More Police Sketch Madness

So far in 2008, we’ve had quite a few police sketches of creepy-looking characters. Paleface, of course, and King Tut as well. Earlier this week the police released new sketches of a man accused in four sexual assaults and one murder in Fairmount Park from 2003 to 2007.

As a public service, I’ve posted the various sketches above. Basically, I want to keep chronicling all the police sketches this year, and by the end we will have a whole art collection of the scariest-looking criminals in the area.

New Sketch Of Fairmount Park Rapist Released [CBS 3]

Philly To Wildwood-ify Fairmount Park

As the summer ends, it’s time to think: Hmm, what should the city start thinking about building for next year’s dog days?

Personally, we can’t think of anything better than a water park in Fairmount Park. John Street met last week with a local investment firm about the idea — which is also pushed, of course, by Denis Carlson, who was acquitted last year of lying to the FBI.

James Kenney (also at the meeting) explained to the stupid just what a water park is:

“A water park is a place where families can go, and enjoy slides and water sports and lazy river pools, to lay on inner tubes. It’s just basically family fun.”

While Kenney and Street were talking about a water park, five more people were shot and killed.

Street Considers Water Park in Fairmount Park [KYW 1060]

Do You Believe In Miracles?

Now that there are no longer trees around Logan Square — the photo at right is of a happier, shadier time — the citizens of Philadelphia are forced to jump into Swann Fountain to cool off, especially as temperatures near 100 degrees.

This, apparently, is unsafe and illegal, accoding to the Fairmount Park Commission, as “there are little kids diving off the statues into less than two feet of water.” Fair enough. But we Philadelphians aren’t stopped by little details like legality. And so the Fairmount Park Commission dispatched a Ford Expedition to drive in circles around the uhh, square, and sound a siren when kids attempted to swim in Swann Fountain. (Raise your hand if you had no idea the fountain had a name.)

Metro reporter Josh Cornfeld filed a dispatch titled “Battle of Swann Fountain” in today’s paper. Here’s the ending:

Some sat with just their feet in the water, others came with children whose sole goal was getting to the Native American statues in the center. But the ranger remained on guard.

Finally, at 6:37 p.m., the white SUV stopped its circular dance and headed down the Parkway, away from the fountain.

“It’s OK,” Yvonne Cambridge yelled, running toward the water with her granddaughter, “he left.”

[Larry] Lindsay jumped into the water and ran to the middle. He thrust his arms skyward in triumph, his red and white adidas sneakers and T-shirt the lone things left on the side.

Disney’s sports division has already greenlit a movie based on Cornfeld’s account of this heroic upset.

Battle of Swann Fountain [Metro]