This Sums Up The Flyers Season Pretty Well

That’s Flyers left winger and enforcer Todd Fedoruk battling with the Rangers’ Colton Orr. Fedoruk — who has titanium plates in his face from an injury he suffered during a previous fight — and Orr began fighting just 21 seconds into the game.

Fedoruk is apparently okay except for his pride. He had a concussion and some short-term memory loss, but didn’t suffer any facial fractures or injuries.

The Flyers went on to lose 5-0. They’re now 20-54, with 51 points, nine behind the second-to-worst team in the NHL.

Rangers knock out the Flyers [Inquirer]

Delonte West: Clearly A Quaker

As you might know already, I’m a big fan of ex-St. Joe’s basketball player Delonte West, and not just because the front of his haircut is impeccably straight. But I’m also not just a fan of West because of his thoughts of what makes a good date or his recollections of his childhood.

No, I like West also because of his commitment to nonviolence, even in the face of attack. I’m a pacifist here, and I commend Delonte for his adherence to the cause, too.

The mayhem began after the [Celtics] lost to the Golden State Warriors at the TD Banknorth Garden when [West's girlfriend, Caryn] Taylor, 31, got into an argument with West’s sister, Danielle. Taylor, who had a “few cocktails” at the game, “pushed” Danielle West during the dispute, according to a police report.

The group hit downtown hotspot District after the game where Delonte West confronted Taylor about the fight with his sister.

“During this conversation West stated that Taylor became argumentative and put her hands around his throat in a choking manner,” the report states.

West, 23, told Taylor “their relationship was over,” and she left the club, telling him she was going to stay at a hotel and would be moving out of their apartment the next day.

Getting choked and not even fighting back. Now that’s a real man. Compare that with, oh, I don’t know, let’s just take a random person in America here, how about: Brett Myers. Right.

Cops: Enraged galpal choked, chomped Celt [Boston Herald via Deadspin]
Archives: Delonte West

Haze Slowing Clearing From City’s Dive Bars

That cigarette at the bar over the weekend may have been your last. And by “may” I mean “was most certainly not,” but it was your last in a Philadelphia bar, at least legally.

Yes, the once-legendary smoking ban goes into effect today as declared by City Arbiter of Health John Street.

The fines go from a robust $25 for a first offense up to the cost of a nice bike in the mid 1990s ($300). KYW 1060, though, has the real dangers of the now-in-effect ban on lighting up in bars:

Other bartenders in the Center city area say they are concerned about patrons who go out for a smoke and start trouble.

Yes, if this smoking ban is going to do anything, it’s going to lead to the first fights ever in the history of Philadelphia bars.

Smoking Ban Goes Into Effect Today [KYW 1060]

Blackwell Nearly Uses Gold-Glove Pedigree On Tasco

Yesterday, as the Daily News‘ Gar Joseph reports, councilwomen Jannie Blackwell and Marian Tasco almost got into an actual fight on the council floor. Preventing this from happening was my new least favorite councilman, Darrell Clarke, who got inbetween the two.

Joseph explains why the two nearly came to blows — something about a land transfer of a church — but, frankly, the best part of the entire article is this:

Asked how close it got, Blackwell said later, “I’m ready. I’ve been going to the gym at 44th and Chestnut five days a week.”

“I’m from a family of boxers and I can handle myself,” she said. “I’ll do what I have to do.”

Now this is the City Council we know and love. Great to have you guys back.

Gar Joseph | Blackwell & Tasco nearly spar over an issue [Daily News]
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! [Wikipedia]

How NBC 10 Is Like Fifth Grade

During the recent floods, NBC 10 reporter Vince DeMentri stood waist-deep in water while doing a report. This angered Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz, who informed DeMentri that you shouldn’t be in water any higher than your ankles, ‘cuz you could drown or something.

Here’s what happened next, courtesy of the Inquirer’s Michael Klein:

NBC10’s Vince DeMentri landed in hot water over deep water.

During flooding last Thursday, NBC10 warned its newsies to stay out of the water during their stand-ups, lest they tempt danger and send a wrong message to viewers.

DeMentri, though, did his hit in Trenton from a waist-deep flood, prompting an on-air scolding from weatherguy Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz.

Talk around the station says DeMentri returned to 10 Monument Rd., entered the weather studio, and began bellowing at the much-smaller Schwartz. Doug Kammerer, a strapping fellow, supposedly inserted himself between the two; not so much as Schwartz’s bow tie was ruffled. Management, never happy about office confrontations, called in DeMentri.

