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About What You’d Expect From Fox

Still, you just have to give them credit for being so open about it.

Philly Incompetence Strikes Again

Here’s a Fox News report about polling places in West Philadelphia. GEE I WONDER WHAT THE REPORT WILL BE ABOUT. Yes, that’s right, Republican poll watchers were manhandled by Democratic operatives and murdered and eaten and had their organs sold on the black market. Longtime readers (wow, you’re still here?) will remember this is essentially the same thing then-Daily Pennsylvanian blogger/wunderkind Stephen Morse did two years ago, only way more annoying. It’s simple Philadelphia incompetence, not any sort of plot to disenfranchise Republicans.

We do want your organs, though. This clip is from PW’s politics blog, which might be of interest to you today for reasons I can’t quite remember right now.

Fox News: GOP poll watchers intimidated in West Philly [Cup O'Joel]

Thanks, Fox News

Actual headline from FoxNews.com:

I don’t believe what I just saw.

Hip-Hop-Dancing Colin Powell Fuels Speculation He’ll Endorse Obama [Fox News]
Thanks, John

Troops In Danger Of Consuming Fake KFC

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The crack morning show team at Fox & Friends reported last week on a KFC now open in Fallujah. For some reason the U.S. military reported on the opening of a branch of the fried chicken chain, instead of some sort of company spokesperson. Anyway, the opening of a fried chicken restaurant in Fallujah meant that Iraqi citizens were no longer killing each other and were doing their killing the American way: To themselves, by clogging their arteries.

Anywho, it turns out the KFC in Fallujah is an unauthorized knockoff, as if you hadn’t already guessed. (Why else would I be writing about it?) TPMMuckraker got this comment from a KFC spokeschicken:

I understand you wanted some details about the store in Falluja that looks like a KFC. This store is not approved by KFC International and we have [been] working with the US Military to warn the troops of this situation.

Yes, please warn the troops immediately! We wouldn’t want them eating chicken not up to the colonel’s usual standards.

I also enjoyed this little bit at the end of the article:

We’ve also called the number of the faux KFC itself, but no one at the restaurant seems to speak English.

Gee, nobody seems to speak English at the bootleg KFC in Fallujah? I think they’re just stonewalling, scared of the muckraking about to take place. Someone will get to the bottom of this.

KFC In Fallujah? Too Finger-Licking Good To Be True [TPMMuckraker]

No Such Thing As Street Money?

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Some dude named “Donnie Fowler” (Al Gore’s field director in 2000, and what a bang-up job he did) was on Fox News today claiming there is no such thing as street money, even though there is, and it’s how politics is done in Philadelphia. But he says it’s just people getting a fair wage for working for a day for a politician. So… only $100 is a fair wage to Democrats for a hard day’s work? (Update: Well, if it’s cash…) How Republican of them.

I was a little confused, but then I got it: He’s on Fox News. Sticking to the “truth” isn’t what you do when you go on Fox News. Video after the jump.

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The Next Fox News Story Before You Know It

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These stories usually start with something like this, just a small article in the newspaper. Today’s Burlington County Times contains a small article about a group of praying moms asked to leave school property.

The group of moms began praying for Hawthorne Elementary School after a gun was fired outside another New Jersey elementary school. Oh, and the school called the police on the parents, so you know the Drudge Report is getting ready to link this. Of course, here’s the part that won’t get mentioned:

Three of the women, including Vaughn, are former employees at Hawthorne Elementary School. Vaughn said the three women were dismissed from their jobs as paraprofessionals at the end of last school year.

Also, they’re apparently blocking people from going into the school or something. This is really the best way to get back at your old employer.

Praying moms asked to leave [Burlington County Times]

Fox News Declares Rendell Reverse Oreo

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Via Philebrity, who’s doing some fun liveblogging of his own tonight, Fox News thinks Ed Rendell is.. uh… yeah:

Gov. Edward Rendell — one of only three black candidates running for governor — won the gubernatorial race in Pennsylvania, according to FOX News projections.

Well, he can dance, right?

Liveblog: Election ‘06 Results and Drinking [Philebrity]
2006 Elections [Fox News]

Joe Vento, America’s Expert On Everything

Man, those Metro staffers know everything. After yesterday’s Metro/Roots mashup, a different staffer of the free daily let us know yesterday afternoon about a special guest on television:

You must turn on Fox News..Joey Vento’s talking about Tom Cruise…Huh?

But of course. Isn’t Tom Cruise an illegal immigrant?

If anyone saw this and either has video or any description of it, please let us know.