Same-Sex Marriage Ban Tabled

The state Senate has decided to table the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, meaning that all that time the senators wasted debating this is, well, still wasted.

House leaders said if the bill passed the Senate it would be sent to the “House State Government Committee,” which apparently not only exists but is chaired by Babette Josephs, who opposes the bill. (She’d no doubt fight extra hard because her district includes the Gayborhood.)

But Vince Fumo knows otherwise! He says the Senate would probably strip the language also banning gays from the “functional equivalent” of marriage (i.e. civil unions). “I think there were enough votes to strip that out and I think that’s what scared them,” Fumo told KYW 1060 “So they needed an excuse, and the excuse was the House. Which is fine with me, any face-saver they want is good with me.”

Fumo would, of course, let them save face while telling the radio station exactly why the bill was tabled.

Pa. Senate Derails Proposal That Would Ban Gay Marriage [KYW 1060]
Yesterday: Same-Sex Marriage Ban Out Of Committee

Ha Ha John Street Got An Angry Jesus Fax

The Inquirer’s Heard in the Hall reports of an angry fax Mayor Street got from Jesus regarding his decision to officiate a gay marriage this Saturday (the people at right are sadly neither the complainers nor the people getting married):

No, Mayor Street, Same-Sex Marriage is Not Legal In Pennsylvania

(Philadelphia) – Outgoing Mayor John Street’s decision to perform a same-sex commitment ceremony on Saturday at City Hall offers a further explanation in the course Philadelphia has taken in the past several years. Today the American Family Association of Pennsylvania (AFA of PA), a statewide group which supports Pennsylvania’s one man, one woman marriage law and the effort to pass a Marriage Protection Amendment to the PA Constitution, faxed the mayor a letter of concern outlining the wrong messages that will be sent by his involvement in Saturday’s activities.

“Mayor Street has drifted off course during his political career. Once a strong advocate for traditional values, he can no longer be trusted to uphold those values that are supposedly part of his belief system,” said Diane Gramley, President of the AFA of PA.

More »

Cloning Gays Is Totally Out Of The Question

It’s nice to know (for me, at least) that if I do take a week off, there will be plenty of material waiting for me when I return. But more on this later; new material has simply appeared, like magic, in today’s Inquirer. I speak, of course, of Faye Flam’s “Carnal Knowledge” column.

Today’s piece is about gays, and why people hate them. The headline is pretty clear: “What fuels the hatred of homosexuality?” What makes the column more interesting than usual: There’s no mention of the Bible at all. It’s like writing a column about the cause of the American Civil War and not mentioning slavery.

Flam instead focuses on the “ick factor” of (for the most part) straight men, who abhor the idea of two men kissing or assfucking or whatever. This makes sense, of course; to be honest, I feel men are so disgusting I can’t even understand how straight women find men attractive. (I suppose if they didn’t it would be the end of the species; mankind is saved because not everyone is as neurotic as I am.) “Isn’t it kind of babyish to declare gays immoral because you think their sex lives are icky?” Flam writes. Of course, what if your all-knowing and all-powerful god decides two men shouldn’t hook up? Hey, I don’t get it either, but who are we to doubt omniscience?

Okay, so lotsa men don’t like gays (and, therefore, gay marriage) because they feel it’s icky. After finally mentioning religious teachings, Flam also cites a study by Leon Kass, who worked with President Bush: “Kass’ essay focused not on gay marriage, but on human cloning, which, he wrote, makes us uneasy for a reason.” This is like citing an essay on the Panic of 1837 in my hypothetical Civil War column.

But, really, it all comes down to one thing: We (not me, but the royal “American”) hate gays because we hate smokers. And, ah, carnivores.

Rozin suggests that liberals tend to go after smokers partly for the same reason. It’s far from a perfect analogy, and I’m not really bothered by smokers. To me, slaughterhouses are disgusting and cast doubt on the morality of buying supermarket steak (although not enough to stop me from eating a hamburger at a barbecue).

And what do they call cigarettes in England? I rest my case.

