Brave Editor Comes Out Against F-Bomb

Former Phillies pitcher Mitch Williams is now banned from his daughter’s basketball games for saying “fuck” during a game.

Overreaction? Sure. But overreaction usually comes with a nice dose of moral superiority:

The apology isn’t doing much for Ron Martin, who oversees referees as the Camden Board 34 independent assigner. He said yesterday that he called St. Mary of the Lakes to say that although the season ended last night, if Williams “is going to appear at any games next year, we will not officiate them. If he enters the gym in the middle of a game, we will stop officiating.” Martin is executive editor of the Burlington County Times. “A lot of people challenge calls, but when someone hits on one of the magic words, we can’t tolerate that stuff,” he said.

Oh, wah, wah, wah. Yeah, don’t let him see his kid play because he said “fuck.” You showed ‘em, Ron! Plus, the editor doth protest too much. I can only assume the officiating was really terrible.

What the hell kind of league is this, anyway? Kids cursed all the time when I played on JV basketball in sixth grade; I can only assume it’s greater now, with what all the kids influenced by idiots like me that cursing is cool. And it is, kids! It’s just as cool as smoking cigarettes but without any of the terrible side effects like death.

Dan Gross: Mitch Williams still a little ‘Wild’ [Daily News]

Who Cursed Out Who? Scranton Toilet Case Intensifies

Dawn Herb — the famed Scranton toilet curser — had her day in court yesterday, entering a plea of not guilty.

Herb is charged with disorderly conduct and faces up to 90 days in prison and a $300 fine. Here’s how the Scranton Times-Tribune describes the story:

Patrolman [Gerald] Tallo, however, has maintained that Ms. Herb was creating a public disturbance, according to a police report. He alleges she was yelling and cursing, using the “f-word” so loud in her residence that she could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

Also, he claims that Patrolman Gilman asked Ms. Herb to “watch her mouth, that there were young children in the neighborhood.” This response, Patrolman Tallo said, was met by Ms. Herb saying “fuck you.”

Ms. Herb’s version differs from that of the police. She said her neighbor told her to “Shut the fuck up,” and her response was “Mind your own business.”

Telling the patrolman (or the toilet) to fuck off is certainly the right of every American. The ACLU is expected to defend her against the unconstitutional charges; she’ll be in court Nov. 8. The toilet is expected to be charged with disturbing the peace sometime later this week.

Herb is also expected to compete in the Loudest Person Ever contest, since apparently she could be heard all over Scranton, far and wide.

Woman enters not-guilty plea in toilet tirade with discussion [Times-Tribune]

Scranton Woman Cited For Cursing At Toilet

When [whoever, look up on Wikipedia before you post] wrote the Bill of Rights, he probably should have stopped after five words. But the next couple words weren’t so bad, either, since it gave us the right to freedom of speech, along with a couple of other super-cool freedoms. An American is free to say he thinks Hitler’s mustache was cute, free to worship God, Jesus or Barbaro, free to print a newspaper that says President Bush is an alien and free to have a job posting stupid jokes on a stupid blog.

Freedom of speech has its limits, though, apparently. Take the case of West Scranton’s Dawn Herb, who could face 90 days in jail and a $300 fine for cursing at her toilet.

Herb was attempting to get her toilet to stop overflowing when she called it a “fucking child rapist asshole motherfucker.” Or, rather, she didn’t call it that, but the article doesn’t say what she said, so I made something up with a bunch of curses in it. She admits saying some “choice words,” though, and her neighbor (a police officer) heard them.

“The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop,” she said. “A guy is yelling, ‘Shut the fuck up,’ and I yelled back, ‘Mind your own business.’ ”

After somebody told this woman to “shut the fuck up,” neighbor Patrick Gilman (an off-duty police officer), called the cops and had her arrested for disorderly conduct! In her own house! The citation accuses Herb of cursing “with intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm or recklessly (creating) a risk.”

So, if you’re wondering, apparently it’s illegal to annoy me now. Enjoy the archives of this website, ladies and gentlemen, because I am certainly going to jail for a life now.

West Side woman faces jail time for swearing at toilet [Scranton Tribune]