Your Lead Of The Year

In other news, we just lost power here at PW, and so my laptop is going to run out of power eventually. (Internet still works.) I’ll be moving locations and shall be back soon.

Update: OMG I just remembered the Obama office is above us. TERRORIST ATTACK BY JOHN MCCAIN!!!

Group To Announce Discovery Of Bigfoot [CBS 3]

Wimps

Aw, suck it up.

Raw Sewage In Water Ruins Beachgoers’ Plans [NBC 10]

Headline Of The Day

Yes, yes. I know.

$52 tax will be split four ways [The Intelligencer]

I’ve Already Ordered Three

44-pound stray cat bulges out of box [CNN.com]

Who Kew? [sic]

In related news, CBS 3 won an award for the best copy editing of any website in America, and Philadelphia Will Do won the national award for analysis of geopolitical developments in 2007 and their relation to increasing Shia-Sunni tensions in the Middle East.

I kid, I kid. Congrats, Tribune!

Philadelphia Tribue Named Nations Top Newspaper [CBS 3]

…

“My 75-year-old mother will have to relearn to pour milk!”

Indeed the biggest complaint so far involves the difficulty of pouring from the new container.

I’m beginning to think nuclear holocaust isn’t so bad of an idea.

Area Shoppers Divided Over Coming Shape of Milk Jugs [KYW 1060]

Slow News Day (But The Phillies Play At 3!)

For some reason, this headline made me chuckle. What renovations? She’s dead!

Study to determine renovations needed for Eleanor Roosevelt [Courier Times]

Cancer Merchants

Apropos of nothing, I found this icon/thread title combination on Phillyblog pretty hilarious. The thread’s pretty awesome, too, especially when the “I hope you get cancer!” accusations start flying.

Oh, yeah, and apparently somebody posting in the thread is related to Bud Dwyer, bahahaha. I don’t think it can get any better than this.

Alex’s Lemmonade [sic] Stand Lowes Hotel [Phillyblog]

Obama To Lose Election

Wow, all women? You think she could have at least won the nomination with that kind of support.

Oh, I see: The newest media narrative is Hillary Clinton supporters who hate Barack Obama; presumably, these are the bitter voters who shoot guns and love Jesus. Anyway, this syndicated column is all about how John McCain will now be president and it’s all the media’s and Obama’s fault for winning all those delegates.

Furious over Hillary-bashing, women vow to sink Barack [Inquirer]

Daily News Takes Controversial Stance

Gee, thanks, guys. But, heck, we haven’t started a new war in like five years! We’re totally overdue for one; who doesn’t want to go into Iran, or North Korea, or Burma, or Canada…

LET’S REMEMBER TO NOT START ANOTHER WAR [Daily News]