Fortunately, City Not Neglecting Breasts

Yesterday, City Controller Alan Butkovitz released a report detailing how incompetent the city is, pretty much. (This is his job.)

And one of the more egregious items missing? Why, of course, a mammogram machine, which had somehow apparently been lost. It seems like it might be hard to lose one of those, but, hey, it’s Philly.

But fear not, ladies: The mammogram machine has been found; it was never missing in the first place! Hooray!

Acting Health Commissioner John F. Domzalski, appointed on Friday after a department shakeup, said that the machine, reported missing this morning by Controller Alan Butkovitz, is accounted for and operating at Health Center #4.

Domzalski did say that the Controller’s other findings appear to be true.

So, you know, we got that at least. Phew.

Mammogram Machine Found! [Heard in the Hall]
Thanks, Citizen Mom

One-Man New Jersey KKK Disbands

The one-man KKK of Millville — that’d be Joseph Bednarsky — previously passed out white supremacist fliers, threatened to pass out more white supremacist fliers and defended the KKK from asbestos-planting accusations.

But now, that’s all in the past. Joseph Bednarsky says he has disbanded his local chapter of the KKK and renounced his white-supremacist ways. He said he joined the KKK when he was 18 and spent 20 years donning the white hood and spouting various racist nonsense. But he’s done with it.

Hell, he’s even realistic about it! “You don’t go to bed one night being a white supremacist and wake up the next morning and everything is fine,” Bednarsky said. “It’s something I have to work on as a person. I have to change the way I think.” He doesn’t say what caused him to wise up to the fact white people aren’t better than any other race — met a cute black girl? discovered an Asian guy made Super Mario Bros.? — but he does say he was pretty damn lonely before.

“I’ve lived a very isolated life as a Klansman,” Bednarsky said. “I’ve been convicted of felonies because of it. I lost my better half and didn’t get to see my children. It has cost me a lot.”

Really? You were isolated in your one-man chapter of the KKK in New Jersey? Gee, surprising. But, hey, he’s renounced his ways. Good for him.

Man Said He Quit KKK, Disbanded Local Chapter [NBC 10]
Archives: Joseph Bednarsky

Also, the Riversharks should contend this season

Yep. An e-newsletter that’s just a blank Word document.

Kidding, kidding. See, there’s good news: The South Camden Theater Company is looking for actors and actresses.

Camden Matters
E-Newsletter Highlights Positive Happenings in Camden [KYW 1060]