We know Doug Kammerer did the right thing there, but, oh, come on. That would have been an awesome fight.

Update: We almost forgot. The best part of the whole report was when they threw it back to Tim Lake (eventually), and he said something like “Glenn — I mean Hurricane — I’m over where Vince was and can see they he has gotten to higher ground and he’s safe.”

Inqlings | NBC10’s DeMentri wades into troubled waters [Inquirer]

Kids Nowadays Can’t Scuffle Without Making Front-Page News

It was a slow news week for gays. And why not? Now that the Republicans — well, some of them, anyway — have decided that demonizing illegal immigrants, not gays, is the way to shore up the base, there just really wasn’t much gay political news this week. And the Mass. ruling on not allowing out-of-state gay couples to marry didn’t break until yesterday, seemingly too late for this week’s paper.

That slow news week led to this article, on the front page of the new edition of the Philadelphia Gay News today:

A disturbance occurred the evening of March 23 outside of The Attic Youth Center, 255 S. 16th St. According to police reports, an 18-year-old female claimed that a male bumped into her at 6:52 p.m while she was tying her sneaker. The incident was coded as a disturbance. No charges were filed.

In response to being pushed, the female punched the male and his friends began fighting with her friend, police said. During the scuffle, pepper spray was released. The male and his acquaintances fled before the police arrived. Complainants and witnesses said they knew the other youths.

Police later found the suspects at the corner of Broad and Spruce streets.

The victim and her friends could not identify the person who released the spray. Though no formal charges were filed, the 18-year-old can file a private criminal complaint with the District Attorney’s office.

So, basically, a kid bumped into another kid and they fought. That’s front page material!

Altercation at the Attic [Philadelphia Gay News]

Holy wars

There’s something about high school basketball that seems to cause fights to break out.

No, wait, scratch that: There’s something about Catholic high school basketball that seems to cause fights to break out. For some reason, when those Catholic high schoolers ditch the navy blue sweaters and plaid jumpers for casual garb and head to a local gym to watch players who can actually shoot free throws, there’s bound to be some fighting.

Case in point: After Neumann-Goretti edged Roman on a three at the buzzer in the Catholic League championship, fans threw bottles, tempers flared, and six people were arrested — including Antonio “Tone” Jardine, father of N-G point guard Antonio “Scoop” Jardine. (The Daily News‘ Ted Silary is one of the best high school writers in the country, if only because he always puts in the nicknames.)

The Neumann people say it’s Roman’s fault, since they threw “debris, including plastic bottles, at least some with varying levels of soda/water” — this is another reason why Silary rules — at Neumann players and fans. But the Roman people say it’s N-G’s fault, since Derrick “D.J.” Rivera ran over to Roman’s bench to celebrate after hitting the gamewinner.

Anyway, Catholic league hoops probably won’t be back at La Salle’s Tom Gola Arena next year, and the Palestra probably won’t take them, either. Are you ready for the Catholic League championship at the Hank Gathers Courts at 25th and Diamond? Actually, that would kind of rock.

Buzzer-beatings follow buzzer-beater [DN]
Photo by absolutwade

A real Philadelphia sports fan story

And now, the first great Philadelphia sports story of 2006: At yesterday’s Eagles-Redskins game, some poor Philadelphia woman, fed up with the Eagles shitty performance all season, got up and poured beer all over Redskins’ running back Clinton Portis’ mom, Rhonnel Hearn, who was sitting in the stands. (That’s Portis at left. And, no, I’m not kidding.)

And how did Hearn respond? Oh, nothing but a swift punch right back at the unidentified woman. Portis’ mom watched the rest of the game from the sideline. Says the Washington Post:

“She busted some lady in the nose, but that’ll just teach you about messing with her,” Portis said. “I think fans take that too serious. People come to the game to have a good time, that’s what you should do. If you decide your team is losing and you want to cause trouble, then you’re going to get what you’re looking for. And yesterday, whoever that fan was, they got what they were looking for.”

Of course I should, as a native Philadelphian, jump all over Portis’ mom. But, hey, she got beer poured on her — the only good Philadelphia thing to do would be to punch the person who did it right in the face. Plus, eh, as much as I love Philadelphia sports, sometimes Philadelphia sports fans are a little annoying at games. Oh, no, not you, dear reader. I mean the guy you don’t like.

In Philly, Mama Said Knock You Out [Washington Post]
Ma Sweets Will Punch You In The Mouth [Deadspin]