Landscape Futures At Penn

Not cutting out of work to watch the NCAA Tournament? Don’t even try to talk me. But you might want to cut out of work a little early to go catch a speech at Penn by BLDGBLOG’s Geoff Manaugh at Myerson Hall (34th and Walnut, roughly).

Manaugh writes he’ll be talking about the picture at right — OMG best roller coaster ever! — and other “landscape futures,” which is something far too cool for me to understand. (Also: “climate change, ruined cities, tectonic warfare, James Bond, the literal end of the earth, and a bit of Hollywood-style archaeology.”) BLDG BLOG is one of the smartest, most interesting blogs out there, and I even considered skipping some tourney games to go.

3:30 p.m., free, Meyerson Hall at Penn, probably in the basement.

Landcape futures at Penn [BLDG BLOG]

Rock Paper Scissors Tourney Offers PBR, Uh, Bike

Hey! In case you didn’t know, I’m kind of a big wheel in the world of competitive rock paper scissors. (Photographic evidence here in shot #2.) And by “big wheel,” I mean, “I’m actually quite atrocious.”

Unfortunately for the rest of the league, I hit an inexplicable hot streak during the finals of the RPS City League this year and ended up advancing to the final eight before losing to the eventually runner-up. And, so, I am technically ranked in the top eight in the city, a notable fact I enjoy bringing up every 30 seconds or so. Mwahahaha!

Anyway, Saturday, October 6 is the annual “Keystone Classic,” which I kind of like to call the state championship of RPS, a moniker I am fairly sure is inaccurate. Perhaps it’s the Northeastern United States championships. Last year I refereed the Keystone Classic, and managed to do a terrible job.

Anyway, this year’s RPS Keystone Classic features a $5 entry fee and a top prize of $500. Second place, though, is a Pabst Blue Ribbon bike. I’m kinda hope it’s made out of cans of PBR, but I assume it’s just a regular blue bike with a Pabst logo on it. If you win this bike and lock it in the City of Philadelphia, it is guaranteed to be stolen within 15 minutes.

Sure, you could buy a PBR bicycle on eBay, but what’s the point when you can get one just for placing second in a rock paper scissors tournament. Honestly, when I get to the finals, I might just throw the match so I can drunkenly ride that bike home. Actually, that’s probably a bad idea; I’d better just win instead. Or, more likely, lose in the first round.

Full release after the jump.

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Guards, Inmates To… Reunite?

You guys really better clear your calendars Sunday. At 2:30 p.m., there is perhaps the greatest event of all time: The Eastern State Penitentiary Alumni Reunion.

Apparently, some of the former guards and inmates of Eastern State aren’t all that old, and, as it says on the Eastern State website, “People are sometimes surprised to find that many of Eastern State’s former officers and inmates… enjoy returning to the cellblocks to remember old times.” Yes. Yes, you could say I am a bit surprised by that.

The ex-guards and inmates are going to be speaking, probably about all the wacky times they had. And here I thought Eastern State was a mental illness-causing hellhole, when instead it was apparently the prison from Naked Gun 33 1/3. Ha ha, remember the scene where O.J. Simpson catches all the babies while doing a touchdown dance?

ESP Alumni Reunion [PhillyFunGuide]
Events [Eastern State Penitentiary]