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Angelic Anchoring

Kerri-Lee Halkett posted to her blog a recent report Ten O’Clock News aired on the existence of guardian angels. It’s a story almost as exciting as a hypercritical blogger telling you about it.

The gist of the story: People believe in guardian angels, and sometimes people attribute unexplained events to supernatural powers. There is also an extended interview with one of the stars of Touched by an Angel, which the report also notes “ran for nine seasons beginning in 1994.” (Emphasis mine.)

The report also has one of those incredible descriptions under a person’s name local television news can only provide: “NEJIE MIRANDA-SYLVESTER: BELIEVES IN ANGELS.” I really enjoyed the intro to the piece on the

Kerri-Lee Halkett: Alright, think about this: Have you ever thought you might have a Guardian Angel watching over you? Lots of people do, and many say they can even prove it.

Dawn Stensland: Yeah, I believe it.

Most Americans believe in guardian angels. But you think Stensland would at least wait until the report aired before telling us how she felt!

Photo by D’arcy Norman used under a Creative Commons license

Gun Sales… And Barack Obama?

Here’s an excellent Fox 29 promo to hopefully cheer you up this somber Martin Luther King Day. (Somber because of the Eagles, not the fine Rev. Dr.) My best guess is this story is actually pretty boring: Gun sales are rising before Obama’s presidency because people think he will enact new gun control laws. Possible? I guess, but it’s not like you still won’t be able to get guns. This is America, after all!

But let’s hope it’s something like, “People are expecting America to turn into a vast wasteland and these people are stocking up to guard their food silos!” Neat.

Forget Arizona, Bring On Bolaris!

Look, I’m excited about the Eagles. Very excited. But right now I cannot — cannot — stop laughing at the thought of a thousand angry Eagles fans cursing John Bolaris’ name when he suddenly appeared on the screen as the Eagles were about to beat the Giants and head to the NFC Championship. Then, it happened again, with ads for Verizon and Progressive Insurance.

All in all, not the best weekend for Bolaris. There’s this, and Saturday’s storm that failed to materialize, making the promo that interrupted the game about 100 times funnier. I’d stay inside for the next couple days if I were Bolaris.

This Is Everything I Love About The Local News

This was steel-jawed Sexy Single John Atwater, just now at the end of the 5 o’clock news (paraphrased, sorry, there’s no TiVo here):

“Reports say a giant asteroid could be headed straight for earth. Find out the chances of that happening and what you should know about it tonight at 10.”

To be fair, both Atwater and Dawn Stensland acted a bit incredulous that a giant asteroid was headed to destroy the earth. On the other hand, we don’t get to find out ’til after Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader whether the Earth is being destroyed, just like every other teaser on local TV.

Update, 10:23 p.m.: It just got previewed on the news. We should know soon, and I’ll let you know if the asteroid is going to hit the earth when John Atwater tells me.

Update, 10:32 p.m.: Dawn Stensland told us that there is a 1 in 44,000 chance of us being hit by an asteroid in 2036. Congress is on it, she said, so I assume we’ll all be dead by tomorrow. (Zing!)

Now they’re on to this story about a newborn with a foot in his head. Ooh, now they’re down at Geno’s!

Fox 29: Helping You, Unintelligibly

I caught this promo yesterday after football. This is like if the Micro Machines guy and the movie trailer voice guy mated. Truly, this is the next generation of news.

Drawing Of Man Will Save You From Home Invasion

Yes, this is, just like the photos below, fairly pointless. But who cares! Check out this snippet from Fox 29’s report last night on a home invasion near Temple; 10 seconds in, the camera shifts to a home’s window.

For those of you who want to put what I can only assume is an effective home-invasion deterrent in your window, a larger screenshot is after the jump.

More »

Guns! Guns! Guns!

In today’s edition of “awkward endings to local TV segments,” here’s a clip from yesterday’s Fox 29 5 o’clock news featuring Hugh Douglas. They were talking about Plaxico Burress, I guess.

Obama Up 1-0 Early

BREAKING NEWS: JOE BIDEN DID NOT FORGET TO VOTE TODAY.

Kerri-Lee Off The Market

Sorry for the delay in bringing you this important breaking Philadelphia Will Do news: Kerri-Lee Halkett got married!

Yes, the Fox 29 anchor with impeccable taste in interview subjects got hitched earlier this month in New Orleans to Kirt Mayland, a dude of some sort. Here’s the relevant funny part:

Friends say you won’t be seeing a ring on Halkett’s finger, but she did get a tattoo marking the wedding that will likely be visible only when she’s wearing a bikini. Mayland, we’re told, got “KL” tattooed on his left-hand ring finger.

Geeze, is there a news anchor story in Philadelphia that doesn’t involve bikinis in some way? I guess not. Anyway: Congratulations to the happy couple, matching tattoos and all.

In other news, Dorothy Krysiuk is leaving Good Day Philadelphia, with her last day on Halloween. Sadness! The long, slow breakup of the Mascot Monday dancers continues…

Dan Gross: Kerri-Lee Halkett ties the knot [Daily News]

News, Now With Lame Slogan

If you watched either the Phillies or the Eagles yesterday, you might’ve seen this promo a couple of times. (There’s also one that says “ACTION NEWS. OR NEWS WITH ACTION.“)

Or news with action!

Ho, ho, Fox 29! That’s the kind of underdog attitude that could make it in this town. But I wonder if advertising news on demand really works in 2008; I, for one, already know I can get news immediately on the Internet. Don’t most people?

Also shown during the Phillies game last night: Former Eagles defensive end/Ambassador of Fun Hugh Douglas wishing the Phillies good luck. I can’t believe the station’s Phillies slogan is actually, “Way to go.”