Abridged Daily News Columnists

John Baer: Who will Pennsylvania vote for — the America-hater who rips up a flag every morning or the lying liar who’s married to the dude who lied under oath? Oh, there is only one more day of this — that’s the most important thing.

Gar Joseph: This isn’t bad. The best one is the first one, “Now that it’s a hot issue, who will be the first legislator to introduce a bill making flag-pin wearing mandatory?”

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Stu Bykofsky: Reader mail! Surely there’s nothing else going on in the city I could weight in on, bitches!

Gar Joseph: Clout’s A-Z guide to the primary.

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Gar Joseph: New Year’s resolutions written for politicians! Another in the ongoing series of “Yearly Newspaper Traditions I Didn’t Know About.”

Deborah Leavy: How dare you buy a product where a portion of the proceeds is donated to charity!

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Uhh… nothing, really. There’s Gar Joseph’s column, but that’s a bunch of stories and is hard to encapsulate in one sentence. But his stuff is usually pretty good, so, ah, maybe you want to read that.

Abridged Daily News columnists

Gar Joseph: Hrmm… not much going on, what should I write about… I got it! A gimmick column with New Year’s resolutions from local politicos!

Stu Bykofsky: The Mummers parade is great, but it’s not great enough for Byko, bitches! If you make it (actual quote) “faster and funner” — get this — I’ll never write about it again!