Fumo Needs New Lawyer, Back Surgery

A judge ruled today embattled state senator Vince Fumo could find a new lawyer after he decided he didn’t want Richard Sprague representing him anymore.

This move was a bit odd, since Fumo and Sprague spent the summer attempting to keep Sprague on the case when prosecutors attempting to DQ the lawyer to the rich and indicted because he wanted to fight under rules endorsed by the Marquess of Queensberry in the 1860s.

Fumo said he wants 60 days to find a new lawyer, so he can delay the trial until after the Democratic primary have him review the case thoroughly. Oh, Fumo’s also having back surgery because he threw it out chasing after the city’s hot anchorbabes or something.

Judge OKs Fumo-Sprague split [Inquirer]

Fumo: Convict Me And Democracy Collapses

Vince Fumo’s lawyers Tuesday filed motions asking the judge to drop all charges because, well, everything he did was just hunky-dory and the federal government doesn’t know how the state legislature works.

The federal government is the world’s second most inane bureaucracy behind the Pennsylvania legislature, so maybe Fumo is on to something here. Apparently, the state senate allows senators to set the hours of their employees, so anything they do can be off senate time, or whatever.

Prosecutors also charged Fumo bilked Citizens Alliance out of money, while his lawyers say he didn’t do anything wrong; in fact, all his so-called “bilking” was done out in the open. “The indictment merely alleges Fumo exercised de facto control of Citizens,” his lawyer, Mark B. Sheppard, wrote.

But the number one defense in the Fumo filing was the alleged email deletion, a crime if Fumo & Co. knew there was an investigation going on. Drumroll, please:

But Fumo’s lawyers wrote that the deletion of e-mails was part of a longstanding office policy to preserve confidential communications that predated the probe.

Fumo was charged under a statute that makes it a crime to knowingly destroy records that would impede the investigation of any matter by any federal agency or actions taken “in contemplation” of an investigation. [Hmm.—dmac]

Sheppard said the statute “potentially criminalizes” the deletion of “any” e-mails because they could someday be sought for investigative purposes. This would have a “chilling” effect on free speech, he said.

I’m feeling kind of cold already. Good thing Gmail has two gigs of storage, or else I’d be in jail!

Fumo lawyers ask judge to toss most charges [Daily News]

Fumo Puts Trust In Ancient Way Of Studying Jewish Texts / Annoying Fad Among Celebrities Two Or So Years Ago

Dan Gross reports today that Vince Fumo isn’t just putting all his trust in lawyer-to-the-rich and indicted / Queensbury rules boxer Richard Sprague.

While meeting with Angie Everhart — duh — Vince Fumo was spotted wearing a Kabbalah bracelet. Kabbalah, if you didn’t know, is an ancient Jewish mystic tradition that’s popular with Madonna for some reason.

The bracelet was a gift from Rabbi Solomon Isaacson, of Congregation Beth Solomon in the Northeast. The rabbi gave Fumo the bracelet on Feb. 6 in Harrisburg just before Fumo delivered a speech denouncing federal prosecutors who leveled a 139-count indictment at him the next day. The bracelet is meant to ward off evil, says Isaacson, who has also given one to Mayor Street.

Fumo’s spokesman, Gary Tuma, said Friday that the senator “hopes it brings him good luck.”

With Vince Fumo now wearing a Kabbalah bracelet, it’s only time before he attempts to include other celebrity trends in his defense. I’ll be looking soon for Skylar Fumo, adopted directly from a poor family in Malawi.

Dan Gross | Fumo’s good-luck charm [Daily News]

Vince Fumo Couldn’t Just Use MAB Paints

The Inquirer’s Alfred Lubrano, who last wrote about what some random people in South Philly think of Vince Fumo, has a nice article today delving into the indictment to find out just what the hell was up with those $100 cans of paint Fumo allegedly bought with state money.

The paint purchases, totally thousands of dollars according to the indictment, were from Hollandlac brand, imported from the Netherlands and so much better than that old cheap store bought American paint.

“It’s absolutely the most expensive paint in the United States,” he added.

American-made paints, Lahey scoffed, are made with fillers and extenders that weaken and cheapen it. Get dirt on a wall, and you’ll strip off a coat when you wash it.

Not Lahey’s paint, Hollandlac (formerly known as Hascolac).

So proud is Lahey of his thick, liquid gold that his Web site connects highfalutin Hollandlac to the paints used by Rembrandt and Vermeer. Their masterly influence apparently improved Dutch paint through the centuries.

Thus, the paint-thirsty walls of Fumo’s Citizens’ Alliance benefited from this happy confluence of art and commerce.

“Hollandlac,” Lahey said, “is used only by discriminating homeowners.” [...]

