Punk Kids Ruining Bars Now, Too

With the smoking ban in place since whenever the second version of the bill went into effect — early January? — our bars are now free of the lung cancer and everyone just goes outside to smoke. Or something like that; all my science knowledge comes from episodes of Beakman’s World I’m only half paying attention to.

But since it is now illegal to smoke in bars, a much more sinister pollutant has wafted into our city’s restaurants. I’m speaking, of course, of children.

Yes, lots of parents now bring their kids to good old fashioned bar/restaurants — the ever popular gastro-pub — instead of going to Denny’s. And while this means business is up, it also means there are punk kids in Standard Tap, Monk’s and probably even Dirty Frank’s. Okay, probably not Dirty Frank’s.

And the kids are, apparently, not just annoying punk kids. They’re super-smart kids, perhaps from Baby’s Day Out or that creepy movie where the babies become geniuses (Baby Geniuses?). The co-owner of the Standard Tap says it’s like, European, man: “In Europe, bars are part of the community, and we are, first and foremost, a community place. And I’m impressed with kids who come to our place. They order food with autonomy and knowledge. There are a lot of pretty sophisticated kids in the area.”

And, as usual, the Philly.com comments sum up my reaction nicely:

It’s also a very European thing to leave your children in hotel rooms so their parents go out drinking with other couples when everyone is on ‘holiday’. That ended great for that kid Madeline.

See? Slippery slope. First our children are hanging out in bars, then who knows what happens next?

Smoking ban brings more kids to dinner [Inquirer]