Leftovers: I See… Oh, Forget It

• Whoever’s doing headlines on Philly.com passes on the obvious joke about Haley Joel Osment’s arrest — that’d be something along the lines of “I see drunk people” — and goes with “I see handcuffs.” Oy. [AP/Philly.com]

• The Eagles lose in preseason action, 20-10, to the Ravens, but the first teamers were ahead at halftime. On the downside, the Eagles receivers apparently have no hands. [Daily News]

• Now who ever would have thought a Planet Hollywood casino would have a bad design? I mean, really? [Inquirer]

• Great. Just when we forgot about flash mobs, a group wants to have a multi-lingual ordering mob at Geno’s. Come to think of it, we forgot about this whole Geno’s thing, too. Thanks a lot, flash mobbers. [Philebrity]

Vento Donates To ESL Program, Wants People To Know He Doesn’t Really Want People To Learn English

The Bensalem Rotary Club was looking for fundraisers for an English as a Second Language program they were funding recently, and one fellow laughed that they should ask Joe Vento, owner of Geno’s Steaks, for money.

Rotary member Stvee Moran, however, didn’t take this as a joke, and drove down to South Philly (all the way from Bensalem!) to order a pizza steak (in English) and ask if Vento would donate to the program. He spoke with Diana Vergagni, Vento’s sister-in-law, who handles much of the charity work of the Geno’s owner.

And, hey, what do you know, the next day a check for $200 was in the mail. Good for Vento et al. But in case you were wondering, well, he doesn’t really care:

“We don’t go looking to donate money to people who want to teach people English,” [Vergagni] said. “He just basically donates to Rotary clubs and anything for kids. It’s just a coincidence. He’s not promoting to have courses to teach English.”

Phew. We thought he might actually be interested in teaching people English for a minute there.

Geno’s donates to ESL program [Bucks County Courier Times]
Archives: Geno’s

3rd Of July Link Dump: This May Be All You Get

• Late last week, Brian Tierney took questions online from readers. Aside from the usual stupidity — someone asking if Michael Smerconish could edit the Inquirer, a person wanting a gift shop/waiting room at 400 N. Broad that people could read the paper in, etc. — Tierney provides this comment in response to someone who reads Metro instead of the Daily News: I’ve always thought Metro was a little overpriced ;)” OMG LOL! [Philly.com]

• Despite an absolutely atrocious team, the Phillies have three All-Stars: Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Tom Gordon. And at the halfway point, the Phillies have a 37-44 record, their worst first half since 2002. It’s okay, though, the Phillies are set for the second half after trading for 5-foot-7, 175-pound F. Castro! Okay, it’s Fabio Castro, which is almost as funny as if the Phillies signed Fidel. [Inquirer, Phillies.com]

• Philadelphia loses its biggest celebrity: Lil’ Kim was released from prison this morning. Throngs of fans — and, assumedly, Dan Gross — greeted her today. Huzzah! [AP/Philly.com]

• Faye Flam’s Carnal Knowledge column celebrates its first year today with a quiz about sex. And the first question? “1. What does a male honeybee do after he finishes having sex with the queen?” I think I’ll stick to worrying about human sex, thanks. [Inquirer]

• A group of people ordered cheesesteaks at Geno’s the other day in Spanish, which means we’ve hit a tipping point: The (hardcore) protesters of Geno’s have finally gotten more annoying than Joe Vento himself. (Eh, maybe. Definitely not as annoying as Vento’s more vociferous supporters, though.) But, eh, we’re sure the big guy will find a way to tip that scale back to his side any day now. [Inquirer]

• A meeting of the minds! The Bucks County Courier Times‘ J.D. Mullane and Lyndon Larouche! [Bucks County Courier Times]

• And, really, what would a day be without Irresistible Ella? She’s somehow reporting in front of a static fireworks display. [NBC 10]

Santorum Adds Immigrants To Already Impressive List Of Phobias

Last night, everyone’s favorite senator, Rick Santorum, made an impromptu appearance at — where else? — Geno’s.

Here’s what ol’ Ricky told the Daily News after his visit:

“It makes all the sense in the world to have a sign like this,” he told a Daily News reporter after the paper was tipped off to his late-night visit. “There’s not really an extensive menu here. I mean, come on, it’s cheesesteaks, onions, et cetera. It’s not that hard.”

If it’s not that hard, WHY DO YOU NEED A SIGN? What’s that you say? The sign has nothing to do with ordering in English and everything to do with Joe Vento’s displeasure with Mexican immigrants replacing Italian immigrants in South Philly? No! You lie!

In plain English, Rick backs Vento [Daily News]
Archives: Geno’s

That’s It, Jill Porter, You’re On The List

AAAAARGH! NO MORE!

Jill Porter: The Geno’s Debate Should Continue [Daily News]
Nixon’s Enemies List [Wikipedia]

Geno’s! Geno’s! Geno’s!

You know how every once in a while somebody will see the Virgin Mary in a sandwich or oil stain or something, and thousands of people will flock to the stain and pray to it and shit? Yeah. This is stupider.

Be sure, though, to check out the discussion on one of the Joe Vento posts here. That also might be stupider.

The world weighs in on Geno’s sign [Inky]
May 30: Press 1 For Asshole

Leftovers: King Of The CEOs

• I’ve never heard of the Elmwood Park Zoo in Norristown, but now I want to go, just because of its intense CEO (left), Rafael Suarez. [Elmwood Park Zoo]

• Now that I have your attention, be sure to check out Liz Spikol’s Top 10 Mental Health Tips, which is so official it gets capital letters. Number 1 is exercise. [The Trouble With Spikol]

• Despite Big Ben’s injury, Gov. Ed Rendell stands by his signing of the helmet law repeal three years ago. [KYW 1060]

• Will Bunch sez the helmet law is a good idea, because head injuries cost taxpayer money. Now that’s a language anyone can understand! [Attytood]

• Speaking of that, this Joe Vento thing just won’t die. But you knew that. [Inky]

Blogicized: Soccer? I Hardly Even Know Her!

• NB to bloggers, journos, etc.: Writing hackeneyed shit like this where you go “Boy, soccer sure is boring… HOOLIGANS!” was probably not funny even when it first started showing up around 1990. If you’re going to bash the World Cup, at least come up with something different. Please. [PhillyBurbs.com Blogs]

• We should have known Pat Gillick would screw up the rotation when he came to town, said we needed pitchers, then traded a starting pitcher away. I’m pretty sure I’ve brought that up before, but it bears repeating. Aspiring model Jason Weitzel weighs in on what could be done to fix the team’s bloated ERA. [Beerleaguer]

• You’re now not allowed to read Tom Ferrick’s blog if you don’t speak English. Get it? GET IT??? [Tom Ferrick's Poliblog]

NBC 10 Tugs At Our Primal Urges

The current top four stories on NBC 10’s website:

Those primal urges, of course, are sex and cheesesteaks.

NBC 10

No, The Sign Clearly Is A Knock On Irish Immigrants

Ehh… to be honest, I don’t even know where to start with this one.

Does Geno’s English-Only Policy Targets Mexicans? [NBC 10]