‘Green’ Gets Even More Annoying

The Inquirer ran a column from Lynne “Theo” Ratliff yesterday about local supermarkets phasing out plastic bags (or offering you 5 cents if you use your own bag, et cetera).

And, what do you know, Ratliff is against it. I think. Because she doesn’t drive a car so she should get to cover the Earth in plastic bags. Okay, that’s not really the point

When the first Whole Foods market opened near my home, each cashier had a bagger. I marveled at how baggers taped and cushioned my parcels so nothing got damaged when I wheeled my shopping cart home. (I don’t have a car, which qualifies me already for being “green.”) [Summary of long graph to save space (and be green!): The three grocery stores in Center City want you to use your own bags and Whole Foods has eliminated plastic bags.]

The laziest cashiers seemed the most vehement about asking customers if they’d brought their own bag(s). They cut the number of bags they had to pack by loading them up to the tippy-top. Save a tree, but not my back.

I agree it is important to live in harmony with our planet, and we could be more frugal in our bag use. But plastic just works better for me. Paper bags are tough to carry on a long haul, especially for someone already being pro-green (and frugal) by walking instead of driving. Paper bags are also useless when it rains.

Effing lazy cashiers. Don’t they know that Ratliff doesn’t have a car and is therefore environmentally superior to them?!

I can, though, think of at least one other bad thing about supermarkets phasing out plastic bags: It led to this column.

Paper or plastic: Are grocers going green or just pretending to? [Inquirer]

The Earth Is Alright

Here is a letter the Daily News actually printed today, about the Earth:

Letters: Earth, shmearth

I HAVE A GREAT suggestion for all you environmental wackos to do on “Earth Day”:

Leave it alone!

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

I also have a question: Who do we sue if all of these proposed changes make the situation worse?

Tom Bell
Philadelphia

Thanks, Tom! I can tell you’re a scientist and you clearly know what you’re doing with your famous “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” theorem. Thanks for clearing it all up for me.

Letters: Earth, shmearth [Daily News]

Eco-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Big story on NBC 10: A “local commuter” spends only three bucks a week on gas!

I originally thought he was stealing the gas, which would have made for an hilarious story. But it turns out he’s a Temple engineering professor who figured out a way to plug in his car at home so he doesn’t have to buy much gas. Oh yeah, the car is also so environmentally conscious it’s a 1978 El Camino. It also only goes 26 miles, but he just drives it from Bristol to Temple, which means he has to start pushing on his way back when he gets to the Street Road exit on I-95.

Oh, and thank NBC 10 for the photo, which was created with the font from Match Game, apparently.

Local Commuter Spends $3 Week On Gas [NBC 10]

‘Green’ Event During Eagles Game Not For Eagles

Last night marked the start of football season, making me extremely happy I have something to do on Sundays now. The Eagles play their first game Sunday afternoon at 1 against Green Bay, who were last good in like 1998 or something.

Also on Sunday, the city is holding “GreenFest Philadelphia” from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. on South Street Presumably, there will be tailgaiting, the game on a big screen and celebration after the Eagles win. Michael Nutter will be there. Hillary Clinton might even campaign there! Maybe she’ll don a Donovan McNabb jersey and… wait, what?

Oh, it’s an environmental event, not an Eagles event. Green on Sundays… and not the Eagles? Is such a thing possible? Oh, but, it’ll still be pretty cool:

The Hotel Obligado stages a green clown performance[.]

In a green clown performance, I assume the clowns spray each other with recycled water and throw organic pies.

All for Earth [Inquirer]
[Photo via Inquirer, which added to my confusion]

Answer To Energy Crisis Blowin’ In The Wind

Never let anybody tell you that the city’s conservative broadsheet doesn’t care about the environment. Yes, the Evening Bulletin has a thoughtful piece today on urban windmills, small ones, that could power your whole home.

Does the Bulletin speak about the plight of the energy companies? No! Writer Josh Meyer writes, “Utilities will complain about alternative energies, but they have an enormous infrastructure to support. If people start making their own energy, we no longer have the need for long power lines and subsidized energy plants.” Oh snap!

Although Philadelphia doesn’t have the level of wind economically viable to produce giant windmills, smaller windmills, Meyer says, could revolutionize the home and power the city!

Locally produced electricity could reach its destination within a few feet. If the resident isn’t home, most likely someone in the neighborhood will make use of that energy.

Microprocessors and chips are getting cheaper by the day. In the next couple of years, we are going to see an explosion in “Smart Homes,” or houses that have a central computer monitoring everything from cooking times to lights to heating and air conditioning units. These systems can be connected to the internet so that you can make sure that you didn’t leave the curling iron on from your office over the Internet.

Of all the benefits modern technology has brought us — the ability to have a job doing this, for example — I think the ability to check if I left the curling iron on is by far the greatest. Sign me up for some o’ this windmill power!

Where Is The Wind In This City? [Bulletin]

Leftovers: Then Again, It Was Only Tampa

• You’ll be happy to know that, after his 62-yard game winner yesterday, Tampa’s mayor proclaimed yesterday Matt Bryant Day in honor of the Bucs kicker. Just wait. If an Eagles kicker ever hits a 65-yarder, I bet he’ll get a whole week in his honor. [Bucs Report]

• New Temple (and ex-Penn) coach Fran Dunphy has his players doing yoga in preseason, in addition to joining in himself in the stretching. Oh, now that’s a scene we all need to see. [CSTV Slog]

• Here’s some kickass YouTube footage of ‘XPN’s Top 10 artists of all time. The list, unfortunately, is about as predictable as you expected it to be. [All About The Music via Phillyist]

• Our city: A paucity of green roofs. Oh, come on, you’re not surprised. [The Illadelph]