PSA: Suck It Up And Wear A Condom

If virginity pledges did more than just make you more likely to have anal sex, the City of Philadelphia would probably want to make some people sign them.

Why, you ask? Well, it’s just that our city has super mutant drug-resistant gonorrhea. Yes, one out of every four heterosexual men in Philadelphia who have the disease have a super mutant form that doesn’t respond to common antibiotics. Aiiiiiiieeeee!

The CDC released an advisory yesterday to stop treating gonorrhea with Cipro — the usual, quick and easy cure — and use a shot known as ceftriaxone instead. The president of the Infectious Disease Society of America told us the good news about the clap:

“Gonorrhea has now joined the list of other superbugs for which treatment options have become dangerously few,” said Dr. Henry Masur, president of the Infectious Disease Society of America. “To make a bad problem even worse, we’re also seeing a decline in the development of new antibiotics to treat these infections.”

In 26 cities the CDC studied, the rate of drug-resistant gonorrhea rose from 0.6 percent in 2001 to 7 percent last year. In Philadelphia, the rate rose from 1.2 in 2004 to 27 percent now.

Twenty-seven percent! Jesus Christ, I’m never having sex again. Hey, wait! (Rimshot.)

CDC says gonorrhea is drug-resistant [AP/Yahoo!]