Gas Is Cheap, Somehow

I realize that gas prices are something more affected by instability globally than those of other products, but I love the wording of this headline. Still: The most expensive gas in Jersey is $1.89! Remember when we were kinda sorta prosperous (or at least pretending to be prosperous, by buying houses) and gas was, say, $3.00 or $4.00 and we complained a ton?

No, me neither. I sold my car a while ago. But at least I don’t get a 50-cent surcharge in cabs anymore!

Most Important NBC 10 Slideshow Ever

This, my friends, is what we call “service journalism.”

Foods That Help Fight Gas [NBC 10]

High Gas Prices? Blame NASCAR.

There’s an excellent letter to the editor in the current edition of the Northeast Times, about high gas prices. The letter blames several people and/or groups for the high price of gas, but most notable are these two:

The second is a group of people, who many probably do not even think about: Race car drivers like NASCAR. They use the same gas we do. They have to put gas in the trucks that transport the race cars. If NASCAR did not exist, there would automatically be less demand for gas, and therefore more of a supply. And let’s not forget the fans that expend gas traveling to these events.

The third group consists of store owners. If we lived in a perfect world, we could go to one place and purchase everything that we needed, from groceries to clothes to auto parts, etc. But we do not live in a perfect world and businesses are shuffled all across neighborhoods, towns and cities. In reality, we cannot fault store owners, though. They have to purchase properties where they can.

And what about NASCAR drivers who drive to the stores? Those greedy shop owners, not selling every product imaginable, and instead only having specialty shops that sell “ice cream” or “compact discs” or whatever!

I do like the idea of lowering gas prices by eliminating NASCAR and making every store a Wal-Mart. Don’t they have the same clientele?

Update: Hey, look, NASCAR actually answered this complaint back in 2004 on its official website. Er, well, not really, it just mentioned other ways we Americans waste gas.

5/29 Letters [Northeast Times]

76-Cent Gas Causes Stir

Fox 29 on Friday featured a report on 76-cent gas prices at the Lukoil station at Delaware and Spring Garden; the 76-minute long promotion was sponsored by the 76ers.

But drivers started filling up with 76-cent gas a little early and — whoops! — the promotion ended about 15 minutes early. The Fox report features angered drivers claiming “They lied to us!” and “They owe us 16 minutes!” Apparently everything was straightened out in the end, but not before some screaming.

Redlasso video after the jump (includes Kerri-Lee Halkett intro, naturally).

More »

Obama To Make All Gas Free

Hey, let’s post some more political ads. Look, it’s some union PAC (or whatever) sponsoring an ad where people tell you gas prices are high and that Barack Obama will magically make them lower. So it’s essentially the same thing as that other Barack Obama ad, except this one is from an independent group.

Yes, he doesn’t take money from oil companies! We know that already! Now will you people just tell us if he hates America or not?

Terror Behind The Bulletproof Glass

Eastern State Penitentiary sent us this sweet press kit for Terror Behind the Walls today that has an old-timey giant key along with assorted photos and press releases. But here’s the real scary thing, the title:

Russian gas conglomerates: Terrifying.

N.J. Gas: As Cheap As Bottled Water

Gas prices recently hit an all-time record high of $3.18, besting the previous inflation-adjusted high of $3.15.

While our neighbors to the east are still paying through the nose for gas, New Jersey still has the cheapest gas prices in the country.

New Jersey retained the lead in the race to have the cheapest average gas price, but it is quickly approaching the $3 a gallon threshold itself. The average price there came in at $2.938 a gallon in the Monday reading, up from $2.93 Sunday.

That’s how cheap Jersey gas is: Stations sell it in prices ending in 8/10.

Gas prices: Worse than ‘81 oil shock [CNNMoney.com]
[Photo via]

New Jersey Church Discovers Masturbation Bans No Longer Attracting Converts, Sells 99-Cent Gas Instead

The “Liquid Church,” a Somerset County-based nondenominational Christian church, decided to cancel services yesterday and instead sold gas really cheap. (Take that, Catholics!)

The church’s pastor, Tim Lucas, explained: “We called off services today because we wanted our service to be serving our neighbors instead. We say, ‘The church has left the building.’” (Later, Lucas explained that those who live their lives without religion make him say, “Where’s the beef?”) The church paid about $4,000 to subsidize the cheap gas, and members of the congregation wore knit hats bearing a cross, a liquid drop and a gas pump.

The church’s 250 volunteers — about half the congregation — made sure that the event was not just a quickie fill-up. Some handed out food, some cleaned windows and tires, some explained about the church to volunteers and others prayed for filler-uppers who needed some help.

The event was all smiles and all the quotes in the Courier-Post article are all rainbows and glitter. (Seriously. Who knew you could make people so happy with just a little 99-cent-a-gallon gas? Even the station’s owner bought pizza for everyone.) Some, though, wished this was a more common occurence:

“This is excellent. I really appreciate it, and everybody is real nice too,” said Karel Zerjav of Bernardsville who heard about the cheap gas from a neighbor. “Every pump should do this.”

Every gas station with a church, that is.

‘Liquid Church’ offers cheap gas [Camden Courier-Post]

It’s A Gas On Taxes

Here’s a pair of headlines, conveniently right on top of each other, on the front page of Philly.com yesterday:

The moral of the story? Raise gas prices to three or four bucks a gallon if you want, but if you make people pay an extra penny in taxes for every dollar they spend, they’ll fight you to the death.

Wheels just keep rolling despite high cost of gas [Inquirer]
Already fed up with the 7% tax [Inquirer]

Leftovers: Fen Branklin, I Presume?

• Ladies and gentlemen, the worst Ben Franklin impersonator ever! [Lookalike.com]

• The Daily Show investigates why New Jersey residents can’t pump their own gas. Turns out, it has something to do with mullets. Who knew? [Video Dog (Salon)]

• Salon also investigates that anti-gay marriage amendment and says it’s just a big ploy to the base that gets kinda queasy when two guys kiss. Really, Salon? Gee, I never knew. [Salon]

• The city had its lawsuit against 17 online tourism companies thrown out, which means not only did we not get the full taxes we said we did in the lawsuit, but we lost money filing this suit, too. But wait! “The city has hired a private local law firm, Berger & Montague P.C., to pursue the litigation. As payment, it will receive 30 percent of the money collected for the city.” Huzzah, huzzah! [Inquirer]

• Let’s end this day with some puppies. [Flickr]