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Giants Fans Head Into Hibernation

How. About. That.

The Eagles are headed to the NFC Championship Game. I’m going to spend the rest of my day reading articles from mid-season about how Eli Manning is better than his older brother. At least they both have the DoubleStuf League to fall back on!

Next week, it’s on like Donkey Kong in Arizona, as the Eagles take on the Cardinals (of all teams). Revenge for the horrible field in the 1947 NFL Championship is finally at hand!

Update: By popular demand, here’s a larger version of the above image.

Eli Manning Somehow Wins Super Bowl

Wow. The Ron Paul Blimp coulda crashed into the field — through the roof of the dome! — and I would have been less surprised than watching Eli Manning lead the game-winning drive in the final minute. Yes, the Giants are Super Bowl Champs, and now you have to hear about it from your annoying college friends for another few years or so. Thanks, Patriots, even when you fail to go undefeated you screw me over.

So, yes, the Super Bowl champs are a team that only beat one team with a winning record (Washington) during the regular season and beat the Eagles in game one without Westbrook and in game two when David Akers’ game-tying 59-yard field goal hit the upright.

The highlight of the game was clearly the end of the pregame show, where Ben Franklin impersonator Ralph Archbold (and other historical impersonators who probably aren’t as famous as Archbold since Philadelphia has no celebrities) helped introduce the Declaration of Independence. This had a lot to do with football.

The Founding Fathers were once again shown as freedom fighters instead of a bunch of annoying slave-humping, cannabis-smoking rich people who didn’t want to pay taxes. (They were kind of the Ron Paul supporters of their day, only effective.) Anyway, the dirty terrorist Giants defeated the all-American Patriots yesterday, so that means six more weeks of winter and it probably means John McCain wins the presidency to get us into 100 more years of war.

[video via The 700 Level]