Santorum To Identify America’s Enemies By Buying Globe

Hey everybody: Rick Santorum’s back! And he’s an employee at a Washington-based think tank! And he’s in charge of the Ethics and Public Policy Center’s new “America’s Enemies” program!

Yes, our favorite ex-senator is now in charge of finding enemies for America, and will most likely be paid six figures for helping the think tank come up with ways to convince the president to nuke Iran. He’s also going to join a law firm, which means he’ll be able to send his kids to private school in Virginia, instead of having Pennsylvania taxpayers homeschool his Virginia-based family.

In the National Review Online article by John J. Miller, Santorum says he was a bit too pro-war in the fall — “Maybe that wasn’t the smartest political strategy, spending the last few months running purely on national security. I was even more hawkish than the president.” — and also addresses the name of his new department. In fact, he’s already carving up the world between America and, uh, America.

“It’s a stark name,” says Santorum. “But we wanted to be candid about the fact that America really does have enemies and to point out that the nature of these enemies is much more complex than what people realize. It’s not just Islamic fascism, but also Venezuela, North Korea, and, increasingly in my opinion, Russia.”

Huzzah, huzzah, my friends! Even though we voted him out of the Senate, Rick Santorum is still going to do his best to start some more pointless wars we can die in. Sweet.

Rick’s Return [NRO via Wonkette]