Cook Calls For Man’s Execution During Football Broadcast

When a Philadelphia sports team has a nationally televised game, the broadcast always includes at least one camera shot of Pat’s and Geno’s. (This is either an FCC rule or sports producers are too lazy to come up with new ideas. Hmm, I think it might be the latter.)

CBS obliged during Sunday’s Eagles-Steelers tilt, and what did we see at Geno’s? That’s right: The famed official Daniel Faulkner shirt calling for Mumia Abu-Jamal’s execution. (For more fun, check out the whole selection of tacky gear available on the Daniel Faulkner Online Store. They even co-opted the “Never forget” slogan.)

I’m fairly certain this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this shirt on a football broadcast, at Geno’s. That shirt might even be the uniform. You do have to hand it to the cops (and, um, cheesesteak cooks). There aren’t too many people who are semi-regularly told they should die on national TV. I’m not sure if that bodes well for the Domelights/Geno’s/Michael Smerconish crowd, though: Nobody was all that successful in killing the other guy I can think of who got that kind of treatment (Osama Bin Laden).

Comedy Show On (No Way!) Cheesesteaks

Hey, guess what? A comedy show came to Philadelphia for a week, and while it was here filmed a little bit about cheesesteaks. Yes, I”m pretty shocked as well, since nobody who ever comes to Philadelphia ever mentions cheesesteaks.

Stephen Colbert introduced the bit with a quip about how Hillary vs. Barack wasn’t the only battle Tuesday night. He then said Pat’s vs. Geno’s does a battle every day! Oh, man, how do these comedy news producers find this stuff? I didn’t know anybody knew about Pat’s and Geno’s!

Despite all that, it’s still pretty funny. Video after the jump.

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Guiliani No Longer Cheesesteak Idol

From the Dept. of People I Am Jealous Of (be flattered!) comes the above video, done by PW’s own Cassidy Hartmann, who I occasionally yell stupid jokes over the cubicle wall at. Cassidy is the Pennsylvania correspondent — unfortunately, they apparently call it a “Street Team rep” — for MTV’s get-young-people-to-vote web thingy.

In this video, Rudy 9u11ani is airing a new campaign ad in Florida broadcast in Spanish even though he appeared at Geno’s Steaks with Joey “Speak English” Vento. He’s not happy about it, and it’s totally worth watching the whole thing, ig only to see Joey Vento refrain from saying “That’s bullshit” on camera.

She’s going to be doing this through the election, and you should be able to follow her here. Huzzah.

Hey Look, That Dude From 9/11 Was At Geno’s

Oh, man, look the cheesesteak guy endorsed him. The guy who makes cheesesteaks at Geno’s endorsed him. Forget the “Speak-a English” sign, that the endorsement of a cheesesteak maker would help shows this country is doomed, no matter who gets elected president.

Rudy visits Philly [YouTube]

Fascist Presidential Candidate To Eat Xenophobic Cheesesteak

Doin’ anything tonight? Well, now you are, because the Official Presidential Candidate of 9/11 is going to be eating at Geno’s tonight!

Presidential candidates usually stop at Pat’s and Geno’s, but now that Geno’s owner Joe Vento — a resident of New Jersey — has become the poster child for hating the Mexicans that moved in to South Philly, the creepy Republican candidates will all be stopping at Geno’s to let them know how they’re going to build 300 Guantanamo Bays and end all immigration and, in the case of Ron Paul, collapse the global economy. (Update: Ron Paul’s election would also blow up the Earth.)

Republican presidential front-runner Rudy Giuliani will be in South Philadelphia this evening. The former New York mayor is scheduled to be at Geno’s Steaks on South Ninth Street at 6:45 p.m. to visit with area residents.

Geno’s Steaks is owned by Joey Vento, who got national and international attention last year for posting a sign in the window declaring: “This is America. When ordering, speak English.” In his campaign, Giuliani has said that anyone seeking American citizenship should be required to read, write and speak English.

Guiliani will then imprison any residents who jaywalk after he makes fun of John Kerry for ordering a steak with Swiss on it like four years ago.

Giuliani to visit Geno’s Steaks tonight [Inquirer]

Something Is Rotten In The Market Of Reading Terminal

Nowadays, the only real cheesesteak news is how Joey Vento of Geno’s has singlehandedly destroyed the immigration bill, saving America from the Mexican menace. But there’s a new cheesesteak controversy: Rick’s Steaks has been kicked out of Reading Terminal.