“I can’t envision anyone who’d spend 100 bucks a gallon for paint,” [some paint guy] said. “It is a very excessive price. The only people who might be willing to pay that much would be people for whom money is no object.”

Well, or those whom other people’s money is no object.

Fumo’s brush with greatness, $100 a gallon [Inquirer]
Feb. 8: Soft, Tender Fumo: $2.99 A Pound

Vince Fumo Is All Over The City’s Anchorwomen

Last week, Daily News gossip writer Dan Gross reported Vince Fumo was smitten with Alycia Lane and had dinner with her several times in an attempt to woo her with his plans to raise alpacas and his many Oreck vacuum cleaners.

(Gross also said she went to an Eagles game with Fumo, but Lane emailed him to say she hadn’t been to an Eagles game “nor any other sporting event” with him. Hmm. Nor any other sporting event. My guess is they went and saw some sort of pseudo-sport, like poker or NASCAR.)

Today, Gross reports Lane wasn’t the only one Fumo wanted to get under the covers: In addition to Lane, he also wanted Kerri-Lee Halkett. Gasp!

Shortly after Halkett started at Fox 29 in 2002, she was invited by her neighbors Ruth Arnao and Mitch Rubin, the state Turnpike Commission chief, to join the couple and Fumo for dinner at the Capital Grille (1338 Chestnut).

The dinner was the only time Halkett and Fumo had met, but according to a friend of Halkett’s, a Fumo friend later told the anchor that Fumo was interested in dating her. Halkett, who had a boyfriend at the time, did not pursue any political hanky-panky.

Both issued the usual denials. In other news, I think Jessica Borg and Erin O’Hearn will soon be enjoying dinners at the Palm.

Update, 6:00 p.m.: The Fox 5 o’clock news reminds me that I am now getting links from a women-wearing-boots fetish messageboard to this post.

Dan Gross | More on the Vince [Daily News]
Feb. 8: 63-Year-Old Man Lusts For Thirtysomething

Richard Sprague To Defend Fumo, Gentleman Jim Corbett

Lawyer to the rich and indicted Richard Sprague defended Vince Fumo on the 139 various counts he was charged with, yesterday. I was kind of hoping Sprague would have Fumo get up there and read the “Honest Graft” speech and then walk out knocking reporters aside with sweeping arm gestures.

Unfortunately, Sprague didn’t even let Fumo talk. But he did give a fun, 75-minute press conference of his own. Among the highlights:

• Quoth Sprague: “Ask yourself: What is to prevent someone who is devoted, dedicated to their boss, Vince Fumo, to knock themselves out and, beyond their Senate time, do activities that make his time more efficient and make him more effective as a state senator?”
• Quoth him again: “How do you make headlines as a prosecutor? I know all the tricks of the trade… . When you have a weak case, throw in the kitchen sink. Throw everything you possibly can in the indictment. Maybe something will stick.” Later, Sprague compared the indictment for the Unabomber (8 pages) with that of Fumo (272 pages).
• And once more: “Hopefully, they are… using the FBI to get Osama bin Laden and not Vince Fumo, but what I am saying is that they, from on high, do have a policy of using local U.S. attorneys to try to get effective Democrats.” Vince Fumo, State Senator from Pennsylvania, thorn in the side of the national GOP.
• Sprague said he intended to fight this charge using Queensbury rules. To those of you who aren’t 81-year-olds, Queensbury rules are old-timey boxing rules originally published in 1867.

Sprague accuses U.S. of ‘malice’ [Daily News]
Fumo’s lawyer: Charges political [Inquirer]
Fumo defense: Blame Bush [Metro]

Soft, Tender Fumo: $2.99 A Pound

Seems everyone has an opinion on State Sen. Vince Fumo’s indictment. (That’s him with notedHepatitis B research mascot Oliver in the photo at right, by the way.) Well, I’m sure that’s not true. In fact, it doesn’t even sound like that. But like most journalists, I’m too lazy to fix the lead. And I’ve even used this same lazy lead joke before, making it doubly worse.

Er, anyway, so remember back when Justice Antonin Scalia gave an obscene gesture to a reporter and said “Fuck you” in Italian? Eh, no, you probably don’t. But you might remember Joe Bubbles, who the Inquirer interviewed as part of an article about what people in South Philly thought about it.

Well, it’s been almost a year since that article, and so the Inquirer decided to send Alfred Lubrano to South Philly to do some man-on-the-street interviews to find out what people south of Washington Avenue think about Fumo’s indictment.

The people of South Philly are divided on the issue, as such, but a trip to the Melrose Diner (natch) led to this flowery writing:

During lunch at the Melrose Diner, prime rib and eggplant were the specials, but at least one customer at the counter was chewing on Fumo, savoring the taste of a man who might be cooked.

