Who On Council Save Us From Fast Food?

By now you may have heard about the ban on new fast food restaurants in South L.A.; although the ban is only for a year, it supporters hope to make it permanent.

Here’s the reasoning for the ban, from Slate’s Will Saletan (I’m only quoting this so I could attach the excellent caption from the Slate article, at right):

Start with the press release issued a week ago by the moratorium’s sponsor, Councilwoman Jan Perry. Its subhead says the ordinance will “help spur the development of diverse food choices.” In the second paragraph, Perry declares,

This ordinance is in no way attempting to tell people what to eat but rather responding to the need to attract sit-down restaurants, full service grocery stores, and healthy food alternatives. Ultimately, this ordinance is about providing choices—something that is currently lacking in our community.

How does blocking new fast-food outlets provide more choices? It helps local officials “attract grocery stores and restaurants to the area, by preserving existing land for these uses,” says the release. And why does the moratorium apply only to the poor part of town, around South-Central L.A.? A fellow council member explains: “The over concentration of fast food restaurants in conjunction with the lack of grocery stores places these communities in a poor situation to locate a variety of food and fresh food.” Supporters of the moratorium call this state of affairs “food apartheid.”

Okay, it’s time to do a little interactivity: Clearly, this legislation is coming to Philadelphia. But which City Council member will be the one to introduce it? My best guess would be Blondell Reynolds Brown, she of the tour guide regulation aiming to prevent hilarious tour guide lies. A buddy of mine who used to cover City Council says a majority of the ridiculous Council legislation comes out of the Northeast (no surprise), though.

To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if several Council members got stuck,Three Stooges-style, in a doorway in City Hall while rushing to get back to draft legislation like this.

Council bans new fast-food outlets in South L.A. [LA Times]

Update: Onion Rings Of Death And Miraculous Car Crash

There is also video of the great onion rings of death/miraculous car crash story of 2007. You must simply watch it, for the incredible graphic above and the dramatic scene of the onion rings crashing down to the earth with a dramatic voice-over. It’s some of the finest work from a television reporter since Jim Osman told us somebody had some ’splainin’ to do.

Crash Saves Man From Choking On Onion Ring
Earlier today: Fast Food Nearly Kills Someone Quickly This Time

Fast Food Nearly Kills Someone Quickly This Time

Yesterday, NBC 10 ran a breaking exclusive story of a man who choked on an onion ring and then crashed his truck because of it. Miraculously, though, the crash saved his life because it dislodged the onion ring.

Basically, this story encompasses everything one needs to know about America: giant automobiles, fast food, God and stupidity.

Bryan Rocco has a hunger for fast food but never thought a Burger King onion ring would almost kill him, NBC 10’s Ted Greenberg reported. “I was eating my lunch on the road,” Rocco said, adding that he soon found himself “gasping for air.”

Nice lead-in. Wouldn’t that work for every story where someone dies or nearly dies? “Bob Smith liked skydiving, but he never thought his ‘chute wouldn’t open!”

More »

Have It Your Way (If ‘Your Way’ Means ‘With A Mouse’)

Noted gourmet restaurant chain Burger King recently had a little problem at a location in Montgomery County. It seems a customer at a BK in Abington was sitting there, enjoying his whopper, when suddenly he spotted two mice near his table.

The mice — we’ll call them Mickey and Minnie — were running around, stealing whoppers, eating French fries, drinking milkshakes, ordering kids’ meals. Or they were just skittering around in the dining area. A health inspector stopped by and decided the restaurant should stay open.

An inspector did find mice in the dining area, but:”The inspector did not see mice in the food preparation area.”

Health Department spokeswoman Harriet Morton says because no imminent health threat was found, the restaurant was allowed to remain open.

The mice are now gone, so you can now enjoy disgusting fast food without disgusting critters running around your feet. Hooray!

Local Burger King Allowed to Stay Open After Mouse Found [KYW 1060]