Rick’s owner Rick Oliveri, who managed to supplant Geno’s as one of the Ashburn Alley steak vendors in Citizens Bank Park this season, says he’s being kicked out because, as president of the merchants’ association, negotiated longer hours and a few other things. Oliveri doesn’t say who’s angry — management? other vendors? — but he does say something is up: “I think it’s retaliation. It’s a concern for merchants, and as president, to make sure merchants are getting the best bang for the dollar at the Reading Terminal Market.”

Tony Luke’s will be replacing Rick’s at Reading Terminal after Rick’s vacates by July 31. I think we all know who’s to blame: The Pennsylvania Dutch. They’re always up to no good!

Long-Time Reading Terminal Merchant Gets the Boot [KYW 1060]
Mind your language at Geno’s [BBC]

‘Daily News’ Clarifies Most Imp’t Mayoral Issue

A correction in today’s paper:

A story in yesterday’s paper about several mayoral candidates’ visit to Central High School misstated their cheese-steak preferences. Chaka Fattah, Tom Knox and Michael Nutter all favor Pat’s; Al Taubenberger and Bob Brady prefer Geno’s.

Phew. I’m glad we cleared this up.

Correction 02.28 [DN]

Not In Love With The Modern World

Good Morning America is currently doing a countdown of the “7 Great Wonders of the Modern World.” (I know. Who knew?)

Never one to miss a chance at cross-promotion, the team at 6 ABC is asking for your wonders of the Delaware and Lehigh Valleys. (You have to scroll down past the story about the kid in suburban New York who was suspended for asking his teacher for a hug and calling her “sexy.”)

I’d like to take this time to nominate Geno’s as our Wonder of the Delaware Valley. It’s the largest concentration of anti-immigrant messages and neon in the western hemisphere.

Get your thinking caps… [6 ABC, 2nd item]

Geno’s Story Rises From Grave Again

It seems that every time I’ve just about forgotten about Joey Vento and his “Speak English” sign it comes roaring back with a vengeance.

The newest foible is the revelation by a poster on DailyKos that Joe Vento doesn’t use American beef! Yes, Vento’s cuts of beef speak Spanish before they’re slaughtered and shipped to America. They come from Uruguay, and therefore are cheaper for Vento and for you, the consumer, so it’s a smart business move, blah blah blah.

But, with Vento’s “This is America, speak English” sign — as well as one that says “LEGAL = WELCOME; ILLEGAL = LEAVE” — it’s quite amusing, of course.

Also amusing? The Inquirer’s Michael Klein, reporting on the DailyKos post, lets us know that the beef is probably Vento’s only immigrant product:

It’s likely that the rest of Geno’s ingredients are American. Much lettuce and tomatoes come from California and Florida, onions from the Northwest - though perhaps picked by migrant farmworkers. Canola oil is pressed in the Midwest. And then there’s Cheez Whiz, which no foreign land can claim.

But what about provolone? What about provolone?!

More Fun in Philly With “English-Only” Geno’s Cheesesteaks! [Daily Kos]
Geno’s lets beef moo in Spanish [Inquirer]
Archives: Geno’s

Leftovers: Vote Early, Vote Often

• Gridskipper is having a “World’s Sexiest City” contest, and Philadelphia is up for the… World’s Most Hetero city! (Not necessarily anti-gay, it just means there’s a lot of man ‘n’ woman fuckin’ goin’ on.) I encourage you to vote for our fair city to win, although I suppose I’m a little dubious in its position among the nominees. (Take a guess why.) But no love for pro-gay, even with our “Get your history straight and your nightlife gay” ads? C’mon! [Gridskipper]

• Tonight marks the premiere of Monday Night Live on Comcast SportsNet, the day-after-football postgame show you might have heard of, but can’t really understand why. It’s hosted by the ubiquitous Michael Barkann. The co-host, though, is the real star: Fred Bibbo, the CSN security guard-turned-sports movie critic. This city. Awesome. [Inquirer, last item]

• Jim McGreevey’s memoir — The Confession — hits shelves Sept. 19, and he’s celebrating by taping an episode of Oprah tomorrow. Get ready for a really gay interview about a really gay book. Hey, it’s not even being used in the annoying pejorative sense this time! [AP/Inquirer]

• A group of activists decided to order at Geno’s in Spanish, and were turned down. The organizer’s rationale for the publicity stunt (which, uh, was a little late): “The point isn’t to communicate what it means to order food but to communicate ‘fuck your attitude’.” Indeed! [Philly IMC]

• The top two search terms currently on Philadelphia Will Do: “steve irwin jokes” and “steve irwin death jokes.” God bless America. And probably Australia, too.