When reading a food metaphor, I always wonder if the writer was just hungry.

In South Philadelphia, fans and foes weigh Fumo’s fall [Inquirer]
March 31, 2006: Meet Joe Bubbles

63-Year-Old Man Lusts For Thirtysomething

Reading through the Vince Fumo indictment, it’s easy to come to one conclusion: Fumo gets more ass than a toilet seat.

In the indictment, two girlfriends are mentioned as well as Fumo’s ex-wife. And these are just the ones that are mentioned. Who knows how much tail he has. Does he have one for all of his 19 Oreck vacuums? Did he woo his girlfriends with alpacas?

However, there was one woman the 63-year-old state senator couldn’t get. Dan Gross reports:

WITH the allegations against state Sen. Vince Fumo, it seems like a wise decision for CBS 3 anchor Alycia Lane not to have become romantically involved with him. [...]

We’re told Fumo developed a crush on Lane shortly after she debuted on CBS 3 in 2003. The two had dinner a number of times, but always with others. Lane also joined Fumo in his suite at the Linc for at least one Eagles game last season.

While sources say the 63-year-old senator was smitten with the 35-year-old anchorwoman, we’re told Lane did not share his feelings and the pair never became romantic. A source close to Fumo says the senator and Lane have “been friends for years,” and has “no knowledge” of whether Fumo was trying to court her.

When a normal 63-year-old develops a crush on a cute anchorwoman, here’s what they call it: Stalking. (Or, I suppose, “mental Viagra.”) When Vince Fumo develops a crush on a cute anchorwoman, he gets to meet and attempt to seduce her.

My God, I should have gone into politics. Think what a 24-year-old could do!

Dan Gross | Vince and the anchorwoman [Daily News]

DiCicco Too Sexy For This Federal Indictment

All the names of people not being charged on federal indictments — like, say, oh I don’t know, the Vince Fumo one — are redacted due to policy. However, there are explanations of the businesses, positions, what have you, of the unidentified people. But if a politician is indicted, reporters usually figure out who the important unidentified people are. (Yesterday, for example, the Inquirer named Fumo’s girlfriends.)

The Daily News discusses two of the now-identified politicos named in the indictment today. Your lucky couple? City Councilman Frank DiCicco and state Turnpike Commission Chairman Mitchell Rubin, come on down!

Rubin won’t comment, but DiCicco will. The indictment alleges Citizens Alliance for Better Neighborhoods — Fumo’s nonprofit — employees spent two weeks installing hardwood floors at a rehab DiCicco and his son bought. It also alleges that, when it snows, Citizens Alliance would remove snow from that DiCicco house and other places before clearing its own property. (Meanwhile, the indictment says Rubin and Fumo went to Cuba.)

Talking to the DN’s Bob Warner, DiCicco says he thought employees were working on their own time, not on Citizens Alliance’s. And he denies getting any favors:

“I’m not saying, if we needed help carrying an appliance up the stairs at 2 in the afternoon, and one of those Citizens Alliance guys was around, we wouldn’t say, ‘Give us a hand,’ ” DiCicco said. “They were around all the time; their place is just a block away.”

Oh, did I say deny? I meant admit. And what better use for a nonprofit meant to improve the neighborhood than by carrying a City Councilman’s washer up the stairs?

DiCicco, of course, isn’t charged with anything. (And it wasn’t his nonprofit. What’s he going to do, turn down good help?) He says he was only mentioned in the indictment, for… well:

“I think if I did anything wrong, I’d be a target like the others,” he said, speculating that federal prosecutors had mentioned him in their indictment “to make it look more sexy.”

Yeah, adding a City Councilman to these federal indictments really sexes it up. Everyone is abuzz over Frank DiCicco being mentioned in a federal indictment. Yeah, everyone’s paying attention to it now just because of Right Said Frank!

2 friends tainted, but not charged [Daily News]

FBI Ruins Fumo’s Shot Becoming Pennsylvania’s Greatest Alpaca Farmer With A Bobblehead

From the Vince Fumo indictment (.pdf) comes this email, allegedly sent by Fumo himself:

Were are we with the Farm Planner? I want to start laying out the pastures, and pond and barn locations, etc.!!! Also, I am thinking about raising Alpacas. I understand that they can be very profitable.

Also, a staffer admitted in an email this was one of his duties, while complaining about other staffers:

I would like to see their reaction if they had to wrap 150 VJF bobble head dolls and mail them.

Bobbleheads, alpacas… this is the most entertaining thing I’ve read all year.

Fumo Indictment (272 pages, .pdf) [via Inquirer]