Carnal Knowledge | What fuels the hatred of homosexuality? [Inquirer]

Leftovers: Philadelphia, Somewhere In The USA

• Behold, the Action News graphic for the Pier 34 murder trial. Yes, we Philadelphians are now too stupid to even know where the hell we are if the TV news doesn’t point it out to us. [6 ABC]

• You can all stop sending me this story about the stolen puppy. First off, I’m sure it’s a fine pup, but it’s not nearly cute enough for me to steal. Second off, I was in a different part of Egg Harbor City that night. [NBC 10]

• Gay Marriage is unlikely in Jersey, as the legislators are likely to simply pass civil union laws instead. Sez an anti-civil union state senator in need of some rephrasing: “If all of a sudden we deemed that a white man that marries a black woman would be denied benefits, that’s equal protection.” [Press of AC]

• Curt Weldon earmarked money to the company whose director bought Terrell Owens’ NFC Championship ring. Heh. [Inquirer]

Watch Out, First-Born Sons Of Jersey

Today’s Daily News column by Christine Flowers takes on the New Jersey court’s ruling the other day, which gave the legislature six months to pass a law for gay civil unions or one for gay marriage.

Flowers, of course, is against gay marriage, and even gay civil unions. I sort of get the anti-gay marriage position, since lots of people like to say “this is our ball and we’re not letting you play with it.” Lame, but whatever. But opposition to gay civil unions — i.e., letting gay partners have all the benefits of marriage if the couple wishes to — just strikes me as absurd. Oh, those queers! If they get spousal privileges in court and hospital visitation rights I will just blow my stack!

To be honest, I think it’d be better if marriage wasn’t sanctioned by the government. When’s the last time the government did anything successful? Right. If I were to get married, I’d rather have it not government-sanctioned. It’d totally have a much better shot at succeeding. What’s the divorce rate right now, about 50 percent? Like most things, marriage is another government failure.

But anyway, Ms. Flowers is against the New Jersey court’s ruling, because… it… it could cause brothers and sisters to enter into civil unions of their own! Uhm, okay. Not to get all John Stossel on you, but, really, who cares? (And the prohibition on cousin/sibling/etc. marriage is because of the creepy kids you’d get, right? Because no one has premarital sex nowadays!)

Alright, alright, let’s finish this up: Flowers uses an interesting technique in this article. It’s what scholars of rhetoric called “calling your opponents children and then telling them they’re going to burn in hell.”

THERE’S AN interesting scene in “The Ten Commandments” where Yul Brynner, as the pharaoh, decides to show everyone that his word is law.

Like a petulant child worried that he’s not being taken seriously, Egypt’s absolute ruler juts out his chin, squares his shoulders and says, “So let it be written, so let it be done.” Which basically means, my way or the highway. Of course, having a temper tantrum can lead to bad things, like a plague of locusts and such. [...]

But the court doesn’t get to make that call. The legislature does. Bad things happen when we forget our place. Pharaoh could tell you that.

Ho ho! Get it? A plague of locusts on New Jersey for its intolerant ways of letting gay and lesbian couples share health insurance!

Christine M. Flowers | NEW JERSEY COURT’S PYRAMID SCHEME [Daily News]
Kissing Cousins [N.Y. Sun]
Earlier today: Abridged
‘Daily News’ Columnists

Jersey Gays Closer To Spousal Privilege Rights

As briefly noted yesterday, New Jersey’s high court ruled yesterday that the state could not restrict the rights of two same-sex people to enter into a binding legal contract equal to that of marriage between a man and a woman. In short, gays can marry but the state doesn’t have to call it “marriage.”

The state legislature in Jerz now has 180 days to either pass a gay marriage law or a gay civil unions law. Not sure exactly what the difference is, but surely people on both sides will be tremendously up in arms over it for the next 180 days. (And probably even longer.)

Of course, since the ruling came so close to the November 7 elections, observers are wondering if it could effect them. Will Bunch, writing in the Daily News, says that “[m]any experts were surprised that the court, which has a 4-3 Republican majority, ruled on the political hot potato right before the Nov. 7 election.”

So the pro-gay rights court ruling is most certainly a Republican plot, right? Not so fast, says some asshole. League of American Families director John Tomicki is pissed!

“That’s our history. That’s our tradition. That’s what the law is in an overwhelming majority of this country and this court has decided in their judicial arrogance to go ahead and legislate from the bench.”

Oh no, our tradition will surely be ruined by lesbians getting hospital visitation rights with their partners! Our tradition of gaybashing is surely ruined!

