave. Plants — yes, plants — don’t like it, either. Bonus points for the Petunia/Rose/Daisy line. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Some kids broke into the headquarters of Alex’s Lemonade Stand and stole a bunch of money. Then they scattered Alex’s Lemonade wristbands on the roof. (Gasp!) This is just like when Bart chopped off Jebediah Springfield’s head. [NBC 10]

• Hey, did you see what happened in Wilkes-Barre? The guy who bought the Times Leader went and became publisher and editor. Hmm. I wonder where else that could happen… [Times Leader]

Final Day Of Heat Wave?

According to Action News, today is the eighth and possibly the last day of the heat wave. Or, as they put it, “Today is the 8th, and quite possibly the last day of this heat wave.”

Our buddies at 6 ABC also say:

That’s when a cold front should ease temperatures down from around 100 to the mere 80’s.

Whoo! Break out the parkas.

8th and Maybe Last Day of Heat Wave [6 ABC]

Promise Of $10 Sends Shoppers Into Oppressive Heat

This morning, the new Macy’s in the Wanamaker Building opened, and people flocked there.

The main reason people stood in lines that were “two blocks long, wrapping around two sides of the building” was the $10 gift cards Macy’s was handing out to the first 1,000 customers. And 10 “lucky shoppers” won a cool thousand bucks to buy, buy, buy to their heart’s content.

Of course, it was in the high 80s this morning when everyone lined up for the store’s opening. Here’s how the Inquirer describes it:

Joseph Burnside of Philadelphia said he arrived at 7:30 but wished he’d gotten there by 5. “I thought I would beat the crowd but the crowd beat me. I should have bugalooed down here.” Occasionally, he’d shout out a suggestion for another giveaway: “Maybe you could pass out some water!” ¶ Other people were trying to handle the heat by fanning themselves with newspapers, and blotting their brows with tissues.

I can see the headlines tomorrow: 25 die of heatstroke at Macy’s opening.

Still, it’s not all possible bodily harm due to dehydration. Some people have shopping down to a science:

Lorraine Jamison and Leticia Robinson, both in town for a sorority convention, came straight from the gym. “We have a strategy,” said Robinson. “If we see anything, we kindly ask them to put it on hold, we go back and shower, and get our credit cards.”

And they say shopping’s not an art form.

Crowd forms early for Macy’s opening this morning [Inquirer]

Your Daily ‘Hey, It’s Hot Outside!’ Update

We can’t make history, as it didn’t hit triple digits yesterday, but a nice 101 degree day should do.

Philadelphia [Weather Underground]

Nevermind, Don’t Go Outside At All Today

The heat index is expected to be 100-degrees and higher and by Wednesday, officials said the heat and humidity may make it feel 112-degrees in the shade.

Hot Temperatures Could Reach Triple Digits [CBS 3]

The Greatest Moment In Philadelphia History?

Oh, we’re finally here! Yes, it’s the first of two days forecast at over 100 degrees! Everybody celebrate!

Or, well, don’t. Whatever you do, you are going to have to deal with the heat today. The Inquirer, though, notes that today’s heat might not just be, uh, hot — it could also be the first of two very special days:

The National Weather Service forecast calls for today and tomorrow to be “dangerously hot and humid” in Philadelphia, with highs around 101.

Should the temperature actually reach the century mark both days, that would be highly unusual, verging on historic.

In the 133 years that records have been kept, the city has recorded consecutive 100-degree days only 14 times.

1776: Declaration of Independence. 1969: Man walks on moon. 2006: The 15th time Philadelphia has recorded consecutive 100-degree days?

We can only wait and pray.

100-degree days forecast [Inquirer]

Your Heat Wave Update

Here’s a wrap-up of heat wave coverage from our oh-so-fine local media outlets.

• Today, it’s supposed to hit 96 degrees, according to a weather-obsessed station that shall remain nameless. My widget says it’s currently 87. [NBC 10]

• Cheer up, Center City office workers! Although you’re in long pants today — well, most likely — it’s not all bad. While food trucks are still in operation despite 130 degree heat inside them, the horse-n-buggies are not, possibly saving you about 15 seconds on the car ride home. [KYW 1060]

• Tip from CBS 3: Do not leave older people, children, or pets alone in cars. This, however, is okay during all other times of the year. [CBS 3]

• Meanwhile, Action News reports that Philadelphia’s Heatline workers have “sound advice”, such as “opening windows if your home does not have air conditioning.” [6 ABC]