Small step down the aisle [Daily News]
NJ Gay Marriage Ruling Could Impact Elections [KYW 1060]
Gay Marriage Opponents Angry Over NJ Ruling [KYW 1060]

Leftovers: Ban Hooligan Marriage

• Lest you think the Joe Vento story was the only time when idiots talk on the news, the Pennsylvania Marriage Protection Act is bringing out stupid comments all over. Especially after yesterday when the Senate version of the bill was amended to not include anything about civil unions. (Which is, uh, a step forward, but still.) [Inky]

• Another advantage of the World Cup: News articles that include the word “hooligan” over and over. [SI.com]

• Theft of the day: “Community Christian Day School, Sat-Sun, 12 tricycles, gray with red wheels, from wooden shed, $2,400 value.” [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Hey, ECW’s back! Apparently. But, uh, it might be a bit much: “The project got trickier in the past wek as the Sci-Fi Channel people had a meeting with Vince McMahon. They made suggestions including Martians and Vampires as characters. They also suggested storyline ideas including one where ECW wrestlers would go into other dimensions. Some compromises were reached and the Martians won’t be invading ECW this summer, but there will be a Vampire group.” [Can't Stop The Bleeding]

Language Change Frightens Clark DeLeon

Clark DeLeon’s Metro column today avoids defending the little guy and instead attacks him (and him and her and her) by explaining his opposition to gay marriage.

Unlike others, DeLeon’s opposition to gay marriage isn’t because of religious or squeamish reasons. At least that’s not what he says. It’s due to the fact that, well, letting two people of the same sex marry would just confuse him:

I don’t know why the state decided that one man can’t marry two women, or that two women can’t marry a 12-year-old boy, but I agree with those prohibitions on an intuitive level. … Forget the arguments, both legal and emotional. Consider the fate of the language. Remember when “partner” meant a co-equal in business or tennis? Subtlely, noticeably, people don’t use the word “partner” the way they used to. Without knowing why, I always hated the word “queer.” Now it’s in the name of a TV show. The rules of language — the meaning of words — changes. But certain words have immutable definitions.

You hear that gays! You’ve already ruined the word partner and Clark DeLeon doesn’t want anyone thinking his tennis partner is his gay partner! You selfish bastards, wanting this whole “gay marriage” thing without thinking what it does to poor Metro columnists.

State of marriage complex enough [Metro]
May 30: Goliath vs. Goliath

Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment Fails In House, PIMP Act Still Has A Way To Go

If you weren’t aware, today is apparently a holiday. It’s National Anti-Gay Marriage Day, where leaders from both political parties get all high and mighty and debate whether President Bush has a right to stop two dudes or gals from signing a lifelong, binding contract.

Constitutional amendments need 60 votes to pass in the Senate, and this one managed to lose outright, 49-48. (Huzzah, huzzah.) Of course, the press has been telling us this is just a political ploy to shore up the base and get people’s minds from Iraq, gas prices and whatever else is bad right now. That’s probably right, but it’s also a much easier idea to get your head around, too. I mean, it’s easier to think of politicians as opportunists who don’t mind using gays to as a way to score political points. Thinking of it another way is, well, almost scary. Right?

Speaking of scary, here in Pennsylvania our lovely legislators — when not voting themselves pay raises* — have their own Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages, which actually passed in the House. The Pennsylvania Marriage Protection Act, or the PIMP Act, would ban gay marriage as well as limit municipalities from recognizing civil unions of same-sex persons. It would also, apparently, defend marriages, although I’m not quite sure how.

For some reason, the PIMP Act still has to be ratified by the Senate and the House and Senate again in 2007 before being put out to the voters on the ballot. This will bring conservatives out the polls, presumably for that bastion of conservative elections, the Philadelphia mayoral race.

Pray they don’t hold it until ‘08.

Penna. House Passes State Constitutional Amendment Banning Gay Marriages [KYW 1060]
Gay Marriage Ban Falls Short of Majority [AP/KYW 1060]

*This clause copyrighted by John Baer, Daily News columnist, and John Grogan, puppydog and Inquirer scribe.

Quickies: Kid Gloves

• The Philadelphia School District has banned workers from listening to music on their computers, since the students can’t play music in school. This is lame; the best part about being an adult (I’m told) is that you get to do things that kids can’t? Why ruin everyone’s fun, School District? [Daily News]

• An anti-gay marriage letter to the U.S. Senate had Cardinal Justin Rigali’s name on it. This should surprise anyone who’s never heard of any religion, let alone Catholicism. [Philadelphia Gay News]

• Barbaro is doing much better, thank you very much. Hooray! Money quote: “My hope for him is that he lives a painless life. Whether that means he’ll be a stallion with little Barbaros, that would be the extreme hope for him.” Would that painless life involve being forced to run around a track while being whipped? [AP/Metro]

• Apparently, one Camden school collected money for field trips when — whoops! — the school district pays for the trips. We can do that? say Philadelphia schools? Now we can get textbooks that go past Chester A. Arthur! [Inky]